are you good in conversations?
By panicdude
@panicdude (456)
Philippines
May 21, 2007 8:52am CST
are you the one to approach the person to talk to them? do you get shy when a stranger asks you something?
i'm not the kind of person you know that always talk. yes i am talkative when i'm with my family, but with around other people i'm not. i always become shy around other people. especially when i'm not really close to them. sometimes during a phone conversation, i always listen and never talk. i'm not really good at talking on phone because i always use body language and facial expressions. so obviously, you really can't see that when your on the phone. and when a stranger asks me questions or directions, my voice becomes small so they can't hear me [so much for asking a question huh?].
i'm really not good at conversations. can you help me be good at talking to people? and if you feel the same way as me, do you get shy also? i really want some of your advices and your views. =D
1 person likes this
10 responses
@lonely_f16 (2146)
• Philippines
21 May 07
I'm also the type of person who talks a lot with my family and friends but then when I am with strangers, I just talk a little and I have this invicible wall that I put in between us. Unless I get to know this person well, I wouldn't break the wall. Well, I think a good way to converse with people is to ask them questions to know them better.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
22 May 07
Hi there panicdude. I'm a little shy myself, but I attract people like a magnet when they need someone to talk to. It has always been this way. So, what I did was learn to be a good listener first. I also study people. I seem to just know what they need to hear to make them feel better. I took a course in communication in college to help me get over my fear of speaking in public. Mostly though, you just have to build confidence in yourself. Tell yourself that people want to talk to you because they sense you will be a good listener. Then make yourself believe it! Good luck.
@panicdude (456)
• Philippines
24 May 07
thank you very much for the advice. i'm glad you shared your experience! happy mylotting!
@RAMPersona (2033)
• Philippines
21 May 07
if i were you i would ask my closest pal or family member to help me out..i'd ask her/him to disguise as someone i'm far from having a conversation with.. try to talk to him/her as if he/she was a stranger. and i guess practice makes perfect.. (..don't mind i'm not an expert on this matter)
@oldboy46 (2129)
• Australia
22 May 07
I am okay with talking to people I don't know. In fact it often happens that I go up to people that I have never met before and talk to them. It comes with the job, as I am a truck driver and we are often going to new places to make deliveries. This means that we have to talk to someone there, and it is seldom the same person all the time.
If you are in a social setting, then walk up to a person and tell them your name. Generally they will tell you theirs and then you can ask how they are. Make some comment (a nice one if possible) about the event, the town, ask if they are from the same town or something like that. There are heaps of opening gambits that you can use to get a conversation started. If they look pained, maybe the music is a bit loud and so you can say something rather harmless about that.
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
21 May 07
Just like you, im also a shy and reserved person. But since i got a job related to people which is selling. I got used to talking to people but somehow the shyness in me wont just go away. Specially when i attend parties, i would be just sitting in a corner listening for all the things that they are saying. I consider myself the "listener" and not the talker. My advice to you is expose yourself to people as much as you can. And practice talking to people, practice and more practice. You should not be just talking plain, you should think of ways of engaging you're audience to your discussion, think of smart and stimulating topics, be funny and witty as well. Practice and train youself. You'll be a good conversationalist in no time.
@panicdude (456)
• Philippines
23 May 07
that'll be an obstacle for me but i should try my hardest to overcome this. like you, i'm more of a listener. given the chance to open a new topic, i tend to stutter and mumble words. maybe i should get a speech coach of some sort. hey, i appreciate your response! thank you. =D
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
22 May 07
hi panicdude,
i am a very lousy talker. i would raher shy away in a recluse than to enjoy in a gathering. my sisters are exactly the opposite, they are ever garrulous, fun lovinh extroverts whose presnce could be felt from a long distance. on the contrary, i hardly talk to ppl unless official or urgent. i have many good friends and guess what, most are good talkers. i enjoy listening and they look upto my silence. no wonder i am a great listener.
so, obviously i fumble, fidget and get red while talking to a stranger. say, when being introduced to a family's friend. i am quite okay with my restrained professional talks. everyone has accepted me like that but i do have problem sometimes when i get misunderstood miserably. i can't even explain properly to reason with them, i just let go.
thanks.
PS: did i just sound boring??
@chardyme (1631)
• Philippines
22 May 07
im not good in conversation. im also a shy type of person and just like to listen to people in a conversation.
@shinjiao (1457)
• China
22 May 07
Hi,panicdude!
I'm not the person who first start a conversation but I'm talkative in a conversation.I don't scare talk with strangers,I will talk to them naturally and friendly.I think learning communicate with strangers is important.
@aniez0906 (263)
• Indonesia
22 May 07
yeah..., i thing i am good in conversation. my friends said if i can talkative with everyone. i have much friends, and they like me i think.
You can exercise to talk with someone in a mirror may be..., and you must to start to talk with everyone you meet everyday..., you must to active, not passive, give them some interest story, or funny story, i think next time you will be talk better
