Do you think younger sibblings get more of an advantage?

@KaseyLah (142)
Canada
May 23, 2007 10:33pm CST
They always put my little brother before me, especially my mom. My mom buys whatever the hell he wants. He's only 2 years younger. I was his age once, Why didnt i get the treatment he did? He swears at my mom, even on mothers day he did. I think my mom hates me though, whenever she makes dinner. She always yells " Simon ( my brother ) come and eat, and she leaves me out, that really irritates me. My dad on the other hand, thinks i torture my stupid brother because he always sees me hitting my stupid brother and he doesnt see/hear him cursing and etc at me? Is that fair? Do you think younger sibblings get more of an advantage?
6 people like this
18 responses
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
24 May 07
Unfortunately they usually do. The reason your mother calls your brother to dinner is probably because she knows your smart enough to know that it's time to eat. He's probably usually caught up in a game or tv or something distracting him. Parent's seem to always see the wrong things at the wrong time don't they? It's not fair but it's the way life is.
@KaseyLah (142)
• Canada
24 May 07
Well, not really. Im always in the living room, my brother is always roaming around the house somewhere. but yeah I agree, they always see things at the wrong time.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
24 May 07
i know lots of friends who are in such a situation, too. where parents only see the wrong things in them. and it's really unfair. i hope some parents also see the good side of their kids. if so, life and family relationships could have been better.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 May 07
I don't know if that is always the case. I think in a lot of situations, older siblings think the younger ones get more attention and are more liked and assume they always get what they want when that isn't the case. I think some kids (and I'm not saying this is your case) overreact to the younger sibling and are upset because they feel the attention and the love (especially in the form of gifts) is taken away from them. Studies have shown first children actually get more attention and parental time than people really think (this was in one of my college textbooks). So I think for the most part, younger siblings are treated equally or just the same as older.
2 people like this
@KaseyLah (142)
• Canada
24 May 07
I think if its in print, its probly true And I also agree with that younger siblings are upset and get what they want(eg. a toy)But I still think younger siblings get the advantage, thats my point of view but peoples thoughts differ from person to person.
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
24 May 07
In some ways, younger siblings can get more of an advantage - my younger siblings got more allowance (over the years) and other advantages. On the other hand, I got the car to myself for a few years because I learned to drive first. (Although I had to drive them around, too) And I got the better room. And even now, my parents listen to me and treat me like an adult, but they still tell my sibs what to do, even though they aren't very much younger than I am, and I was treated like an adult when I was their age. I don't think your mom hates you. Maybe you are more reliable, and so she doesn't feel the need to remind you about dinner. I know when I was a teen, my mom didn't always call me to dinner because sometimes I was working on something important and she didn't want to disturb me.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 May 07
In some way I guess younger siblings would have a better advantage only because when you are a parent for the first time it is a time of trial and error . No parent will ever be perfect but one can learn from their mistakes . Also as parents become older they seem to be more leanient because they are either too tired of having to deal with an issue or just realize more that some things are not worth fighting over as their are worse that could be going on .
1 person likes this
@toe_ster (770)
• United States
24 May 07
I agree with this comment. I have been in this place before. I have experienced both sides. I am a #5 of 6 kids. Sometimes favortism is shown because htat is the baby of the family. You wanna try and make up for things or do all the right things or give in, because it is the baby. But there are many good sides to being the oldest. You get to have the younger siblings jealousy of you being older. You get to do everything first. You get more responsibilities (good or bad) You can do things they cannot. I am sorry you are feeling the way you do.
@lightningMD (5931)
• United States
24 May 07
I think at times the babies of the family are more spoiled. I am the baby and I know I was spoiled.My sblings were 9 and 5 years older than me though. It sounds like your brother has no respect for your mother.That could be because she doesnt ever tell him no. Maybe she is trying to buy his love and respect with gifts. I suggest trying to ignore your brothers bad behavior. Some day he will be forced to grow up and hopefully mature.Dont hit him back any more just get up and walk away. This will bug the heck out of him.
1 person likes this
@renyissac (182)
• India
24 May 07
Yes younger gets a more advantage .. I am the youngest in my home
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
24 May 07
i do not think it is fair. after all, you both are their kids and that you two should be fairly treated. i am the eldest in the family and i have two younger brothers. but i don't feel favoritism in the family. there's no rivalry between us siblings as we are very close to each other. i hope that you get to talk to your parents about that issue so, you can resolve things together. or else, you will end up always feeling low and pittying yourself.
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
25 May 07
Maybe you should sit your parents down either together or one at a time and let them know how you feel. I would also ask your mom why she always leaves you out when it comes dinner time. That just doesn't seem right to me, but maybe she isn't thinking that she is hurting you. It could be all a misunderstanding. You will never fix things unless you talk with them about everything, and then go from there. Good luck with everything, I do hope it all works out in the end.
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
25 May 07
Well, I'm a middle child, so my oldest brother and baby sister got the better end of the deal. Me and my middle older brother didn't get a car when we turned 16, we always joked that we were the black sheep. Now that my oldest brother has royally screwed up, he's lucky if he see's a penny after my parents die. My sister is married to crap, but she hasn't screwed up as bad as my brother has. Now with my kids, I treat them both equally. I do admit I have more pictures of my oldest than I do of my youngest. I learned fast that both my kids pick on each other equally. Now I do get on to my oldest when she plays rough because she's 5 years and so many months older. I won't tolerate neither of my kids disrespecting me. Your mom shouldn't either. You should talk to your mom and dad about how you feel. My dad didn't actually see the full picture until it was to late, almost 9 years ago, my middle brother was murdered. Not saying something could happen to you. But as parents we don't get younger and one day we won't be here to show our kids how much we love them and how proud we are.
@soadnot (1606)
• Canada
24 May 07
no, i actually think that older sibs get more of an advantage because, although there are many responsibilities that they have, the first kid is always much loved in the family.
24 May 07
My brother is four years younger than me and during childhood he was always getting his own way while I, as the oldest, had to put up with his antics as I was supposed to be the *responsible* one. As the years passed, the situation remained the same, and even now my parents will always give my brother whatever he wants while I go without. My brother is now 51 and STILL gets everything from my parents :-(
1 person likes this
@eanna13 (133)
• United States
24 May 07
Growing up I was the younger one. I wasn't the one better off. my sister would do things and get me blamed for them!!! I hated her (at that time).
@aprilsong (1884)
• China
25 May 07
I do think parents treat younger children better than the older ones.But obviously your parents are too partial to your brother.Is it because they prefer boys than girls?Or just because he is younger than you?I feel sorry for what you said.I do think parents should be fair to treat their children.Maybe your parents just pay more attention on a younger kid,thinking he need more care.Maybe they will change after he gets a little older.And i think maybe you should talk with your parents carefully.To tell them your feelings.
• Philippines
25 May 07
same as here, they really love my younger sister...I don't know maybe my sister is much better than me
@JcHitomi (100)
• Nepal
24 May 07
Yeah they always do, our youngest gets the most atttention of all, my parents is so sensitive to her needs even it is not a bid deal at all. I complain as well my other siblings but my mother always tells me that we are old enough and doesnt deserve the attention. Yeah shes 10 years old now and she has the most care, updating thing of all times. I feel also that she is the most favorite of the family. huhuh Good thing im not the jealous type sister but sometimes I feel INEQUALITY. hehehhe
@777330975 (331)
• Sri Lanka
24 May 07
Well it goes both ways. I am the elder one in my family. Many a times I have felt that my sister had the advantage, she was very demanding as well. But it was then,now when I look back since I was the first I was given opportinuty to try out things, I have done and got somany things taht my sister does not have, and tried. So its just a perception that I think we have. All kids are treated equally by parents. Think of all the good things happend in like because you being the elder one. Always think positively.
@katkat3 (425)
24 May 07
Do you know whatI'm the eldest of 6 and I can't believe what my younger brothers and sisters get away with murder! It's shocking. I was never allowed out wearing 'that skirt!' yet my sister gets away with wearing the shortest skirts, boy did I get it hard compared to them. I suppose that because I'm the first it was like learning for my mum, now she's a bit more relaxed. But it's so unfair!!!! :0)
@latsmom (824)
24 May 07
Well I used to be bothered by this, my little siser always had more attention than me and even if she did something naughty my mom would always tell me off saying I must have told her to do so. When my little brother cam e along years later I did not feel the same towards him. I have got to say though I am glad that I am the eldest adn was pushed out a bit as I am able to cope with a lot more and do not rely on my parents for anything where as my sister stil does, My brother is still young so would not be fair to include him, plus he has had numerous operations and is so brave. Although at the moment it does seem hard you will find in the future that you will be able to deal with things much better than your brother as I do. my mom did a lot of similar things and even told me that I was not her child on one occasion but that my sister was. I was so hurt at the time. But although single I do now have a child of my own and remember all teh things my mom did and said when I was young and feel now that that makes me a better mom and stronger person.