Why is Being Called "Too Nice" an Insult?

No, I don't think it is a compliment at all. I have been called that too often. My husband is always fussing at me for being nice to people. I just treat others how I want to be treated and until they do something to hurt me or break my trust I will continue to treat others with kindness. I know that I used to be taken advantage of a lot because of it, so now I am just not as giving as I used to be, but I still like people and will continue being me. You are who you are urbangirl. There is also the saying that men like to quote, "Nice guys finish last". I don't believe it for a bit. I think they are just more sensitive and are hurt more often. Just my opinion.

It´s pure sarcasm if someone calls you "too nice". Meaning you easily agree with people because you want them to like you. Or you haven´t got the guts to give your genuine point of view because you´re worried of being rejected. I´ve never been called "too nice" but I would take it like you do if I was. And no, I don´t agree with you because I´m "too nice", lol. Dana

I know what you mean. Comments like "you're too nice for your own good" LOL. Not that I get that very often but it is a bit irritating when people say that because they make "nice" sound like a bad thing to be. I don't worry about it - I've been called worse things than nice!

I must confess that I've never been called 'too nice' and am not quite sure whether that is a good or bad thing. I do agree, though, that it does seem to be a backhanded compliment, and, as you point out, does seem to have the implication that the person thinks you are a bit simple. However, I'd rather people were too nice, than nasty!

I do not think it is a compliment either. It implies that you are naive, or too gullible. I would not mind people calling me very nice, but too nice would not make me happy

It is not an insult, and if the person that says that thinks it is an insult, he probably thinks that you might get hurt, because there is no reason to be nice in this serious world. And mybe he also does envy you. So my suggestion to you is, stay nice, and i hope many will be like you.

Of course it depends on HOW they say it, but it probably says more about them than about you. They probably are thinking they couldn't/wouldn't be that nice so they think that you shouldn't be either - makes them look bad! Only you can know if you are feeling good about your choices. That is what matters. People put others down so they can feel they are better. I guess it is easier than actually BEING better.

Is being called "Too Nice" really an insult? Do you think it is possible that the person is meaning to say "Extra Nice"?

I agree. It would be an insult becasue it is like saying you have no backbone and cannot tell people how you trully feel. When someone asks you to do something, do you always say yes even though you cannot? This might be an example of being to nice.

Depending on who says that to me and the situation surrounding it, I may take it as an insult or a compliment. I consider myself to be a very nice person. But, at the same time, I have to watch not becoming a doormat and allowing people to walk all over me. If I don't respect myself, then no one else will. It is amazing to me how many people will knowingly or unknowingly run over you, take advantage, or down right manipulate you if you let them.

I think those people are cynics & ought to be ignored. Perhaps by being "too nice" you sometimes get suckered into doing something you don't want to do, but so long as you are careful you can avoid anthing that might get you in trouble or is dangerous.

Yeah, I feel the same way about you about people saying things of that sort. They thin they're so better. And they would probably include a curl lip when saying "you're too nice". Personally, I don't get offended when someone says that to me. It actually makes me feel a better person and makes me look down on the person saying it. I mean, I know that I'm not at all THAT nice and if someone thinks I'm too nice, it makes me think that their personality isn't a lot to be desired. Sort of like, the devil thinking Hitler is too nice. LOL.

I really don't see being called "nice" as an insult....but people sure do have some wrong ideas though about me...for instance...for some reason people seem to feel the need to use "polite" language around me...if they want to use even a mild dirty or cuss word, they say "Pardon my French, but..." ( Uh,just why is it that saying anyway )---and proceed saying the word..I laugh at this since I'm not exactly tight lipped ...I can out curse a truck driver--LOL--and very outspoken and blunt to begin with--but I see you 're point...I just take it in stride...

Well, the 1st thing I wanna say is that u have 2 really examine WHY this statement makes u feel "suckered", or "put down". When did u 1st feel this way, in your life? WHY does this PARTICULAR question "trigger" these feelings in u? I say that EVERYTHING is about U, NOT the other person! So, more important than THEIR statement, is YOUR REACTION 2 it! I believe that NO ONE can "make" us feel "bad"! If we have a "negative" REACTION 2 something someone says 2 us, it's because we ALREADY BELIEVE that ourselves! We RESONATE with the statement! So, the person who SAYS it, is merely REINFORCING what we already believe about ourselves! It's NOT about whether the statement is "true" or not! It's simply about our REACTION...our BELIEF in the statement! We ONLY get upset when we ALREADY think, WHATEVER it is that is being said ("mirrored") BACK 2 us! If u truly DIDN'T believe ANY of the statement, deep down, u wouldn't have the emotional reaction that u do. The words would simply "roll" off of u, like "water off a duck's back"! So, why do U associate being "2 nice" with being a "sucker"? Also, what IS "2 nice" anyway? That could mean something DIFFERENT 4 EVERYONE! WHATEVER it means, 2 U, I think u just have 2 ACCEPT yourself the way u r, 100%, AS IS! When u truly accept YOURSELF, and LOVE yourself, COMPLETELY..."the GOOD, the 'bad' & the ugly", then NOTHING that ANYONE says will affect u this way! This doesn't mean that u will AGREE with everyone, or even LIKE everyone, or everyTHING that's said 2 u! U're still HUMAN, so u WON'T like everything! BUT, u will no longer take ANYTHING "personally"! U will simply say 2 yourself (or 2 the person), something 2 the effect of, "Well, that's just YOUR opinion, and that's ALL it is...an OPINION"! As long as your opinion about YOURSELF is DIFFERENT, u won't care what someone else says, 1 way or the other! U'll just know that they're probably someone that u DON'T wanna associate with, unless u like enough OTHER things about them! But, if they constantly say things 2 u that u DON'T like and/or appreciate, then u'll simply make a decision 2 DISTANCE yourself from them! I think it's FINE 4 u 2 be "nice". Just make sure that your "niceness" doesn't transform u into a "doormat" or a MARTYR, unless, of course, u don't MIND being either 1 of those things! Also, when someone says "2 nice" 2 u, u have 2 "weigh" it, and discern whether they R intending 2 "insult" u, OR if it's someone who really CARES about u, has your BEST INTEREST at heart, and simply observes u being disrespected, un or UNDERappreciated, and taken 4 granted. Only U can determine which it is! I feel what u're saying, though. Like I said, work on FULLY loving and accepting YOURSELF! Then this topic won't matter anymore! SELF love is the KEY!

I think i understand this. I work in a max security prison and we say they are being superficialy nice, it means when someone is being overly nice it is not sincere blessed be

Well in my case, I will think that it is out respect for the things that i've done to somebody.

I won't care a dime if a person says I am being too nice. I am what I am and I don't want to be someone else. I just hate being sarcastic, it is not in my blood. I like talking in a nice, civilized way. My parents taught me to be nice and I agree that being nice brings back nice people to us. If there are some nasty people who try to make me be nasty as they are, I will say something nasty to them, and to them only. This way they will realize that being nasty is not the way to make friends. That's what I think. Thanks.

In a sense it is an insult. I have been called to nice and maybe I use to be, but I am not anymore. What they are really trying to say is that you are gullible, easy to take advantage of, a door mat, spineless, and perhaps you have low self-esteem. These are all the things that people use to say to me. I started to agree with them and just as I did, I started to get fed up. I speak my mind now. I tell people what I want and what I feel. I don't bite my tongue for very many people. Especially, since I learned about being passive-aggressive.

I have people calling me too nice as well. That means I've done it right. I feel good about it. Especially those people in the office. When they say you are too nice in a not too nice way or like you may feel put down, you know why? Because they are the evil ones who is not ethical or does thing in the correct manner. They just love to put you down. If the other party wants to help using true heart, sure, I will listen but not those people whom sounds as though they are trying to put you down. They are the worst people on earth and God will punish them so I normally ignore them. Tell you what... they hated me if I ignore them and treat them like transparent. They just want the attention which I refuse to give them.

I suppose it is only an insult if the reciever percieve it as such. Now you have taken it out of context and it is difficult to really comment on it as it stands. Maybe if one knew a bit more of this conversation we would be able to see wether the person saying you are too nice, mean it as an insult or as a compliment. Too nice to me, is usually something good. :)