My generosity only goes so far

It has been my experience that the leeches will s*** away all your time and energy if you don't say "No" to them.

You and your husband have to learn to say, "I will help you out with such and such and it will cost so much." My daughter is the same way, very generous with her skills with the computer. She also drives people around all the time. I have told her she has to start charging people for web designing and for rides, especially now that gasoline is so expensive.

Having a good customer service plan is essential to any business but I agree that there has to be a limit to the amount of time a person spends doing their "paying job" for free....word of mouth can help or hender a business and if he is not providing this free service to all of his customers....it could cause him to loose business....that is probably an extreme but you know what I am saying..... Yes, there has to be a limit because this is what pays the bills....

i agree, generosity should have its limits otherwise people start taking advantage. i know that, because i've also been there, and i was asheamed to tell people "ehough" because i was affraid not to be unpolite. but since i started having little time, i began turning people down when they asked me for things i couldn;t have done. to my surprise, only few did not understand.

I guess what you say is really true. I also feel the same way about myself, and i stll don't know when to stop the generosity. Sometimes people take advantage of me because I am good to them help them in software analysis and installations. I just hope that someone can gve some opinion in your post that may help us. Thank you and more power!

I both agree and sympathize with you. My husband can be the same way, he do all sorts of things for other people and ask for nothing, but then if he has to ask anyone for anything he always offers them something for thier help. I think it might be a man thing, I don't think it's really something that they do conciously, but it's like they are trying to be the "big man" or to "look cool" to people so they always say yes when aske for something so that people will like them, and then don't want to ask for anything for it because they want to be the one that doesn't need anything from anyone. I actually had to fight with my husband about it and point out that "a real man" doesn't put others needs before the needs of his wife/family and that that was what he was doing. It can cause a blow up but I've found that with some stubborn men if you can legitimately imply that doing or not doing something would make a man not "a real man" they are more likely to give it more consideration than otherwise. Or maybe it's just my husband.

A true friend knows how to repay someone for a service provided. I hate feeling like a leech when someone helps me! The people we deal with always seem to return the favor in some way, with money or with services. My husband is a mechanic. When one of my single daycare mom's had car trouble he fixed her car and she offered to watch our 3 children for an evening. When my friend brings me tomatoes, onions, peppers and zucchini from his garden in the fall he knows he is going to have zucchini bread and salsa shortly afterwords. I would not ask my friend(who is a barber) to provide free haircuts just like she would not expect me to provide free daycare, but sometimes we can work out a trade. When someone continuously asks for favors and gives nothing back in return, it is time to stop wasting your time and efforts on them. Time is precious and no amount of money can buy it back. Not only is your husband providing services to these people, he is also spending time away from his family. He should be getting something out of the deal.

i agree with you, my fault is that i also am too generous. I can never seem to say no and i hardly ever get thanked for going out of my way. I don't know why but i like to please people and hate it when i can't

yes. i still believe that even generous people will be full one dy if people around them does nothing but only take advantage. we can only take so much, and only give so much. like what they say, we should know how to love ourselves before we can love others as well.

You type of couple is found rarely. If wife is openhanded then husband is miser and vice versa. But in your case both are open to help others. Very nice. These acts will be counted in your 'Good Account" of God. You know when we help others, they give us thank by heart which is the precious thing for us. No matter in return we do not get material things, but thanks by heart is more than that. You both are collecting thousands of best wishes. That is the main wealth in the world. Keep it on !! God bless you enough courage.

I think generosity should only be extended to people whom you could see that working hard as well. Or even if they have done well they could earn small amounts. I think it wasnt good to just being generous all the time because people tend to abused it. You just need to know whom your going to extend hand next time.

Hi swtrose. there is an old saying that I learned a long time ago, "once volunteered, there after expected". This is true as most people do expect you to continue on as if you owe them something, I have lost a few so called friends that way, as I was only called when they needed help. other wise no contact, Nada, nothing. So I let them call me and didn't bother to answer and you would not believe the nasty voice mails I got after all the wonderful things they did for me, I was an ungrateful so and so. So now I watch what I volunteer for.

Yes i do believe that sometimes other people are there too comfortable on asking help or financial things that they have fall short on. well on my experience i do encounter those things but sometimes you can't blame them if they trust you to do those things or if you have the capability to provide it. well the Big question here is your priorities and who and who will get the help first. depends upon the urgency. communication is the key.

Well generosity is OK until it is not affecting your personal and family lives. If it starts affecting, you have to take care.