Left and Lonely..
By raijin
@raijin (10345)
Philippines
June 2, 2007 9:08am CST
Yeah! You all read it right, am alone.. Again..
After a long month of hard-fought battle, I succumbed, bled and lost. All my efforts, gone down to waste. I'm totally devastated now, and I'm sorry. Sorry to all of my friends, to all those who knew me here.
I never did any topic or discussion talking about my personal life here, but I'm really feeeling down right now. I don't need your sermons, opinions or lectures. All I need is your ears, your heart, for me to share what I am at right now.
I did everything, to save the relationship, beg, plead, gave and understood. But in the end, it was I who was left behind. I try to talk to her, but to no avail. I did my best to explain and tell her what I'm feeling, but all went to deaf ears. I did every possible solution that communications can provide, from internet, through e-mail and SMS messaging, but she just turns off her phone.
I can't go outside right now, because I don't want people I know seeing me in this state of mind right now. I can't fake it everytime, even here in our home. I don't my family members seeing me in grief, because I don't want to give them problems anymore. They always know me as a jolly, happy-go-lucky person. Right now, I can't simply go out of our house because we have been to places (in which I also love to go to before). But I also don't want to stay on our house, her memories are in each and every corner of our home.
I know I'll survive this, but don't quite exactly know for how long. So now, am alone and left in the corner like a blind dog looking for the light.
Tell me, how do you handle relationships? What should we value on having relationships? Can loving too much kill us? Should I still continue communicating with here, what do you guys think?
Your opinions will be appreciated, thanks in advance..
9 people like this
21 responses
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
3 Jun 07
Since I'm still grieving over a relationship that came apart over a year ago I don't know what help I can be to you other than to tell you to try to go on with your life being that happy go lucky person on the outside. I know how tough it is to hide the hurt that your feeling because I've been doing it for 13 months. Once they say it's over it usually is and there's nothing we can do to change their minds. I'm sure your not all alone and have loving family and friends to help you get through this. I wish you the best of luck and remember to keep smiling.
3 people like this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
It really is hard to deal with this kind of situation, it's hard to face the sad reality. I know have to deal with it, but it's hard to accept the fact that these things could've been avoided by having a good conversation. But yes, we have to move on. I may be suffering from a certain feeling of emptiness right now, but I have to swallow everything one by one.
Thank you, I really appreciate your thoughts!;)
Good day, and bless you..
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
2 Jun 07
i am sorry to hear about what happened. i did not realize your relationship with your girlfriend will end up. that's so so sad. the pictures i've seen... you both are still very very happy and confident together. but why? all of a sudden, it changed?
i hate seeing happy relationships go to waste. but it happens. sad that you're a victim of it.
as i always say, breaking up might seem hard. but it's always easier than moving on. moving on is the most difficult part of starting a life without her. she obviously is trying to ignore you. you already tried everything to make her hear you. but she remained deaf and blind about everything. it's true... don't close your doors to possibilities but don't hope too much, too.
oh, i don't really know what to say... the exact words. i feel so sad for you. i had been there many times.. even if i am a girl, i begged many times so that my boyfriend (exes) won't leave me, but they always do. so, i know how you feel.
just look around for awhile and see the people who care and love you so much. from them, draw strength... from them, move on... for yourself, start a new life... hope but not too much. and hang in there.
hope you feel better.
3 people like this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
Yes, she is loving in some ways. Very showy and sometimes, she does simple things that surprises me. That's why I was hurt when she left, because I was used in seeing and talking to her. I missed the good memories we had at each other, the plans we used to talk about and her wonderful smile that melts my everytime I see it.
The good news is, we already had the opportunity to talk at each other yesterday. She answered one of my e-mails, telling me that she had some financial problem and she's a bit pressured in finishing her studies. She also applied for a job, for her not to relay on her parent's financial support.
I feel a little at ease now, but the pain is still here. She decided that we should be friends for now, because she wants to get more focused on her obligations. I feel like the sacrificial lamb here, with all the good and bad times we've had, I was the one to suffer the most.
Thanks for your wishes my friend, take care and God bless.
1 person likes this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
3 Jun 07
I'm sorry to hear this.
It's always painful when a relationship ends, and especially when it ends on a bad note.
It seems to me that your girlfriend just isn't interested in being with you anymore. Rather than begging and pleading with her, I'd give her space.
She may decide to talk to you, or she may have made up her mind to end the relationship, and nothing will change her mind. If that is the case, then you have to grieve for whats lost and then try to move on.
Be strong. In time you will get over this.
2 people like this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
Thank you, my friend. I am now trying my best to forget her, though it's not that easy. I know I have to be strong, I just can't find any source to cling up to. So I opt to post it here on mylot, to let out a little of what I feel and learn to accept my fate.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
2 Jun 07
Hi, your old avatar is back! If you really love the person, let her go if she will be happier with someone else. This I feel, is one good consolation to your own pain!
It is allright to grieve. Go ahead and do what you want... time will heal. it's true. however, it is best to find new activities and interest to fill the current "emptiness".
I do not advocate that you engross yourself in work or anything in an attempt to forget the unhappiness. It will come out worst once the work stops. I have been thru it. It has been years, and I still have the phobia of another breakoff even though I am in another relationship now.
2 people like this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
3 Jun 07
She has lots of problems to deal with, with her parents not on her side, she has no one left to turn to. I guess that's one reason why she's a bit edgy right now, she has to deal with everything by her own. I was always there to offer help and support, from bills to projects at school. She's a bit stressed out with all the those things, and I guess I was the one she has to give up. Ain't that luck?!
Thanks for your cheering and have a great day, always..
2 people like this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
3 Jun 07
It is indeed sad that she choose to give up the relationship when she can do better to have one more person by her side giving her strength and support. Perhaps it is only temporarily. Give her the space. She might be back. Wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
@jencai (3412)
• Philippines
2 Jun 07
I'm also not feeling good as of the moment. Just like you I don't let anybody either know or see when I'm feeling down. I would better keep it within me, I never wanted them to worry much. But sharing those problems to other people makes us feel better just like you did. You have posted how you feel right now. Sometimes we need people who are ready to listen.
Maybe she just need some time alone. You need to give her space for the mean time but let her know that you're still there for her. And that you still love and care for her so much.
You'll be needing alot of patience for this situation.
Be strong, I know you could make it.
Goodluck!
2 people like this
@inday312saylon (747)
• Philippines
3 Jun 07
I couln't really get to the bottom of your problem, but believe me, I can empathize with you. MOst of us here have been in your predicament at some point in our lives.
What you need to do is to rise above this thing. Change your mind set. Tell yourself that's it was her LOSS and not yours when the relationship ended. Everything that's happening to us has a purpose. These things make you a better person.
So, get up and move on. Somebody's waiting for you out there, you know...
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
2 Jun 07
I know its hard when a relationship ends, it happens to everyone, I guess you could say its a part of life really, I believe everything happens for a reason and this simply means this person was not meant for you at this time, I have cried over a few past and now that I look back I think to myself why did I get so upset, I am so glad I never married any of them, something better always came along in time...Hang in there something better will come along for you too.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
5 Jun 07
This is a bit hard to understand raijin. You are kind, thoughtful, diplomatic and caring. Why has she left you? They will pass, these awful feelings and on no account should you leave here because your true friends will be here for you.
You must remember the good times and also that every dark cloud has a silver lining. You will get through this and you'll be stronger and wiser for it.
There is a saying that if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours, if it doesn't, it never was. If the togetherness isn't there, love will not last. What should be valued in a relationship? Truth, trust, honesty, love and laughter, respect, dignity and also compatability and friendship.
You are not alone. Hugs to you mate.
@Indiffer (287)
• Norway
8 Jun 07
I read this and it sounded like a song. You really write in kind of a poetic way.
But as for her i would let her be. It seems she doesnt care about you and the more you nag the more she backs off. People that begs for love are pitiful you know.
Maybe you can turn around. Do exactly the opposite of what she has learned to expect from you.
I wish you the very best, and a woman that knows how to appreciate you as you are.
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
2 Jun 07
I am sorry to hear that raij, i really do not know what to tell you. I know there is no guide book for brake ups and it is a very very difficult one.
I am usually on the other side, but even when i end the relationship, i usually feel like you and there are alote of things that i find emotionally difficult that i can not handle.
I know that it will take time. But you will be alright.
I give you all the support i can in my thoughts.
Time will do his part.
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
2 Jun 07
First of all, I'm really sorry for your sorrows. I know going through a breakup is really tough. I've been there myself. Well, let me just tell you, what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. And i really do believe this myself. It's gonna hurt so bad in the coming days or even weeks. I'm not gonna lie. But just appreciate what you have now, even if you think you've lost everything. I'm sure you're a strong man and by saying this, there's no use trying to live the past when she clearly wants to forget about it! So I suggest that you not communicate with her anymore, as it's only gonna make it harder for you to let go. Just remember raijin, that things happen for a reason. Have faith that it will turn out for the better~! All the best~! =)
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
3 Jun 07
Thank you, that's what I also feel for myself right now. It sure didn't kill me, but it left me down on my knees -for a while though. I know this will pass, and I have to move on. The pain I feel is natural, the wounds would heal as time passes by but it'll leave a scar. If ever there'll be a next time, I'm gonna make sure that this'll never happen to me anymore.
Good day, and all the best to you also..
1 person likes this
@pttee333 (43)
• Singapore
5 Jun 07
I really feel sorry for you.
Believe me when I say I know how you feel.
Well, maybe I felt worse.
One way to look at things is as you said "I did everything, to save the relationship...". So no regrets there.
My advise is talk to family and friends. Go out. Spend time with them.
It has 3 purposes,
1) to find out who you can count on (some friends are totally useless in these situations)
2) to show them that you respect/trust them enough to share you problems
3) let them understand you so that they don't aggravate the situation
Honestly, I would find it very disturbing if my friend is in such pain and refuse to share it wh me. Am I not good enough a friend to share this?
Lastly, as you didn't say what actually happened, I'll refrain on advising whether you should continue communicating wh her.
2 people like this
@spik_manoda (193)
• Sri Lanka
2 Jun 07
Bro !!! i knw hw u feel exactly... i went trough the same thing recently...... about 3-4 weeks ago i broke up with my girlfriend... i realy loved her 2...hoped dat our affair will end up in a better way... bt i think its fate bro !! it had 2 end eventually.... i acted juz lik u...still i hvnt gone out 4m my plc for abt 3 days.. i cnt bear to handle those old days i spent wit her...i juz cnt do dat.. but im almost ok nw... i hd sum of my friends to talk dis with... they help me a lot in this situation.. i feel much better now...so bro my advice to u is juz think of it as a gift... everything happens for good !!!
@tamskie (388)
• Philippines
3 Jun 07
you mean handling relationships? i tell you this, if you do not know how to handle your relationship with God then you can never handle a relationship and get to have a good one.
what we should value in a relationship is love, trust and respect! without a three you will and up miserable.
yes, loving to much can kill us when we love the wrong person. how do we know when we love the wrong person? it is when we feel bad about ourselves and can't hardly do and know what's right.
to what happened i tell you STOP communicating with her it will not do you any good besides her knowing that you always what to see and talk to her will only make her get her big head up. just give yourself space and time. there is still a day called "tomorrow" ..so why not wait for those tomorrows to come. also give her time coz she needs it.
you know what? the person meant for you will always be coming to you.. "true love waits"
the only thing that can make you comfortable right now is try to have a sincere prayer.. cry.. it helps i promise :)
1 person likes this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
I am now starting to look up at the bright side here, I can now face that "tomorrow" wearing a little smile on my face. I don't know how long I will feel this pain inside, but I can now say that I feel a little at ease at the moment.
Thank you for the kind words, good day and God bless.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
3 Jun 07
The problem is that when a person leave a relation it not sudden. They have been thinking about and distancing them selve for months or even years. It is only sudden to the one being left. It is very difficult to get over a relationship. I have no advice to give on how to do it. You just have to take one minuate at a time them 1 hour and pretty soon one day at a time. Just know that you will recover if you work at it.
1 person likes this
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
6 Jun 07
like i always say, just give it time to be apart and if it's meant to be she'll come back if not, then let it go! my hubby and i had broke up for 8 mos. prior to marriage and kids, we had no contact, i didn't know where he was, after 8 mos. a mutual friend told me he saw him and told me where he was, he hooked up a date for the both of us and we ended up just getting back together, i think it took those 8 mos. to realize we were meant for eachother.
1 person likes this
@lani0529 (1722)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
Hello raijin!(",)
Hope you are feeling a bit better now.(",) I really don't know what to say but somehow I think people should respect what you are going through and should not be judgmental. You must have really loved her for you to act as such but life must go on. I think you should look at the brighter side. Continue to cherish what you had in the past but live at the present. It could be that God has better plans for the two of you. It may hurt so much at this point but I know as the time goes by, it will heal on its own.
Grieve if you may, cry and shout to release everything that you are holding back. Then, go out and live your life without her like you did before you even met her. It may be hard at first but for sure you will make it.(",) Hope that with your experience, you will continue to love, live and be happy.
God bless you always raijin!(",) Your friends here in mylot will always support you.
1 person likes this
@huilee (1005)
• Singapore
8 Jun 07
Hey, cheer up and get over it..
I know its easier said then done..
I have been over it, i guess many people have been through this stage too..
Maybe ten out of ten people here?
Its really saddening..
I remember me cant get out of the thoughts and happy places and happy things me and him used to do..
Everywhere i go, everything i do, perhaps even a fork or spoon, a song or any bread will remind me of him...
But get over it...
Time helps..
Totally...
Its not crappy...
It doesnt heals totally perhaps, but at least it makes u used to ur wounds...
Thats what i believe...
I believe everything in life is destined or meant to be...
If it wasnt meant to be, at least u guys had some happy time together...
Move on and rock on...
@johnwoon (125)
• Malaysia
3 Jun 07
You are sick....love sick that is. This is always very painful...having to lose someone you love or having your love rejected by someone you dearly love who can't reciprocate your love.
But keeping this away from your family members is not a clever thing to do. You should pour your sorrow to them as you have just done in this forum. I guarantee you'd better off in handling this nightmare.
Sharing your problem with your family would lighten the burden on your shoulder and also would accelerate your journey of recovery.
Many a times, time would heal and when you meet somebody else, you'd silently thank God for having taken away your earlier love! You deserve some one better!
http://stopstress.blogspot.com/
1 person likes this
@Superfluous (284)
• Philippines
3 Jun 07
Can't do more if your partner is falling out of love from you..
