Should I go back or stay here?

China
May 22, 2007 10:58am CST
I've been in Shanghai for about ten days, I came here for him, so I've been planned to find a new job here, but ten days have gone, I didn't find a satisfying job. Now, I'll go back to Beijing this weekend, some of my friends said I should stay here, give up my present job, keep searching for the new job here. But some of them said I should have a talk with him about our relationship, because during the days I stayed here, he always appeared like my boyfriend, but he did said the words as wanting to leave me. I said I dare not to have a talk with him about this topic, I'm afraid that he will say some words hurting me, I'm afraid that I will have no reason to keep staying in this city, thus, I must be separate with him, so our relationship will must be over. Maybe I'm just escaping from facing the result, maybe we won't go together at last, maybe I just be afraid to accept the fact so early... I don't know whether I should go back or stay here to search job, I'm really confused!!!
4 responses
huilee
@huilee (1005)
• Singapore
22 May 07
Can u search at ur present job? AS in keep searching though u r still working... tt makes it better isnt it? i guess its a wiser choice too... i wouldnt advice to quit ur job and go over because what if u cant find a job there... moreover, its nt ur own country... so maybe on a safer side, take note of more opportunities while u r working? =) hope my advice helps...
Kristien
@Kristien (78)
• China
22 May 07
Yeah, I'm doing it just as you advice, I think it's safer. After all, I must keep living.
healer
@healer (1779)
• India
22 May 07
If you think that the relationship is not as good as it was before, i think its better you go back and try to settle things from there. In case the relationship turned out to be sour after sometime after you decided to stay here, than it will hurt you more. So, better go back there as you are also not finding a job with your satisfaction. Anyway you have to think about it properly before taking any decision, sometimes we hurt ourself so try to avoid that and be wise. Sorry that you are having a hard time, anyway good luck and be strong what ever the time will bring.
Kristien
@Kristien (78)
• China
22 May 07
Thank you for your advice, but I think nobody can give a clear answer to himself when he is facing the problems about love, doesn't it? I just be confused whether what I'm doing now is worthy.
dragontester
@dragontester (570)
• Switzerland
22 May 07
You can first go back to your old job. And give this some time. With time you can think more clear. Do not take any decision now itself, as you appear to be feeling low. It is better to decide when you are in a balanced state of mind. So, first go back to your job, so that you regain some confidence. Then, think about all the things that have happened and then talk to him. Discuss the issues and ask him what he feels. Since it involves both of you, it is better that you both discuss it and then come to a decision. But, do not do it when you are stressed and already have other problems.
jillhill
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
22 May 07
If you go back then he will see that he misses you...Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe return to your life, and if things go forward with him, then return to find a new job. He should make a committment before you leave everything behind.