"That's not really how it happened..."

It must be hard for you to sit tight lipped when your mum tells people things about you, that you know are not true. One way would be to constantly correct her, but then this will get you down and you'll just end up arguing. The other would be to just tell your friends after she has gone what is really true and explain to them the relationship you have had with your mum if they don't know already. I think this is the way I would deal with it. However, if she is making passing judgements, then I would have to pull her up on the quiet and have a word with her. From what has happened in the past, she is lucky to have you back in her life, so she should really be going out of her way to be kind and find out more about your life when she was absent. Good luck and remember at the end of the day, stay true to yourself as you should come first in all of this. My thoughts are with you!

Honestly, I don't know what I would do. I have been criticized for correcting people - usually it has to do with grammar, pronunciation or what colour something is. There is always controversy over whether something is navy blue or black. My mother would never talk about past situations because she readily admits that she can't remember a lot. She certainly remembers her early days with Dad. She remembers some things when I was a child and even a teenager, but things that happened over the last 15-20 years she doesn't remember. She would not venture into telling a story when she doesn't remember the facts. I don't think I have ever been in a situation where someone outright lied about an event that involved me, in front of me. I don't think they would dare. I do question some people's stories but since I wasn't there I say nothing. I can't imagine why your mother would do that. Not being you, and not having the relationship (or non-relationship) that you have with your mother, I couldn't judge. But I would probably have spoken up and corrected her during the discussion.

I wouldn't correct anyone in front of others..........specially my mother... I understand that your mother was not for you when you needed her most, but she is your mother and you should give her respect in front of other people... I know that it can be hard, but your friends are coming after family...I believe that family is always first...

I wouldn't be able to let it slip (depending on the situation of course). I will most probably chip in and correct in with some humor so that everyone would still be happy. And the version be corrected. :P

I have a tendency to correct people when they share incorrect information. I hate for someone to get the wrong information. This has caused problems at times. My father is famous about not being able to get his facts straight. I am constantly correcting some thing that he has told someone else. I admit there are times that I have waited till later to tell them the correct information because I didn't want to argue with my father.

I tend to correct it most of the time unless I simply can't be bothered at the moment.

We all lie, some of us more than others, but I have known a person who really likes to lie about everything. My friends and I have caught her in so many lies that we cannot even count them all. We tell her that if she lies to us anymore we just will not talk to her.

I probably wouldn't correct that person in front of the group of people (contradicting someone generally leads to a public argument, and that's not worth the hassle), but if I was bothered by what had been said, I would set the record straight with the person being told, once the teller wasn't present. If the "mistake" or embellishment wasn't something which really bothered me, I'd let it go.

Too often our reality of the truth is blinded by our perception of the truth. I am one of those people by my very nature, that will correct a loved one in the middle of the story, for one I tend to say the first thing on my mind. And your right in that, that is not always the best thing to do. My middle Son is one that emotes or exaggerates a story almost to the point of a lie. I call him on it all of the time and it drives him crazy, But with him its a matter of keeping him real. I have however caught myself doing that with friends and have seen the looks of pain that I cause and I end up doing a lot of back tracking to make up for it. I also want to add that I have not alway had my information quite right, nor do I always know whats going on in the background. I like to think I do, but I know I do not. In the case of your mother I wonder if her perception has been clouded after all of these years? Perhaps what she is saying she perceives as truth? I commend you for giving her a bit of space, and discussing with your friends out of her ear shot. Thats a hard pill to swallow.

me, I have a tendency to show people my mother's psych med list while correcting the errors privately. it doesn't do any good to try and stop her, she just gets violent and its not worth it to go through that again and again.

It's possible your mother has convinced herself she is telling the truth. I think you did the best thing for yourself when you just let her talk, then fill the others in later on the real stuff. Otherwise you would have been in constant confrontation with her and made yourself sick! I am so sorry you had that kind of a childhood. You sound like you have done a lot of work to overcome it. I also think the fact that you could have your mother with you says a lot about the kind of person you are!

I'll say the truth if I know the real truth ha ha! I will speak it right in front of them especially if I have some nice proofs. Having the right proofs at the right time is just right to spill the beans. :)

My husband makes up his own reality too but he just alters stories that has happened and i get to listen to the same story a million times but it is different each time. I think you should definitly talk to her about it to let her know that you would want your friends to know the truth it is possible that you might have already mentioned the same thing to a friend in a different way and now they dont know which is the truth or if you may have lied to them about it. And definitly if it has anything to do with a health condition, that is nothing to mess with and the truth shoudl never be altered. But be gentle about it because she may not realize that she is doing it. she may have put her facts into her reality and for her that is the way it happened and the way things are.

I'd call them out in a skinny minute. My sister in law has her own sense of reality because she is addicted to pain medicine. I'm harsh with her. I don't understand sleeping your life away when you have 3 children and two step children. She always lets everyone else take care of her kids, can't hold a job, does everything to undermine my brother holding a job, lets her mom pay her bills, lies for food stamps and medical insurance, etc. She hops hospitals, doctors and pharmacies. I can't stand it and I call her out every time I get, which isn't very often since I try to limit my time with toxic people. Phew.. .can you tell I am a bit annoyed? LOL

I would correct things in front of them even in front of others to get the truth told. I don't believe in not telling the truth. A lie always comes back on you.

When one of my friends was telling incorrect stories involving me, I would correct it in front of others especially if my friend had told the stories to others behind my back. I know... it sounds like insensitive and harsh. Otherwise, it is going to get out of control. It is very damaging. Speaking incorrect stories behind of someone else's back is not a good trait. If someone doesn't want to be confronted in front of others or someone has shameful feeling, he/she won't do it at all behind your back or he/she won't tell incorrect stories to others in the first place. This is like a rumor involving a company, for instance, the public needs and demands the truth and their Public Relation has to explain it in front of the press. God also teaches us to confront the "acts of Devil". Because Devil is deceitful. Without telling how deceitful Devil is to human, we don't know between right and wrong until now.

My husband does this all the time. One of the stories he tells about he claims it was snowing and it wasn't it was just cold. Even to this day he still says it was snowing but everytime he tells it there was more and more snow on the ground! LOL I just think it is funny sometimes other times it really gets on my nerves. I always contridict him on it unless it is something that is not really important.

I get that from family and friends sometimes, I don't usually correct them. I feel why should I? I shouldn't have to defend myself or the timeline of events with people who should know better, While it can be more awkward if someone who doesn't know me listens to their "stories" I don't really want to know them if they can't have the decency to get to know me personally. If they ever ask me directly then I will tell my version. It can be a strain and lowers the trust I have of them. How events transpire and how you retell them should be done thoughtfully and with respect to the truth and the person, if they can't respect that and I have to correct them then it is displaying an aspect of their personality rather than their memory and makes me doubt the truth of other things they say.

Well, that's funny. I happen to learn about such things in a scientific manner... people who lie, not always do it out of wickedry... memory is not absolute, and people don't always remember correctly. More than that - one might think he is utterly right about something, and he would shout and argue with people who say otherwise, just because he remembers vividly some false memory. In an experiment carried out in the US, 3 brothers were tested. The experimenter had a few sessions with the brothers and asked them to speak about childhood events. Little by little, the experimenter started to add some extras to their stories. The one that the details were added to his story protested it didn't happen at first, but after 3 weeks of sessions, he was certain the false events realy happened to him and more than that - he started elaborating and creating more details to make the false memory more real. This kind of experiment was repeated many times over. Most people the way our memory works (not absolute) is bad. But if you would think about it - we give up absolution for the sake of generalizition... it is a trade off all living beings do.

we cant control gossips. and most of the details are usually taken out of the scene while some parts are added. this situations doesnt really bother me. its enough for me that there are few people who knew about what really had happened. in case that no one else knew about it, ill make sure that ill tell the whole story to my friend or groups of friends.