does it make me a bad person?

No it doesn't make you a bad person for doing the responsible thing, although i do find it odd that you would have another child but not get your son back. Why have you not gotten him back? If i were you, i'd have gotten him back when you were all set & on your feet again, especially before having more children. If everything is going well for you now, then he needs to be with you since you're his mother. I'm sure he'll wonder why you gave him to your mother but never took him back even after having another child. If i were him i'd be very upset with you for not thinking about your first born before having more. I do NOT think you're a bad person but i do think you need to realise he is YOUR son too & that he needs to be with YOU now, especialy since you're obviously more mature & financially stable than you were when he was born.

I don't think it is the time to discuss what was bad or good. You cannot change yur past. But I agree that it is not yur fault it is lack of proper guidence and your bad surroundings but you were also not purely faultless. So don't think about that. Just try to make your today faultless and try to render your duty and fill your future with happiness and beauty.

of course not. you gave him to your mother because you knew that you could not take care. that is love. he knows who you are and he sees you and loves you. when he is older you can explain to him what you did and why. don't you feel bad for doing the right thing.

Giving a child up is the hardest thing that a mom has to do. It is also one of the most loving things a mother can do. You knew that you were too young, too immature and you couldn't provide for your child, so you gave him up. That was the most unselfish and loving thing you could have done and all those people who tell you different are just heartless and have no compassion. Ok, that said I feel better. :) As for your current situation. Would your mother be willing to give custody back to you? If so, since your son knows that you are his mother, why not get him back and raise him along with your daughter. Or ask him what he wants. If the relationship is great between your mother and you, maybe you could work something out where he lives with you during the week and her on weekends. You know, like shared custody. I am sure that you and your mother both want what is best for the children and that the two of you can work something out.

If you knew you were unable to care for him then you did the best you could at the time. It would have been selfish to keep him and neglect or abuse him. Just be honest with him and as he grows older he will understand.

You are not a bad person at all for doing this. You were mature enough to realize that by giving your mom guardianshio over your son that your son would be happy and taken care of in the time that you were having trouble with your life. I think you are right to think that he may have some resentment that you have his sister with you and not him when he gets older. Are you planning to take him back at any point if you are you need to let him kknowthat but nothing that may get his hopes up to high that if it doesnt work out right you cant. And if you have decided that you are going to leave him with your mom you need to continue to see him the way have said you have and keep reminding him that you do love him and that you are his mommy and build as strong as a relationship as you possibly can with him letting him know as he does get older that even though he is with his grandma and his sister or even other sibling arent it doesnt change how much you love him and that you had to love him enough to give him the life he has had with his grandma. But you cant distant yourself from him at any point in his life even if there is a time while still young he starts to have resentment issues becasue it will be worse when he gets alot older. My sister was raised by my grandmother and she had alot of issues with my mom but mom also didnt have keep herself close to my sister she kindof just left her mom to raise her and that was that, although back then my mother didnt really have a choice my grandmother said she was taking her and that was that, my mom never really had the chance to decide to give her a better life which turns out really wasnt. And now they dont speek to one another. So just keep him as close as you can. And love him and i think he will be fine.

No but I would be trying to get him back and showing everyone that you can be a great mum to your children..... Then he should not resent you.... It may not affect him now but it may in his teens, depends on all the circumstances surrounding the issue..... You sound as if you have grown and learnt from your mistakes I would be trying to be a family....

I would not say that u are a bad person. You did what u felt was best for him at the time. Now that u seem to be a bit older and more settled down, why cant you fight to get him back. Your mom should really understand this and help u along the way.

You were just a kid yourself having a baby- You made some bad choices in your life but you chose to give your son a better life. It's too bad that you didn't stay there and raise him alongside your mom helping along the way- If I were you I would now be fighting to get him back- Let him live with you and your daughter- Have you talked to your mom about this? I think it would be a good thing for you and your son!

You were not selfish. You knew you could not give your child what he needed so you gave him up. But think about this you did not give him up to strangers. You gave him to your mom who you knew what give him a good life. It is only natural for him to call your mom mommy if you have siblings and that is what they call her. You have grown from what this discussion says and it is only natural that it would hurt you to hear your child call someone else mom. You are not a bad person. You were young and didn't know any other way. I think if it was me I believe that I would try to regain custody of my child. A judge is going to look at the fact that it was your mom you gave your baby to and know that you were looking out for the best interest of the child. Don't ever think you are a bad person because of the one thing you did. You did it out of love.

No, you are not a bad person, you are a loving, intelligent mother who did her best for her little one. Start talking to him now about how you love him, why you left him with mommy, that you knew she could care for him as you couldn't. Is it possible for you to have him with you now?? If not, can you have him for some special times, just the two of you, without the baby sissy, or any of the others? I applaude you for being wise enough at 16 to put your little guy in safe hands.

I think that it must have been a very hard decision for you. It seems that you knew you would not be a great mom at that time in your life...you were still a baby youself. It is wonderful of your mother to take your child in as her own. I think that once your son is old enough to understand, he will realize that you were doing what is best for him and that is being a great mom.

i have nothing against you but still you are responsible for everything that has come out your own flesh and blood. i see that you are hurt because you are called by your son by your real name. i don't blame the child it;s youor fault but still you can change that. you have a daughter now and i see you can already cope up with your problems in life i think you can now get the custody of your child. you must go on with your life even if it's hard.i had the same experience as you did and i had given up some vices for my kid. i am becoming more mature as time goes by. try to get your child and you will mature if you truly love him. Thanks for posting a nice discussion. See you friend!

I don't think you are a bad person, i think you was very young and that in hindsight you would not have gotten into that situation. I think perhaps you should talk to you mother about your worries and feelings relating to this, she might understand, maybe he could join you ans Sissy. I really do think you should talk to your mum though as you may end up resenting her is he does not understand. It sounds as though you have found your feet with your daughter. Good luck and congratulations.

You did what you thought was best for your child. This makes you a good mother. You are doing your best to be a part of his life now. That makes you a good mother. You are concerned about his feelings. That makes you a good mothers. Like you said...you were 16! Now you are older and mature and you've learned from your mistakes this makes you a good mother. I wish you and your family happiness.

no. of course not. at that time, you were only 16 barely making it through highschool (I guess) so it was the smartest move to let your mother take care of him. But now, she should have the initiative to allow you and your son to be together. I think, you're capable of taking care of him now right?

If you just gave your mother guardianship of your son then you should be able to get him back. It would be different if he didn't know you are his mom. Of course he is going to think that you didn't want him. You need to get him back. I can understand why you gave him to your mother since you were so young but since you have a new baby now before getting him back you need to do something about it. Otherwise he should not have been told you were his real mother. He must be very confused.

I think you are a great person for realizing that you weren't ready at the time and that you gave up guardianship. I've seen what happens to kids when their mother decides partying is a priority, it's not that great for the children.

It's good that you have come back to your senses. Well, just make sure that you don't make the same mistake to your 2 month old daughter. You can try starting another mother and son relationship with your son. But if it doesn't work, you still have your daughter.

No, bringing your child to this world makes you a Great Mother. Being 16 could have given you thoughts of aborting your baby but you were so brave to face the world and the consequences of your action. I will not judge you also when you gave it up to your mom to take care of because at that age, you were at a loss. However, if I were you, and also because you seem to love your son very much, what could be more fitting than to be with your son specially now that you have another baby. think of the joy that your son will feel having to take care of the baby! Don't be afraid to be a parent. Mothers know best and we have the instinctive feelings when it comes to nurturing our children! I will pray that you can be all together as one family. God bless.