I am at my wits end help me!!
By TriciaW
@TriciaW (2441)
United States
May 30, 2007 9:12am CST
My daughter just refuses to do anything she is told without talking back. Now don't get me wrong she ends up doing it because I won't argue with her or give in but there are days it drives me nuts. Today she comes up and askes me what chores do I have to do before I can go out and play. I tell her all of them. She says no I am not going to do them. I replay then you won't go and play. She mumbles a bunch of other things about how she won't do them as she goes and completes her first one. She comes back and says do I have to clean my room? I say yes that is part of your chores. Again she says how she won't do it and goes off to her room. This will go on until all her chores are completed. Some days it doesn't bother me as much as it is today. I have already warned her today is not a good day to keep pushing me. Help!!!
2 people like this
9 responses
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
30 May 07
My 15 year old use to love testing me this way and for awhile we went back and forth. The things always got done but I hated the back an forth. My dad actually reminded me of what he use to do. He said every kid goes through it. I explained to my son that he knew what his chores were and everytime he complained I would add something. It took a few times before he got it. But it worked because he knew if he complained he would get one more thing to do. Now he just gets it done. He is probably still complaining to himself but atleast it's not with me.
@Handymantracy (6)
• Canada
31 May 07
Don't let her get you upset. You already know she is going to test you.
Maybe a time or two you could pitch in and help her do some of the work. Not all of it though.
After a few times cut back with the helping.
If she doesn't feel alone in the tasks all the time, she may not hate the chores so much.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
30 May 07
My son has just turned 14 and has decided to mouth off about everything. It is driving me crazy. He will fight about anything. His dad tells him to do something and he does it, quietly. If I tell him it is world war III. I'm at my wits end.
@ozangel82 (753)
• Australia
31 May 07
lol, kids! there really isnt much you can do to avoid the back talk, all kids seem to find enjoyment out of seeing how far they can push it. I would say to her that the longer it takes you to do your chores, the less time you have to play. but im sure you have already tried that!
@canjo13317 (396)
• United States
30 May 07
"I tell ya', I don't get any respect around here." Dangerfield must have been a father. But in your case, she is doing her chores, albeit grumbling while doing it. Try to get her to look at it more cheerfully. Sing a happy song, whistle, play some music. It is a good way to make bad things seem better. At least it works for me. Your doing just fine and I'm sure when she becomes a mom she will love you more for your tolerance.
@swtnss (264)
• United States
30 May 07
I have a 12 year old and sometimes she doesnt want to do what she suppose to so i tell her she cant do anything until she does what she suppose to do. I never give into her. I let her know she pull a fast one on me. I am sorry but singing a song does not help the problem. Kids are gonna be kids and we as parents have to put our foot down and not back down. At least she is doing her chores even though she doesnt like to.
@amaleigh73 (499)
• United States
30 May 07
When my kids complain about doing something, I tell them that in the time they took to complain about it, they could have had some of the work done. We also tell them that we all have certain jobs we must do in order to keep our household running. We don't like all of our jobs but they are things that must be done. I think that your are doing the right thing by just stating the fact that "yes" she needs to do them without getting into an argument with her. Also, if it was a struggle to get them to do their chores without complaining, I make sure when they are finished to thank them and tell them they did a good job. And challenge them for the next time to do it without complaining. Good Luck!
@creematee (2810)
• United States
30 May 07
My children complain about empting the dishwasher. They each have a shelf that they unload. I tell them, if they don't want to do it, then they can cook dinner, clean up dinner, and FILL the dishwasher. With a quiet groan, they empty it up in about 10 seconds. It's funny how quickly they can do their chore when they realize what OTHER chores they COULD be doing!!
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
30 May 07
I think you will find your daughter is rather normal, I think everyone goes through these stages, other than maybe sitting her down and having a woman to woman talk, and basically pleed to her inner woman so to speak...make her feel what she does is important but I know it is hard but she will grow out of it I am sure...
@pelo26 (1552)
• Philippines
30 May 07
How old is she? Kids are like that. At least she's doing them..., Others are so hard headed that they'll complain and completely ignore the chores. She'll grow out of it. Just keep on reminding her that it's not nice to do so and that you won't tolerate it.
@creematee (2810)
• United States
30 May 07
Tricia, I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. My 8 year old son has chores to do before he gets to play on the computer/playstation. He complains, whines, cries, everything he can think of to avoid working. If it gets too out of control, he loses the reward for a whole week, and can gain it back, IF he does what is asked of him during that week. I'm truely hoping that we don't have the power struggles this summer like we've had so far.
Like you, we struggle, but he gets it done. If he does the chores without any arguement he gets to play longer. The more he argues, the less time he gets to play.
Sending Hugs your way. Count to 10, and hopefully, she'll behave. ((((((((hugs))))))))
