Karma makes me a jerk!

You can't really say that. There are couple's who are good people and yet they can never have kids. There are couple who are really mean and yet they keep popping babies all over the place. Personally I would take an abortion if I were in her place provided the baby is still just a ball of cells. I'm in no shape to take care of a kid at age 17. I'm still in no shape at age 22. I don't plan on having any kids, but if I do then it will be when I am around 30. I wouldn't to give up my own child for adoption. I suppose if the baby is already formed then I will not have the abortion. However I know I will be facing a harder life as I won't be going to university. I know there will be less employment opportunities if I never went to uni. So I have been very careful about getting pregnant.

I can say whatever I want, and feel however I want. There are also couples everywhere in this world that hurt they're children and probably don't deserve to be parents, however we're not discussing them or they're problems. We're talking about this problem with this person's family, it concerns none of those other people. Personally I would take an abortion if I were in her place provided the baby is still just a ball of cells. I'm in no shape to take care of a kid at age 17. I'm still in no shape at age 22. I don't plan on having any kids, but if I do then it will be when I am around 30. Wow, I guess that people aren't or weren't very mature in that time. I got pregnant at 17 and I had my child, I graduated highschool while being 8 and a half months pregnant, and walked across the stage. I found if very difficult to support the life I created, however I did it. Plus at 6 weeks the child has a heart beat, therefore is more than just cells. Its wrong at anytime for abortion, its just wrong. I think that it doesn't matter whether you get pregnant or you don't get pregnant, it has nothing to do with schooling. If you get pregnant, your chances are limited only to your will and your strength. So if you choose to give up on your dreams because being parent is too hard, then its your choice. I think that some youth and young adults of today's age are just not mature enough to handle teen pregnancy so they take the easy way out. The cowards way out, so in this case yes I believe its karma. If that makes me a horrible person for feeling that way so be it, however its what i feel and i have a right to it. Rated!

Well silent I'll be sitting next to you on the bench with all the other horrible people. I have gotten numerous responses saying I should be more supportive of my sister, and I am always supportive of her, it's not like I don't feel bad for her situation, I do. You were right when you made the statement about being limited only as much as you want to be. Thank you for a thoughtful reply.

Ashley, I was the first one that said she made a choice that was right for her. But it had nothing to do if whether she would be a good mom or not, and everything to do with she wanted more for herself, she was quite the party girl, as I was myself, and I think it's sad that she has to look back now and wonder what could've been. I would never tell my sis my opinion because I love her and I know she is suffering for her choice.

How is it "selfish" to know and be aware that you are a "party girl" and that having a kid was not a good thing to happen at that point in her life? How do you only see "she just wanted to party, she didn't care about the kid" and not "she knew she would want to have a party life and that having the baby would not only screw that up but would not be responsible enough to care for it and probably breed resentment and lead to bad parenting"? Or do you just think you're sister is too much of a dumb sl*t to think it through that far?

And somehow knowing that you don't want or can't handle a child and not subjecting yourself or the child, or any other family that may become involved to unnecissary hardships isn't "grown up"? Just because you chose to have it doesn't make your decision inherently "correct" or "grown-up". Nor does it make anyone else's different choice "wrong" or "childish" or "selfish" for that matter. Having a child is NOT about "growing up", it's about becoming a different person. An adult and a parent are two entirely different people. And as much as people try to preach that they're not, it doesn't change the fact. An adult can devote their time to careers, partner/spouses, hobbies, talents, aspirations, dreams. A parent is a parent. Sure, they may do those things in their spare time, but how much spare time is there really after childbirth recovery, feeding, burping, diapers, crying, shopping, colds, doctor's visits, follow-ups, vaccinations, bonding/"mommy'n'me", then pre-school and school functions, PTA, social functions, schoolwork, tutoring, then teen angst, puberty, discipline, keeping up with the latest fashion trends, more tutoring, extra help, school games/performances, rehearsals/practices. You may have been fully willing and personally able to make that kind of transformation, but not everyone is and even if they are, most people can't just flip a switch at the drop of a hat. And that is not an inherently selfish, immature or childish trait. Being able to recognize that in yourself and not risking it should be concidered very mature and self-aware.

After reading this soccermom I can see why you feel this way. I suppose some people are just selfish and her remarks to you were totally out of order. You made the best decision possible to help yourself and your child. I have had the same experience. I have not spoken to my sister since December because I was sick of her interferring in my kids life's and I told her one day "If you want a prodical child, then have one yourself". She cannot have children herself, but I could not keep allowing her to use mine for her needs. She does not even speak to her niece and newphew now, so it shows me she is just selfish. I do believe in what goes around comes around, but at 17 years of age I don't think we really know ourselves too well. I have a daughter of 17 and to think she might get pregnant would break my heart but I would stand by her on what decision she made. Obviously waters run deeper with you and your sister and her having the abortion is just part of it. Oh the joys of having a sister. I wish you well soccermom!

By the way my sister had an abortion when she was younger too and only a few years ago she had to have surgery to remove some cysts from her ovaries. How strange!

I made the remark about her salary as a point that being a mother and having that experience is worth far more than any amount of money. I am in no way shape or form jealous of her. I make just as much money as she does and we were raised to believe it was the emotional, not the materialistic things in life that matter. So your idea of me being jealous is way off base, I do feel sorry for her. They can adopt, etc..but she will never know the joy of pregnancy. And I know this si gonna sound nuts, but I think it's sad that she feels she was not a strong enough person to juggle the responsibility of getting pregnant and having baby as well as furthering her education, she has told me so.

I am not angry at her. And as far as being supportive goes, I have been far more supportive of her than she has ever been of me. I wouldn't tell her I feel this way, I have been her shoulder to cry on since her fertility issues started, not to mention all the other things she has gone through in her life. My first post ever on myLot had to do with being a surrogate for her, if that's not support I don't know what is.

Whatever your feelings are, you are not a supportive sister. If you ever make a mistake in your life, hope that you have someone more supportive than you are being of her. You seem so angry at her. It is sad.

I wish her the best also. She has the added stress of arguing with her hubby over adoption. he doesn't feel it would be right to adopt a baby because it wouldn't be there own. In my opinion if they want a family bad enough and adoption is the only option they will do it. They'd be wonderful parents to a less fortunate child.

oops meant Karma never fails...

I am here for her and she knows that. I'm not trying to come across as judgemental, I have made several mistakes that I have paid for. I am a victim of Karma in ways also, the difference between her and I though is I let her use my shoulder to cry on, she never did that for me.

Reading your post it made me wish I could add on to my discussion. A big part of me feeling like this is karma does not apply to every woman that has had an abortion. And who knows, she may still be going through this now had she not aborted. But my sister has been consistently selfish and self centered the majority of her life, and I can't help but think this is some sort of payback (not punishment) fort he way she's lived her life and treated those around her.

Well maybe you are right. Karma's a b*tch, isn't it? I do believe that what comes around goes around, so if your sister has been selfish and self-centered her whole life, perhaps that is why this is happening to her now. Maybe this experience will make her look at life differently. Hopefully!

I hope I'm not being to forward, but did your PCOS make you infertile?