If we really want to defend marriage....

Marriage is a union between a man and a woman...end of story. They can do all the civil unions they want, but it doesn't change the reality of the basis of marriage. This is not only a basis of the far right, there are a lot of moderates who do not like the idea of gay marriage. This is not a issue of political control freaks, this is an issue of right and wrong. Although I have been divorced, I don't believe in it, but found myself in a situation where it was necessary. Divorce has nothing to do with the fact that I consider any idea of gay marriage to be morally reprehensible, and flies in the face of the institution of marriage.

Making divorce more difficult only makes it harder on kids. If the married people hate their situation and are stuck, the kids get exposed to fighting and simmering resentment all the time. If you had to pay X amount of dollars to get a divorce or you had to pay thousands for a private detective to have irrefutable proof then marriage is more a prison than a privilege. The way to strengthen marriage is to strengthen good relationships of all kinds -- including civil unions. I just don't get why you have to NOT have civil rights based upon who you love. Not being able to have your loved one make medical decisions for you when you can't for yourself. Not being able to have your pension pass to your loved one. Not having a say in probate court over a will. All of these things being denied to same-gendered loved ones are just plain wrong. Strengthening loving unions, whatever sort they are, and being able to dissolve unwise, unhealthy unions when needed are what a sane society needs to do and does defend sanctified marriage and protect civil rights as well.

I believe that thedivorce rate has increased for a number of reasons, primarily, that people no longer believe that staying together just for the sake of the kids is in the childs best interests. Growing up in a home full of parental disharmony, probably has a worse affect on a child than a quick and clean divorce, in the long run. Also, in the society of the past, men were completely dominant, and fortunately this has changed. Wives who have violent and abusive partners now have the strength and support available to them, to help them escape such husbands, whereas in the past, they would have been told to stay at home, and not upset the husband. Thirdly, as Andy Warhol claimed, everything, includingmarriage, has become disposable. Celebrities marry, just so they can sell the photos, then sell their stories again when divorcing. Two pay days, two photo opportunities per marriage. And the media capitalises on this industry, making this absurd behaviour seem normal and acceptable. I personally have never been married, and though having been with my partner for over 7 years, we have no intention of ever marrying. We'd rather spend the £1,000s a wedding costs today, on enjoying our lives. We don't feel the need to show our commitment to a vicar or the public, we have it within our home, and no certificate would change how we feel together. Cynically, I have stated before that men only propose marriage when they've run out of other things to discuss with their partners! It occupies the fiancee for months organising things, and gives the couple things to discuss. As such, it is doomed, because once the wedding is over, they return to the non-communication that blighted them before the proposal! I am a cynic though, and do enjoy other peoples weddings.

I absolutely agree with you here. I think they should make it much harder to get a divorce. Maybe then so many people wouldn't be rushing into marriage. I think they should raise the cost of divorce and make people go through counseling before a divorce is granted (especially if there are children involved).

Divorce is easy to get. My cousin who is in the process of leaving her 4 th, yes 4th husband (and keep in mind, she is only 32 years old) at her last reception which is the last one that I am attending! She said as part of her speech "and if it doesn't work out I already know how to get a divorce" haha....? WTF? that's her idea of a joke at her wedding reception? I was married, yes, was. When I said "I do" I meant it and was prepared to be with this guy for the rest of my life. Apparently he had different ideas. 3 years into the marriage, he told me he was leaving. I am ashamed to admit it but I went so far as to beg him to stay, asked what I did wrong, asked if it could be fixed, asked if he would go to counselling. He still walked out. I don't think you should make divorce harder to get because then people will just not get divorced. They will just leave, live separated and go on with life. Rather, I think that if some couple wants to get married, they should have to be together "dating" for a period of time. Then they should also have to go to pre-wedding counselling etc.. so on and so forth. It should be a privledge to get married. and you shouldn't be able to get married unless you go through a whole series of things. Marriage is special and sacred, not everyone should be able to do it. You should ahve to earn the right to do it. That is how I think we could solve the divorce rate issue. Because only those people taht have proven to be devouted to each other and truly in it for the long haul would be allowed to get married. I don't know. Maybe I'm just red nek and country? but thats what I think.

I think that its funny that its relatively cheap to get married, and expensive to get divorced. It would be rather funny if you had to spend more to be legally married, then people would think more about the importance of the committment right? I think that there are more and more people not realizing the importance of they're commitment, and the cost and pain that will happen if the commitment fails. I don't agree with gay marriage, however I think if they would spend less time worrying about gay marriage and more time worrying about divorce that we'd save more money in the long run.

The views on divorce have done a complete turnaround for so many people even from as close as 30 years ago. I think most people get married b/c their immediate first thought is, if this isn't happily ever after, well, i can just get a divorce. They don't weight marriage as heavily as it should be before you go into that institution. Sometimes it makes me mad, because when people find out my wife and i have been married for four years, and together for six, they're like, Wow!! And i'm like..you know, 4 years is a drop in the bucket. We want 50 years together, and that's such an abstract thought for so many today. I've also noticed that the trend of people who were previously married for 20 years or more, those divorce rates are rising also. I think it's very sad that we live in a society that doesn't view marriage as forever, but rather, married until i'm bored or until...whatever. Most people would rather give up than work through their difficulties together. Now, there are people i truly believe divorce is the best thing for them. Abusive, cheated on, etc etc. But for the most part, people should think, is this person my forever? before getting married. Do i think gay marriage should be legalized? Why not? marriage is about loving each other and wanting to be together forever. Marriage is obviously not just about children and propagating the species anymore. It should be about love, and commitment. LOL sorry, this is kind of a soapbox for me. A lot of people are against gay marriage because they view gay people as a different kind of species entirely, and are extremely homophobic. I'll admit it, i myself am a little homophobic, but i'm not worried about getting hit on and asked to marry a guy. I just think that if someone wants to get married, and stay married, they should be allowed. What are we going to do next? Take the voting rights of gays away?

i do think divorce is too easy and should be made much harder to obtain, maybe involving counceling and psychological reports first. Also a cooling off period would help, maybe 18 months or so. I also feel we need to make getting married harder, maybe run classes blessed be