Does your significant other go through your stuff?

My ex-wife used to go through my wallet quite often to look for well anything incriminating I guess. She was extremely jealous and strangely enough she was the one who was having an affair. Granted girls used to flirt with me a lot and I had to flirt back (it's the music biz don't cha know..they are fans) but I never actually did anything. I've noticed that those who are having affairs are often the most jealous.

hello babygurl... i always have issues like this before but i didnt know why i didnt thought of posting a discussion about this. LOL anyways, yeah.. my bf is into checking my stuffs. i dont mind when he do this before cos i thought he's just interested to know what im up to. but when we started to have an argument when i refuse to show him some things, it started to annoy me. i am a very private person and i like my things by myself only. its alwyas been my attitude. bt i dont want to end up in another fight about it so i just keep things that i dont want to be asked. (i dont like being asked sometimes...) me going thru his things. yeah, i do it. i think its being a girl. being curious. yeah, i have found some bad stuffs. and some that can lead to separation. i dont want to confront him about it cos it will end up being my fault because im going thru his things which i know is bad in the first place. so whatever it is that i found, i just keep it to myself. or if it bothers me big time, ill just find a way to tell it to him without my knowledge about it being questioned. hehhe.. i feel so crazy about this.. i know im crazy about not telling him everything. its not like im hiding something from him. i just dont like being asked. im having a hard time answering him because english is my second language and i know leaving one word out means a lot. well... i dont know if im just trying to justify why i dont like to do it but why i like to do it to him. either way.. heheh.. but i know im mean, no question about that

my partner doesnt look my emails or my phone as he doesnt have any interest in either. and he trusts me when comes to be online. and he knows if i was to do something someone will tell him because just about everyone i speak to knows him lol.

I posted a similar discussion some time ago: how about your curious partner... There is common stuff, there is private one. Whatever the reasons are, for me this checking is inadmissible!!! No excuses to do it! This is lack of trust and disrespect of my private teritory, so the usual reaction of mine will be very sharp.Even when i have nothing to hide, i am the person who makes the decision what,when and if to share.

I never used to go through my hubby's mails,cell phone etc in the past because it did not occur to me me to. I trusted him . However,about 2 years ago, I just happen to go through some photos that he had in his laptop and I found that he actually had pics of another woman . That was when I found out that he was unfaithful to me. From then on I did not trust him anymore, and up to now ,I still do check his stuff to make sure he's not doing things behind my back again.

No, we never check each other's stuff. I trust him and he trusts me. It's kind of funny, he hurt his back the other day at work and the bottle of aspirin was in my purse. I told him to get the white bottle out of my purse in the kitchen and take a couple. He walked into the livingroom carrying my whole purse and handed it to me. He won't get in my purse even when I tell him to! He says it gives him the shivers. I just looked at him and laughed. All I could think of was his mother must have chewed him out something awful for getting into her purse when he was a kid or something. We borrow each others phones all the time, we just kind of grab whichever one is handy and charged up. If he were to ever start checking up on me, I'd know we were finished. Period. First of all, when a guy starts checking up on you or accusing you of doing something wrong, then it's usually him that's feeling guilty about something. Second, if you can't trust your mate, then what's the point of being together? Too much stress to be uncertain and doubtful all the time. I couldn't and wouldn't deal with it.

no we respect each other's privacy, and we trust each other implicitely

Your question has tricky issues related with individuality and relationship! If your relationship has the base of trust and love then there is no need to see or show such things!

I'll be the first to admit it...I check his stuff. He doesn't know I do. A woman on his myspace leaves him racy comments almost everyday. I wanted to know what the deal was since she's pretty high up on his friends list too. So far after at least 6 months of this their myspace messages are pretty innocent, you know the "hey how you doin" type stuff. A few conversations on messenger have been "questionable" with her saying things like she'd like to meet him and she wishes he was there but they all stopped several months ago and they only message back and forth on myspace now occasionally. She lives an 1 1/2 away from him/us and as of last check (this afternoon as a matter of fact) they haven't met and there are no plans to meet.

My partner doesn't check my phone or anything, but it wouldn't be an issue if he did. We have an unspoken agreement that we have permission to check each others emails, phones, Myspace (I don't have Myspace) and blogs, even facebook accounts. We know the passwords for each others email addresses, we know the pass codes for each others voicemail accounts, and we know the login information for our respective bank accounts. We rarely, if ever check anything. In fact, the only time I go into my partners email account is if he's working and he calls asking me to check for him if he's expecting an email from someone. We both have nothing to hide, we're totally open and honest, and we're secure knowing that.

No Mike never goes through any of my personals such as emails, phone ect but I have nothing to hide and he is always more than welcome to look anytime. I would have to say that I'm the one to look into his emails, listen to his messages ect ect

I admit I am guilty of this. I checked my wifes cell phone text messages and found out she was having an affair. Just a word of warning to all that you may not want to find what it is you are looking for. cheers,

I do. lol. I check my boyfriend's email,his friendster account, tagged account...and his cellphone. And he does the same thing.

my boyfriend and i try to maintain a little privacy in our relationship. but sometimes, and this sometimes is rare, i do check his cellphone and he mine:P i don't know, probably its more about being curious about the messages we each save in our inboxes, LOL!

My husband doesn't go thru my emails and such, but he could if he wanted to. I have nothing to hide, so it doesn't bother me. He trusts me, though, so he doesn't bother. Most of my cell calls and texts are from him, anyway. lol He doesn't care if I check his email or cell, either, but I don't bother. I trust him. I'm lucky if I get around to checking my own email, much less checking his. :D

No, my wife and I have no need to check into what each other is into. We have complete trust and respect for each other so that is not an issue.

No my husband has never got hrough my stuff. He trusts me...he teases me sometimes about my "boyfriend" but he knows I wouldn't cheat or anything like that! The only thing I might hide is money so I can go out to eat if I want to =) Terrible I know!! He has always been really trusting I don't know why exactly, he is just that way I guess. I have gone through his stuff, his phone and wallet, never found anything so I didn't look again =) I think he has looked through my cell phone before, just looking for numbers to call someone.

My ex-boyfriend used to check all my e-mail accounts, friendster account, ym account, cellphone inbox and sent items, even the call log. Everything. At first it was kind of sweet but then it just gets annoying. He checks without letting me know and he starts an argument when someone sends me messages. I am not guilty of anything but it really gets into my nerves when he freaks out over some stranger's messages and stuff which is just friendly messages. Anyway, we're already history but not because of it. :)

this is a jealousy thing trust me I am just getting out of a reltionship where that was a problem. Also just cause you don't mind him doing that cause you have nothing to hide, is great but him doing that just to see is a form of trust which looks like he has none for you. Even if you are not doing anything him going trough your stuff is a form of control. Hope things work out for you.

I don't check my girlfriend's stuff, but she wouldn't mind me doing, because she has nothing to hide either. My girlfriend doesn't check my stuff either, but then again, I wouldn't care if she did.