The Silent Treatment: How Do You Handle It?

In my opinion, you should also keep quiet in this situation, as your hubby do. After few hours, the tension will release and he will cool down. Then you can start talking. Till then try to avoid talking, asking anything etc. If you are firm for few hours, you will see that your hubby is starting the talk first. Silent treatment is the best way of resolving any problem between husband and wife.

oh my goodness, you are describing my husband to a T! when we get into heated arguments, and he doesnt like the way it ended, yes, i get this exact same silent treatment. at first i would get very upset and he would see it. i think that made him feel satisfied, as if he was punishing me. now, i just ignore him right back. i dont let him see that it bothers me. in fact, sometimes i am glad that he isnt talking to me, because frankly, i am not in the mood to talk to him either. the longest we have gone doing the silent treatment to eachother was 2 whole weeks. it was so strange, we wouldnt even make eye contact with eachother. other people who entered our home could sense the tension. it finally ended- when HE apologized to me! *grin*

I think most men are like this during husband and wife disagreements. My husband does that too sometimes. Sometimes it makes me irritated when he acts like this so I also just keep quiet and go on with my chores. Sometimes, I just let him be. After a while, we start talking then that's it. Problem solved.

i will silent, too.

I experience this a lot and it drives me nuts! Sometimes he gives me the silent treatment and I don't even know what I did wrong! What I do is just pray and stay out of his way, cause there's no talking to him. I just have to trust that God will show him that he's straining our marriage.

Yes i also did face this kind of situation but worsen than what you faced.Mine happen about 5 years back when i was expecting my first child(during the 8th month)he stayed with me in the same room but don't talk to me for around 20 days,i keep on asking and he just don't talk.He starts to talk later and then he said he was worried so much(as he's going to be a father)after this incident i ask him to promise me not to do like this ever(or else i'll leave him)Since then he never did the same,we still has a fight but will only stop talking not more than an hour.

Me and my husband used to do this early on in our marriage both of us did when we were stubborn and refused to see eye to eye on certain things but after being together for 17 years married 16 of those years we don't really give the silent treatment anymore we get things off our chest and we do it before bed time so we don't go to bed still fighting. It has done alot for us. I think I quit being this way because of my parents mostly because they still fight like cats and dogs I spent the weekend at their house and they fought all weekend Friday till Sunday ANd I left Sunday. My Step dad is so stubborn but then so is my mom I told them to grow up and and stop the fighting because my dad after awhile he does do the silent treatment thing and so does my mother. And I felt like a referee all weekend and stressed out. Dad won't even eat when he does the silent treatment no matter what is fixed I have seen him do this for days and he will go fix himself something after myt mom clears the kitchen but he doesn't clean up his messes and he stays in his room(they don't share rooms)all day. I told them they need to seek counseling of some type either a professional or maybe since they go to church the pastor. Or even couples group therapy so they can talk to couples who go through it or have gone through it. Because nothing does damage to a marriage more then the silent treatment.

Im quite good at it actually. If my husband does the silent treatment I can out last him and he hates that. I think this comes from being a very sturborn.

I'm a husband ..After a an argument for hours together, I would prefer keep mum for days together . In fact she grunts over matters and my silence goes to an embarassed situation . Of course ,I break the spell of silence in order to prevent things going from bad to worse .

Funny that you should ask this today. My husband and I got into a huge argument yesterday and now I am getting and giving the silent treatment. He left me a note to say that he wants to be free as he isn't sure that he is in love anymore. He is also gone out of town now for a job and we didn't talk before he left. It sucks, but I know that I am the best thing that ever happened to him and he knows it. I love him wholeheartly but he also knows that if he wants out of the marriage, I will let him go. It would kill me but I won't stop him from being out if he thinks he will be happier. However, once he leaves he won't come back when he realizes that he messed up. Usually he does this after we have a huge argument and when I ignore him for a few days, he starts to ask me stuff that he knows that I have to answer. IT drives me crazy and then after a week or so, he is back to normal. I believe men think that this is the best way to deal with their problems and that it bothers us, but I won't allow it to bother me. I am a good wife and mother and if he can't appreciate me for that and love me when I am upset then I guess he needs to move on.

I use that time that he does the silent treatment and enjoy it. I don't let him bother me when he gets like that. It makes him more mad that it doesn't bother me hahaha! I just go about my business as I normally do and treat him no differently. He hates that. Why should I let it bother me? He is the one that is angry, not me.

Actually my husband has never done it, but occasionally I do it, but only for a few minutes while I cool off. If my hubby did it, I would probably give him a little space and see if that helps. Sometimes you just need to clear your head, know what I mean? When he cools off, just tell him you dont really appreciate the silent treatment.

ugh i hate the silent treatment! it always drives me nuts. if my guy gives me the silent treatment, i'll try to persuade him to talk and to pour out whatever it is that's inside his chest. after a while of trying to persuade him and if it's not successful, i'll give up..then try again. probably will give him a kiss or a hug and then gradually things will be ok again hehehe...^_^

Hi there, Must say its the other way round for me its normaly me that resorts to the silent treatment if my husband pees me off and i can go on for days not speaking to him

Yes, it happens to me. I use also the silence like weapon or just as way to prevent myself from deeper conflicts. Sometimes this is not because we want to hurt the other person, this is just because we are hurted. The usual reaction to this is to wait some time the things to calm down and to try to talk to the other.

You just described my life. : ) My boyfriend does this too. He says he is not mad at me, but acts like I don't exist and won't even look at me. I have never experienced it until now. I have learned not to get upset about it. At first, it would make me more angry and I would say things I didn't mean. That is the upside to his behavior. At least he is not saying things in anger he will regret later. Some people deal with conflict by pulling into themselves. He just needs some space and time to cool off. Give him some time, then talk to him about it. It is hard to let them sulk, but they won't respond unless you give them a little space to do it. Good luck.

I have experienced many times having a "cold war" or the silent treatment with my husband; more often than not, he is the one who initiates the first move because I NEVER do the first move! LOL! Some pride I have...this is because the cause of the argument or misunderstanding is always him, and I swear I always do my part well as a wife. Serves him right for starting a "war" he cannot finish!

I have experienced this many times already. We cannot avoid encountering arguments and/or negotiations in every relationship. But when my husband gives me cold shoulders, I just let it be. Sometimes it works for us, sometimes it does not, depending actually on how and why the argument started in the first place. I even respect his silence for a couple of days and when everything has cooled off already, that's when I make my move of reconciliation.

If my husband resorts to the silent treatment, I usually ignore it and be silent myself. I let time pass for a while and wait for the appropriate time to open up a different subject of interest to divert the mood...I try as much as possible not to touch the topic we argued about, not yet, till we are both cooled down and ready to talk about it again, if we have to.

With me, I find that my husband gets angry about something and it wouldn't matter what I said, he isn't in a mood to listen to me. I stay quiet till he calms down and can hear what I have to say. I think you have to ignore his silent treatment; work your own home routines, do the shopping, talk to friends, invite family round ..... you're rewarding him by getting upset if he gives you the silent treatment and that just encourages him to do it again. Best Margaret