More strict or more lenient? / myLot

United States

May 26, 2007 9:56am CST

So, here's my question. Are you, as a parent, stricter than your parents were with you or are you more lenient? Now, I'm the parent and I find myself being stricter than my mother was. I screen shows before I will let my children watch them, I screen movies, I listen to the music before they do, I choose the clothes they can wear. But I do this because I think there has been a backward slide in entertainment and style. I will not let my daughter wear a bikini. Why? I don't think it is appropriate for a young girl to be walking around showing that much of her body. I think that is just an invitation for pediphiles. She also will not be allowed to wear micro-minis or skin tight blue jeans. I do not think that is appropriate. But it's not just my daughter, it's my son's as well. They do not have little toy soldiers. Daddy was a soldier and that's as much of the military as we want them to see. They do not have toy guns, because we are teaching them that guns are tools, not toys. We watch what they wear and what they do. Our house is devoid of a video game machine and the children are not allowed on the internet and don't even have computer games. Learn to use books and the library. I'm not a prude, I'm not extremely conservative, I'm just a parent concerned for the welfare of my children. This is just how myself and my husband are raising our children. We are doing what we think is best. What are other parent's doing?

2 responses

dixits

@dixits (104)

• India

26 May 07

i think it should be equal but should be there my parents rae not strict and sometimes we also need freedom but sometime we dont realise it we cross the limit so both should be there as far i am concerend i would be equal to my kids.

mabelsweety

@mabelsweety (2)

• United States

28 Dec 08

I think thats CRAZY! How about when your children go to college and are FINALLY free ? They're going to loose their minds! Theres a limit to everything, imagine how many things they can be hiding from you... My mother is strict but not that strict, and sadly i have to sneak around everything i do. And I am 16 years old, not 9, 10 or 11. Although you don't believe it, they could be hiding so many things. My mom keeps me indoors 24/7 and i hate it! Sometimes I want to just run away, but she'll find me =/. I think you should give your kids some SPACE.. because you don't want anything bad to happen to them because they had to go behind your back. When ever I become a mother [NO TIME SOON) I'm going to be soo TRUST WORTHY. My children are going to adore me. HOPE tHAt OPENS your MiND a BiT! SINCERELY, 16 & SNEAKY.

mabel214babeee

@mabel214babeee (1)

• United States

28 Dec 08

Keleidescope

@Keleidescope (204)

• United States

26 May 07

You know, I think it's good to be concerned with your children's lives, but I think you should also let them have their freedom. My parents are divorced and I get it from both ends. My mom lets us do whatever we want and my dad is really strict. In a way, I kind of liked both, but sometimes my dad was suffocating. Anyway, I found that people who missed out on things while living with their parents usually make up for it when they're in college. Trust me, that's not something you want your kids to do. I'm not telling you how to raise your kids, but I think you should ease up because kids who aren't exposed to certain things can be vunerable in situations that might come up. Just a suggestion. Anyway, for me, I think I would be strict to a point, but let my kids have some freedom to express themeslves.

momof3inTN

@momof3inTN (89)

• United States

27 May 07

Well, at least we don't have to worry about the dual households with opposing views. We are all in one house and both my husband and myself agree on how we are raising our children. Yes, there are times when being too strict will only make the kids go out and get crazy when they get to college. I don't see that happening with our children. Yes, we are stict but we are also trying to raise them with decent morals and values. I never said that our children wouldn't be exposed to vertain things. Our children are exposed to a lot and as they get older they will be exposed to more and more, depending on their age level and maturity. Just because a child reaches an age where something is allowed, doesn't mean they are mature enough for that (i.e., driving. Just because a child is 16, does not mean that every 16 year old is mature enough to learn to drive a car). Yes, as they get older they will get more freedom, if they have earned it. Nothing should be handed over on a silver platter. Children need to know that they have to work to earn stuff. If my children want more freedom, then they will need to earn it by showing me and my husband that they deserve more freedom. That when we do give them a little more freedom, they do not abuse out trust. That when we do give them a little more freedom, they respect us and themselves enough to do right with that freedom and not disrespect us or disrespect their bodies or disrespect their minds. There is a great difference between being strict to control your child's every move and being strict to teach your child proper behavior, dress, attitude, and morals. If a parent is strict and overbearing to control a child's every move while they are growing up, then yes, I would expect the child to rebel and lash out as soon as they are away from the parents because the parents haven't taught them any better. Our method of being strict is to gradually let go, in small incriments, when they are earned by our children, so that they are better prepared for the world but it is not just thrust upon them all of a sudden when they reach 18.