Which Is Worse, Being Compared To The Ex Or The Mother???
By Rozie37
@Rozie37 (15499)
Turkmenistan
June 2, 2007 8:56pm CST
I have dated a couple of mama's boys. I hate to be mean, but when I get married, I don't want no mama's boys and it would be better for me if the mother is dead. Sure, the mother's just love me. They look at me like, Oh, I just know you are going to take good care of my baby. I look at them like, please, I wouldn't marry this loser if he was a millionaire.
There is something that is very disturbing about a mama's boy. One of them use to hit me and the other would promise to hit me, after we got married. He said, what would you do if I hit you. I can not repeat what I said on Mylot. But for a while I really thought that he was just playing with me.
One time I asked him, what would you want me to do if you hit me? He said, run in the room and cry. That one had obviously seem too many old movies and was not in touch with reality. I broke things off soon after that.
I have never had a guy compare me to his ex, but I think it would be better than comparing me to his mother. At least I could know that another human being wanted home besides his mama. Then I would find a way to get the ex's phone number and call her for the 411 and then get his side of the story. You think I wouldn't, I'd be a fool, if I didn't.
No, I am just joking. I want to marry a good Christian man and provider like my sister did. He is far from perfect, but he is the only reason that I believe that there are still good men out there. He is so good that when my sister was at home with the triplets for seven years and they only had one vehicle, he would ride the bus to and from work every day to another far away city and back, just so my sister could have the car when she needed it.
He has raised my oldest niece who is his step-daughter as his own and all three of the triplets are constantly on the honor roll at school. He is a good man.
3 people like this
6 responses
@sabsta2006 (241)
•
11 Jun 07
The mother, definately!
Once my other half moaned that I hadn't untangled his socks before putting them in the washing machine. Now I've always told him that however he puts his clothes in the laundry basket is how they would get washed!!! I am not sitting there sorting out his stinking, dirty socks!!
Anyway getting back to the point! On this particular occassion he had the cheek to say "my mum used to do it for me", I was fuming. I told him that if his mother was so great why didn't he go back to her and sleep with her.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
11 Jun 07
Whoa!!! You don't want to put any ideas like that in their heads are you may be sorry. Men are tempted to do crazy things when it comes to their mother all the time. Like move her in, so that he can have the best of both worlds.
You have to remember that mothers are their first love and if they COULD sleep with their mother's, they would never get married. You tell him to get you a surgical mask and gloves and then you will do more fussing over his stinking laundry, LOL.
@BunGirl (2638)
• United States
6 Jun 07
Well... we're working on it. My hubby is quite fond of his Mother (as he should be!) so I am trying my best to work on the relationship for his sake and the sake of our future kids. But I don't think I have ever met another person with whom I have less in common! Thanks for your words of encouragement though. It is most appreciated.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
6 Jun 07
This happens to be a very normal occurance for between mother and daughter-in-laws. In a way, it is understandable, but the mother needs to trust that her son has made the best decission for himself and then step aside.
Maybe you two can guide her to places where she is still needed, but gently remind her that you guys are a couple now and that her opinion don't carry as much weight as they once did.
1 person likes this
@angela2006 (1845)
• China
13 Jun 07
I never thought about this question and I do not know the answer.but I think it maybe ex,because if his mother does not like you and he loves you so much,then you can still be happy.but if he compare you with his ex,then no matter how much his mother like you,then maybe you can not be together,because you will live together with him not his mother.
1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
5 Jun 07
Being compaired to my mother is worse than anything. I hate her and do not want to be anything like her!
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
5 Jun 07
I can understand why you say that you hate your mother. I have read your previous post and understand how you feel. I could not imagine having such a mother. The way she treated your twin and you is absolutely horrible and inexcusable.
That being said, you must know what is coming next. You are going to have to forgive your mother from the heart. This is not an option. I have a friend who went through a simular situation. I wrote about her not to long ago.
She has a lot of anger toward her mother and I believe for a very good reason. She was born with a lot of health and mental problems. Not only did her mother abuse her, but she encouraged her brothers and sisters to do the same.
The anger in her is so evident that you can feel it. I am working on being a good friend and loving her through the things that she has gone through, but believe me, it is not easy. Just like you, she has to forgive her mother. Even though her mother is no longer alive.
Matthew 6:8-14 is a prayer that you should read and meditate on daily. I had a situation where it was very hard for me to for, but I fought very hard to cleanse my heart of the hatred that I felt. Every time a bad memory would come up, I would say to myself, I have already forgiven that, so I must let it go. It has worked wonders for me. I ran into this person the day before mother's day and I can honestly say that I have no ill feelings toward her at all. It feels really good to say that. When you are able to say that about your mother, it will be a wonderful relief for you.
@msjigga (864)
• United States
3 Jun 07
Definately the Ex. If I were compared to the Ex I would question if the guy still had feeling for her.. If not wy she still a situation in his life. I completely agree with you on the Mama's boy issue. I need a Man that can be a Man not a Man who can't think for himself, provide for himself and his family. I always tell my friends they cannot treat their boy kids like they treat their girl kids. I hate to say but I am finding alot of church people who are Mama's boys. I am not sexist but in the bible it says a Man who cannot work cannot eat, and no where in the bible does it say a women is suppose to take care of her Man. I am confused.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
3 Jun 07
Now, I have not run into a church man who was a mama's boy. If I did really like him, then I guess I could pray about that. Real Christian men know that they are to leave father and mother and be joined to their wife and the two become one flesh.
Perhaps, the man that you met was not a real Christian or he was a new Christian. Another thing about real Christian men is that they steal believe that the ideal situation is for a man to go out an work, and the woman to stay home and tend to the needs at home.
God wanted it to be this way for a reason. Nothing is just thrown into the Bible as a suggestion. It is there to show you how God wants his children to live. When in doubt, Christians go to the word of God. It never goes out of style. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. If he meant it then, he means it now.
@younglking (167)
• United States
3 Jun 07
The EX!!!!!!!!!!
He or she still have feeling for there ex.
and is keeping you in a relationship and not telling.
There nothing wrong when someone say your like there mom,because there talking about the good not the bad.
1 person likes this
