Choose: Career first or have a child first. Why?
By happymom1
@happymom1 (1179)
United States
May 25, 2007 9:14pm CST
Life has lots of choices to choose. Sometimes we are confuse of what choice we want to made. I ask this question because there are lots of people or woman that make a choice to have a career first before having a baby. They want to finish first their career and have a child afterwards. Its happening to me i have a baby first before my career. I love my son and i will take care of him and my husband.
6 people like this
17 responses
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
26 May 07
I had my children first now until they are a little older i am putting my career on hold. I love each and everyone of my kids and wouldnt give them up for the world but i wish i had put a little more thought into having a career before having them. My hubby works but it dont seem to be enough any more with the rising cost of everything, so i have been just doing part time jobs untill the kids are older then i intend to go back to school and get a degree in something i really havent put a whole lot of thought into it, but had i had myself on my way with my career before having kids then i would know that i need not worry as much as i do about money and stuff like that.
@happymom1 (1179)
• United States
26 May 07
yes true but my husband doesnt want me to work so just at home all the time.
1 person likes this
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
26 May 07
I would choose my children before a career any day . My children mean more to me then anything else in the world and I would do anything for them . I was working a few months ago and it was stressing my children out me not being with them . Since my children were born , I had not worked much and most of what I did , I was able to take them to work with me but this time I was working at a market research firm and was not able to take my children with me and three out of five of them were very upset about it , so I ended up resigning until they are better able to handle this .
2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
26 May 07
I don't plan to have children, and my partner agrees with me. We don't want children, we are going to focus on our careere and our lives. Not everyone is meant to have children, nor should they be expected to have children. People need to do what works best for them.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
26 May 07
Actually, having my child motivated me to think more about my career, in a way. Before that I mostly thought of my job as a job, and wasn't even sure that banking was the career I wanted. But since I've had my son, I've been thinking about the future more, because I want to be able to take care of him properly.
So now I have a lot of plans when it comes to career: at which point I'm going to be back to school, what my first promotion bid will be, what position I eventually want to reach, what training I need to get there. I might be a bank teller now, but someday I plan to be a lot more than that, and having Dusty is part of what sparked my ambition.
2 people like this
@lirael (501)
• Philippines
29 May 07
I have chosen my career first. It wouldn't be a nice idea to raise a kid if we are financially unstable. I don't want us to just "get by". Like any parent, I want my kids to have the very best that I can provide them. And so I have to prepare for that time.
1 person likes this
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
26 May 07
I think it would be wiser to get a career first. You'll have some money saved, you'll be able to support a baby better. And once you start a career and work somewhere for a long time the people there will understand that you'll need time with a new baby.
It could get hectic trying to start a career AFTER having a baby because you'll be juggling taking care of the baby and searching for a job. You'll get really stressed and feel more rushed.
But if you make your career first, than you won't have anything to juggle. You'll be used to your job when the baby comes, you might have money to get a little extra help, and you can spend equal time with your job and baby without getting stressed out.
@Sir_bobby88 (8231)
• Singapore
27 May 07
Depend on the fiance in family , if fiance allows us to have a child first why not ? But sometimes having a child can be really tired taking care them yea
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
26 May 07
One factor that ways into this discussion is the reality that you only know the present. When you start down one path (home or career) you really have no basis for saying what you will want to do in five years. We change every year. New ideas, desires and circumstances will all play into the decision.
I think there are pros and cons to both ways. I firmly believe that the wife/mother role is the most important. My wife worked (music teacher) for 9 years before we were able to have our first child. The advantage of gaining some work experience after college is that you can later pick up on that experience.
There is always a chance that if you start with career, you may never feel you want to give it up. There is a comfort level with the known and there may also be financial pressures to keep working.
There is no reason that a mom who has stayed at home cannot start working in some area of interest later.
Changes in life can be challenging no matter which way you are changing.
Hope you find peace and contentment in your decisions.
Have a wonderful day.
@kayrod2 (1304)
• Australia
28 May 07
I chose to have a child before a career, and have been raising my children for 20 years and have a few years left. I have had some jobs during this time as well. I am now looking at career more as my youngest is at school. I hope my children will get a career first though. It isnt that i regret my choice, but i think you need something behind you and have a stable life.
Best wishes to you, happymom
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
26 May 07
Having a kid was the biggest motivator for me to get off my rear and make something useful out of my life. Before she came along, I dreamed of a real career, put just puttered around waiting and postponing my life. She has helped me get focused and stay on track. If i want to know what I'm looking for, I just have to look across the room. Working and making money is often just as important a job as a mom as doing the regular household mom duties; cause you're helping your family acheive a financial stability that it might not have had otherwise. Some women are lucky enough to have the option of being completely a stay at home mom with no outside job or home business. I've always seen working and owning my own business as a chance to help my family stay financially solvent. My family, husband and child will always be my first and most important priority and knowing that my work can help feed us and keep us living in a nice home is all the motivation i need to keep working even when I get tired.
1 person likes this
@seashore124 (48)
• China
27 May 07
I think if you have not passed 35 the best pregnant time you can choose career.Because you have enough time.But if you almost or will passed,you should choose have a child.So that you can have a beautiful and smart chhld.You do want your child is better.Right?
1 person likes this
@bestaaron (16)
• China
27 May 07
It's very simply,If you believe that a child won't effect your career life, then go ahead!
1 person likes this
@Lysh143 (1)
• United States
27 May 07
I started with the career. I didn't have my first child until I was 28. After she was born my "career" went out the window and was replaced by motherhood. It's now been 2 years since I have stepped foot in the "workforce" and I love being the "mommy" person.
1 person likes this
@intheplane (145)
• China
26 May 07
Diffienert people have diffienert views.If me,I will make a choice to have a career first before haveing a baby that can afford my economy~
@KaraLee (460)
• United States
26 May 07
I dont know if I would say CAREER first, but more get college out of the way first, then have kids. But thats just for me, everyone is different. I know that some of my family have gone into accounting, then had kids, and decided they want to work with kids instead and gone back to school and gotten teaching degrees, so with certain people I Think becoming a parent kind of moulds a new career for them.
1 person likes this
@CarmelLove (145)
• United States
26 May 07
i choose to have my kids before my career. You can never stoplearnong, but being able to enjoy your kids growing up and be able to play with them more seem to be more motivation for me.
1 person likes this