Live with My Mom or Mother-in-Law????

If you decide on your mother in law and have to pay all those bills then why not just try to find a house close to your moms then? Because what would really be the difference? You'll still be paying but you'll have your privacy. Or you could stay with your parents and save the money which can be used to help in moving and buying new things for your new house. I am sure you could tell your kids the ground rules and they might listen but if not then you will have to be strong in your convictions and follow through with your type of punishment to let them know you won't tolerate their misbehavior and maybe you can help your mom put some disipline into the other children. Just think though they will have someone to play with this summer and get to spend time with their grandparents. It is sometimes hard to stand up to your parents because we have always been told to listen and mind all our lives. I hope you find peace in any decision you may decide to make. But that would be alot of money to save up minus the cost of groceries and supplies you will need. Maybe you can give it a try for a few months and if you ddon't like it or need a change keep your options open. I couldn't really get along with my mother in law she drove me batty and was so bossy and everything had to be her way or no way or they was a arguement. needless to say we didn't even stay out the month before I had my husband moving me away from her..I was taught things different and had different values then her so we were like Hot oil and water. Well, good luck.

I would definitely choose to move to a place where me and my kids would be happy. I know what you mean when you talk about moving back home and standing up for yourself and your kids. I don't blame you one bit. If I was you, I would move down close to your mother-in-law. I think you will be alot happier there. We want to move soon also because there is alot of craziness around our area sometimes also and we don't feel like we belong here.

Hi Michele I read your story and I would definetly go to your mom. Its always good to go to your family in times like this. And you will saving some money. Listen its not forever and it will give something to look forward to.

This is tough but after looking at all the pros and cons, I would suggest going to live with your mom. After all, it's only 6 months. Plus, your husband will be able to visit you while you are there. Also, you will be saving money. All plus points there. As for the influence from the other kids, just be firm with everyone..your mom, your kids and the other kids. I think it's good to talk about some boundaries you and your mom can set up prior to you moving there. Good thing is, you will be there to keep an eye on your kids. You may not be able to control other kids and their behaviour but you can certainly look after your own kids. Just tell them that just because so and so does this and that, it doesn't mean that it's ok for them to do it too. I know it can be hard to stand up sometimes especially to our parents (very intimidating!) but think of the good of your children. You'll be fine. I'm a Marine wife and has gone through a deployment and various times of my husband being away for training, etc. So, I do understand. Our lives will be a constant change cycle. And all we can do is just learn to adapt to the circumstances as best as we can.

I would have to be where I could see my husband. I don't think that I could go for 6 months without seeing him. Maybe you can be a good influence on the other children while you are there. If you set up some ground rules for them when you get there. I don't know if your parents would allow this or not....

Well, the ultimate decision has to be yours. But there are obvious +'s and -'s with both scenerios. If you go and stay with you parents you could get permission to discipline the other kids when they behave badly in front of yours. I don't mean spanking...i'm talking about time outs and taking away priveleges. And you could take extra care to make sure you kids understand how bad the things the other children do are and make sure they don't start acting badly. And I understand how money can be a big issue for you, so that'll def. be good for you in that area. Since you get along with your mother-in-law that wouldn't be bad either. I hope you mean you'll only be paying half the bills (she isnt making you pay all of it when she'll be there too!?!?) And maybe since you two get along if you ever need a little help/break with the money she might be understanding. And you can always learn the streets and areas of a new place, it's just something to get used to. I hope I helped you at least a little bit.

i think your mum would definately be the way to go, maybe you can teach the other kids some discipline so they dont corrupt your own kids! at least if you stay with your mum you can save money on bills while your hubby is away, and maybe your mum in law could come stay with you there every now and then?

I would suggest going to live with your parents. Look at it this way. You save rent. You are on familiar ground. You could always look for additional means of income in that familiar environment. Also, about the children, your parents looking after them would have made a great difference to those children. Your children and you too would have a positive impact on them.

I know what you mean when you say that you find it difficult to stand up for yourself with your parents. I have an OK relationship with my mother but it would NEVER survive six months of living together, forget the relationship, I wouldn't survive with my sanity intact. I know six months seems like a short I-can-put-up-with-anything-for-six-months period but trust me, when things get bad it can be a really really long time. Besides I wouldn't want to expose my kids to the mess that would eventually erupt between my parents and me (or bad behaviour by my mother's kids). If I were you I would go live with the mom-in-law. Peace of mind is the most important thing in the world, everything else can be managed.

Every things on the earth has price tag, including peace of mind. Therefore I feel you should stay with your mother in law because, you can have more peace. Further your children will have a good time there in a new place. Basing on the consideration of your mother in law is good woman and your rapport with her is good.Of course, final decision is yours.

I think the most important question is... who will not drive you insane. As an ex-military wife, I had to deal with the husband away 'forever' problem. Kids are flexible. They will do ok if they can't see daddy for awhile. It just depends on who would not drive you nuts. I would like to know why you can't take your car if you go to Oregon? Just drive it there. And Oregon could be an adventure for you AND the kids. Don't look at the money situation as much as the mental one. Think long and hard about who you could deal with and go with that. Good luck!

i think u should stay with ur mother-in-law as she seems to be sweet and supportive if u cant adjust with ur parent's kids.u can roam around and find out what u want.

Go to Oregon and get an apartment !! Forget the parents with their three little kids !!! Pay the rent and all the other bills if any. Be freedom and independent

to yourself ,you wangt to live with your mother to others' eyes, you have to live with mother-in-law so ,you'd better live with neither of them,instead,live nearby is OK

Although i think you should live with your mom as it is important for your kids to see their father...and think of the flip side, your kids can show your mom's kids GOOD behaviour! But to be honest, your mother in law sounds like the best deal, but will it be for your kids? Dont worry about being in a new town, think of it as an adventure!

I think I would choose to live with mom. You could save money which is very important and your kids will have kids to play with. I bet your mom would love to have you come stay with her. You say that the adopted kids don't behave very well, maybe your kids will rub off on them and show them how to be better kids. Than everybody will be happy.