Mom loves me best - not!

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So...let's talk about playing favorites, shall we? My own mother has always made it crystal clear that I am the last person she wants anything to do with. She made this really clear when I was little and she hasn't wavered in her opinion no matter what I do. I have two younger sisters. The middle sister was always Mom's favorite. All that changed though when the youngest got married to a man who made "good money". She became Mom's favorite. They divorced and she got remarried to a man who made even more "good money" than her first husband. My mother is so obsessed with her and what she has that she could blow up the Sears Tower and my mother would defend her for it and say she was justified to do it. For the most part, this doesn't affect me. Every once in a while, a big stab will come my way, but usually it's not a problem. My younger sister is having a baby shower for a baby she and her husband just adopted. I was told (told, mind you, never asked) that I was co-hosting this shower along with my mom, middle sister and my younger sister's mother-in-law. My sister, let's call her HRH for Her Royal Highness, shall we? Anyways, HRH decided she wanted her baby shower at the local super expensive country club, since she and her husband are members there, the room would be free of charge. Ok, that's good, since we're on a moderate income. But HRH didn't let me know that all of the food would be catered by the country club and HRH picked the menu out herself and I'm being handed a bill. I bought some things for the baby before his birth and HRH had a fit. I still don't know why. My guess is that she felt I wasn't going to present her with anything at the shower. My middle sister emailed me with a "VIP LIST" of things that me, my parents and HRH's husband's side of the family were to buy things from for HRH. I didn't buy anything off the list. I did buy a lot of clothes, a specific line that HRH really wanted. I also bought a few toys. I have spent quite a bit of money. Once the baby was born, I bought him more things as a welcome home thing. While there, HRH was whining how she didn't have a changing pad for downstairs and she hoped SOMEONE was getting this for her at her shower, since she was so tired of having to change the baby on her bed (they had been home 1 day). So when I left their house, I went to Target, where she is registered, and bought her the changing pad, along with some other things that weren't on the registry, and took it to her. She hasn't spoken to me since then. I am such a horrible, terrible person for buying her son all these things, aren't I? I'm being so awful, treating HRH as though she can't afford to buy these things herself. That's what she told me. I swear. HRH decided it'd be "fun" if the shower was co-ed. She also decided that our middle sister and me will bring our children to the shower so that her own child and stepchildren won't be bored at the shower. She did make it clear that she didn't want anyone else's children there at the shower, just ours. Then HRH decided she didn't want a co-shower anymore. HRH chose the invitations and I ordered and paid for them. HRH gave me a printed list of everyone invited and their addresses. I had 2 days to mail them, because HRH refused to give me the list until the last possible minute. On this list, she has written down that my sister's husband and my husband will be attending. I blew it off. She was missing 3 addresses and told me to email her mother-in-law for them. So I did and I received the reply. The addresses were Mr & Mrs & Family, but I figured since HRH told me to ask her mother-in-law for these addresses, that this is something the two of them had previously discussed. No problem. All of the invitations got mailed out right on schedule. Of course, when I mentioned this to my sisters and my mother, nothing is said, subject changed. Did I mention that I had to come up with the invitation wording, get HRH's approval, configure it on my computer and then print each invitation on my printer? Did I mention that I wrote each envelope out? I have 2 children. Both times my sisters and my mother can't be bothered to make any kind of effort to make either shower halfway decent. My first shower consisted of a gathering of my mother's friends in a really crummy restaurant. Some of my coworkers didn't get invitations, although I was told they were invited. Did I throw a fit? No. My second shower was held at MY home. I basically threw my own shower. But for HRH, it's country club, fancy food catered, fancy invites, special printing, etc. Yes I am a total idiot. When I was told I was co-hosting I should have said NO. Today, while I'm having central air installed in my home & my home is busy with workers, my mother calls. She is very, very angry and yelling at me, wanting to know why my uncle's name is on my grandmother's invitation. It isn't. She doesn't believe me. I guess she's too lazy to go over to her mother's house, one block away, to look at the envelope. It's so much more fun to dial my number and start yelling at me for something I didn't do and then tell me that she doesn't believe me. Then I get yelled at because HRH's father called his own son to ask why 3 family members had "and family" invited to the shower. She was completely and totally angry, her voice was shaking. I explained and then I let her know that she had no right to yell at me - at which time, of course, she denied ever being angry. That's the way it always is. One of them has something going wrong in their life, they dial my number, nitpick at me for things I didn't do and when I try to defend myself, they say they're not angry. I emailed my sister and let her know that I do not need this and that if she had a question about how I addressed the invitations, she can be a grown up and talk to me herself. I also let her know that if this is the way she is going to treat me and the way my mother is going to treat me, then she can count me out of the shower. Wait! As if this wasn't enough, it gets better. My daughter's birthday is Tuesday. I email my sisters & my parents about her bday, ask to get together on Sunday. HRH is upset because she won't have her stepchildren that day but she will have them on Tuesday. Middle sister has to work until 4pm Sunday. I decide no one wants to eat cake right before dinner on Sunday. I ask HRH if she & her family want to go out for dinner on Tuesday. She has to check with her husband, she says. So I email again, saying we're going to dinner Tues 5-5:30pm and cake at our house afterwards if anyone wants to come. HRH doesn't like the restaurant my daughter chose, so they're not coming. Middle sister just flat out declines and then says they'll come for cake but it will be a very short visit since the kids have school the next day. My daughter wants everyone over and wants a party, wants to spend time with her cousins & be able to play. So how do I tell her that her aunts don't want this? How do I tell her that no matter what date or time I try to schedule her party, her aunts just don't want anything to do with it? I thought about sending a third email out, asking if Monday at 1pm would be ok. Then I got so upset while typing it that I cancelled it. Now this has happened with my mother and HRH and I don't even want them over here anyways. I'm just going to try to fill this long weekend with things to do so she doesn't even realize we're not having a party. Hopefully that works. And if any of them show up Tuesday night, that's fine - at least they won't be here long.