You're Not my Friend!
By breepeace
@breepeace (3014)
Canada
May 31, 2007 6:45pm CST
I have a lot of friends on Facebook. Well over 150. Most of them are old friends from high school or coworkers. The other day I got a friend request from a girl I went to high school with, but I can't remember even once having a conversation with her. She may have been friends of a friend, but I know I was never buddy-buddy with her. She was a very popular girl, whereas I was generally just well-liked and known and I can't figure out why 6 years after I graduated (7 since she did, she's a year older) she still remembers who I am, even though we weren't even really acquaintances.
I'm a little confused about what to do, too… should I send her a message reminding her we were never close and wondering why she's adding me? Would that be rude?
Should I just add her (I hate randomly adding people who request to be my friend’s on Facebook even though I’m not sure I knew them at all) just to be nice? Should I just decline it? What would you do and what do you think I should do?
3 people like this
7 responses
@hcromer (2710)
• United States
24 Jan 08
If you don't want her to be your friend because you never felt close to her then don't make her your friend. You don't need to message her about it or anything, in fact that would probably make it a lot harder on both of you. What probably happened was she wanted to see some of your pictures or something and maybe you just had your profile set so only your friends could see.
1 person likes this
@wackeytiger (424)
• United States
22 Jul 07
I think it may be rude to send her a message saying you hardly knew her and that you two were only acquaintances because she may have thought a lot more of you. I would just add her and if she doesn't ever write on your wall or send you messages then just remove her from your friends list.
@netbuster (99)
• India
1 Jun 07
Maybe she remembers you for something nice you did in school. I don't see any harm in adding her to your friends list. You know her at least from school. You may come across some old friend you both knew through her.
1 person likes this
@hcromer (2710)
• United States
23 Jun 07
If I didn't particularly like her then I wouldn't add her, but if I didn't really know her I'd probably send her a message and ask her what was up and why she wants to be my friend. I don't think it's rude to ask before adding someone at all, I think more highly of people who ask to be honest with you.
1 person likes this
@killahclaire (3665)
•
1 Jun 07
I use facebook a little too and the chances are she has seen that you went to school with someone she was friends with and decided to link you. If she was a popular girl she probably wants to have a very very full friends list.
I can understand why you are in a pickle and why you don't want to cause offense but I think I have found the solution.
Add her as though she was one of your close friends, fill out the how I know you bit and then in a day or two delete her. And you never have to think about her again I don't think she would know that you deleted her and it would keep your friends list tidy
1 person likes this
@thegoodkitty (77)
• United States
1 Jun 07
I know the issue. I hate being faced with that decision. Hypocritically, I'm going to recommend that you decide based on what you /actually/ want. You'll likely never have to face her again, and she may not even notice that you've declined the request if she's just adding everyone she can recall. I don't think that you need to message her about it. If she contacts you after you've declined her, then you can explain that you were just never really friends, and you only add people you really knew. If your policy is to add people you've actually spoken to, don't make exceptions to spare others feelings. Chances are she just wants to lengthen her list - that's usually the case. If you decline her and she contacts you further, well, maybe she's sincerely interested in adding you because she recalls having met you, and then maybe you could reconsider.
So, essentially and decisively, I'd say decline her. It's not rude, it's just sincere.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
1 Jun 07
well she was never your buddy but she was never otherwise either. I don't see why you don't add her to your list. I was popular only the first year but then I decided to be myself and so I wasn't popular anymore. Now in my case there would be a lot of HS people I wouldn't bother to add in my list if they ever asked for it.
but you said you were well liked anyway so some old friends might remind her about you. anyway, just a thought! if you feel like not accepting her, maybe it's the right thing to do.
