How to adjust to being a minister's wife

I feel that what you're currently going through is perfectly normal, especially considering that this is perhaps a totally new and different thing for you. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, though, since I feel that it would not help in your preparation for the great but quite manageable task that you are about to undertake. However, a little pressure may be healthy, since it could help in moving you to effectively prepare and it would not make you complacent. Admittedly, being a minister's wife could truly be quite a daunting task, but if you have the will and faith to be the best minister's wife you could ever be, then I truly feel that you could be such. In trying to prepare, try to humbly consult your predecessors, if possible. Through them, you could surely learn a lot in regard the duties or responsibilities of a minister's wife. They could likewise teach you the pitfalls you must avoid when you've already assumed such position. In doing such, your qualms could perhaps be alleviated and you may even feel a sense of excitement when you've assumed your rightful position. Further, you could try to constantly talk to the members of your new congregation, especially those that will most probably be your constituents (the older women), to get a feel of their sentiments or concerns, which could help you a lot in trying to figure out what kinds of prospective programs you may come up with, or kinds of concerns you may possibly face in the future, once you've assumed your position. If you'll be able to somehow know what kinds of people there are in your new congregation, I feel that you'll have a real sense of belongingness--a family feel, if you will--which will immensely help you in easily adjusting to your new environment and new role in the community. As much as possible, try your very best to open up to them and to make them know that you're someone whom they can easily trust and turn to when they're in dire need of help. Most importantly, i feel that you should always communicate with your husband and honestly tell him what you're feeling, since, after all, you're both in this new journey together. You must help and support each other at all times, since I feel that if you'll truly be together on this, you'll both find it very easy to adjust and enjoy the roles that you'll assume. Ultimately, though, just completely believe in yourself and your inherent resilience. Just bear in your mind and heart that you'll surely be the best minister's wife, and I am more than certain that if you'll fully believe in what you think and feel, the whole universe will conspire to make your dream come true. If you could, jen_jen, try to re-read the desiderata, if you haven't read it yet. As it aptly suggests, do not compare yourself to others for you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. In the end, it fittingly instructs, strive to be happy. Good luck!

Hi Jen_Jen i am genny how are you? When i was in the college i almost have a boyfriend of a Theology student. I told myself i cant be a minister`s wofe. I know how hard to be one but you can do it. I observe to some of our Pastor`s wife and i can give you some tips. I deal with different kinds of people i also can give you some info. Well as a minister`s wife you really be active of all church activities. Seminars, camp meetings and others. You can give an advice to an older person than yourself just pray that God will help you. Usually the wife of a pastor can help the husband to promote because the wife do lots of things for the ministry. Be a good pastor`s wife. Love your church show them that you are interested to help eventhough you are just young. The last thing i can say is buy a book about the pastor`s wife and read it, or research in the internet i think there are a lot here in internet.

Hi Jen, I can feel for you because I am a young pastor's wife as well (just turned 27) and I was 23 when we took our first church (still there). The only way any of us ladies to be a good pastor's wife is first and formost put God first in your life and your husband second. Never try to do it like everyone else, be yourself; sometime older ladies don't need advice, they simply need a listening ear; find an older pastor's wife that you have confidence in and get tips from her; and always remember that Jesus will always be there for you when you need to cry.

You will be fine. One thing you can do is ask the older women for advice and help when you need it. They want you to be the best that you can be and most of the older ladies in a church are always willing to lend a helping hand. Allow God to guide you and you will do just fine. No one expects you to be perfect, only to do your very best. With God as your guide, you will find that you will always have the help you need when you need it. I will pray for you.

Oh Jen_Jen, I feel for you! I don't know exactly how you feel, but I have tried many times to put myself in the pastor's wifes shoes. That is not an easy place to be. There are so very many expectations of the Pastor's Wife these days. I am 50 years old and I understand how you would struggle with helping an older woman if they had problems. Wow... I do know one thing, you will be fine! Allow the older women to be mentors to you. I'm sure there are some in your new church who would count it a blessing to mentor you! Please keep me posted. I'd love to hear how you are doing and hey, maybe I could be your email mentor! My name is Renae, been a Christian for 15 years and will put you on my prayer list!! God never gives us more than we can handle. I know you will be just fine! Renae

You have a tough job ahead of you. Just be yourself and you cant go wrong. I have a friend who's husband is a minister and sometimes people are not very nice to her. Just do what you can,ask for help if you need it,and pray a whole lot.lol. Maybe a mentoring program where an older lady helps to mentor a younger one might work in your Church. Good luck you guys are serving the Lord in a fantastic way. I'll pray for you and your ministry. P.S. Our ministers wife doesnt play the piano either,but we still love her.