I need an advice....Please help...
By gorgeousbevs
@gorgeousbevs (75)
Philippines
May 31, 2007 9:00pm CST
Since I'm the first child in the family, I'm raised to be a very responsible person. I've been working for 2 years now, and I could say that big part of my earnings I gave to my mom for she handle the household needs. What is left for me is just my everyday allowance for food and transportation..
My boyfriend and I were planning to get married by next year. And of course I need to help him to save money for the wedding.. And for that reason, I will be forced to lessen the amount that I gave to my parents..
How will I tell them so? This is such a big deal for me. I really don't know what and how to tell them...
4 people like this
7 responses
@tristankhalil (100)
• Philippines
1 Jun 07
Hi Friend,
I think you should really talk this to your mom. Does she knows you have a boyfriend? If yes, for me, it would be easy. How about your other brothers and sisters? are they not working yet? I think they can help too. How about putting up a small business for your mom. Say small store, eloading, or anything that you can think that you can give to her. In that way, she will always think that you are still minding her needs and open to support her.
@gorgeousbevs (75)
• Philippines
1 Jun 07
Thank you all for your advices... Yes they all know that I have a boyfriend... I just wish I have that confidence to tell them..
2 people like this
@caribe (2465)
• United States
1 Jun 07
I know that this must really be difficult for you. I would tell them in exactly the same way that you have told us here in this forum. You sound like a wonderful daughter. If you marry, they will have to learn how to get along without your income so a gradual lessening of your help will signal in inevitable of no longer having your help with the family income. Can one of the other siblings help to make up for the loss of your income? Good luck to you and congratulations on your soon to come wedding.
4 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
2 Jun 07
i suggest you start being honest to your family about this matter. you don't want to live each day wondering if they will understand you or not. so, better start talking to them soon. the sooner, the better. and i hope they will understand you. after all, they are your daughter and so, i guess they will.
@gorgeousbevs (75)
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
I started to tell them just last two days... And they was really like 'ok'... I know that its also hard for parents to accept that their child is getting married.. But i know they will understand also... in time...
Thanks for all your advices!
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
1 Jun 07
I would suggest that you be honest with your mother. Does she know that you are planning on getting married next year. If not, this should be the first thing you tell her. I am sure that she will be very happy for you. Then explain that you would love to continue to contribute to her finances, but it is time that you start putting your money into your future. You sound like a lovely daughter and I am sure that she will understand.
@alma31549 (3)
• Philippines
1 Jun 07
In the Bible, it says that a man shall cleave to his wife. Thus, when you get married your priority is your husband and children. Whatever you can give your parents will be out of what you can share with them after you have given to the needs of your husband and children. It may sound selfish but you must know your priorities in life. Only then can you move forward. Good luck!
3 people like this
@mikaelasmom (51)
• United States
1 Jun 07
I know that this will be hard for you and probably very nerve wrecking, considering you have been generously contributing to your parents for a couple years now. However, I do believe that your parents will be very understanding as to why you are not able to contribute as much as you usually do, especially with the reason for it. I am sure they will understand because your marriage will ultimately be what makes you happy. As far as letting your parents know about the situation, I would just break it to them lightly and as respectable as possible.
@beauty_ph (2749)
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
My friend I can relate to your story. I gave part of my earnings to my family too. I know its not easy not being able to save for our own just to make sure we are giving help to our beloved family.
Honesty is the best policy. Try to tell you boyfriend that you are helping your family. So he will understand you, and can acceplt it if you still want to do it after you get married.
Tell your family you need to save money, if you wish to keep your plans for marriage secret yet, tell them its for your future use.
My friend we are in God's plan, always include God in your plans too. God bless!
@beauty_ph (2749)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
Its always my pleasure my friend. Have a great day!
1 person likes this
@gorgeousbevs (75)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
Thanks for your encouragement! God Bless!
1 person likes this
