How do you tell someone your not as into them as they are into you?

I had a talk with him today and hopefully he understood where I'm coming from...but I don't think so...

You are right that I didn't tell the end of the story lol This is someone I met online, but haven't met in person - that's what makes the "rush" seem even more odd. I'm not one to get attached easily to people I meet online, but this man stood out. We started talking on the phone after knowing each other for about a month. Whoa he shifted into 5th gear quite fast lol That was the first red flag, but I gave it a chance. I wanted to know him better before jumping to a definitive conclusion. It seems to be futile in my attempts. I was clear about going slow and getting to know him. He would slow down a bit, but it seemed more than anything he wanted something quick. I began to feel it wasn't just "me" he wanted, but a relationship, maybe something to make him feel good about himself. I didn't like that and it pushed me away. He's even said that he loves me. I eventually told him that I feel we are a mismatch as far as getting into a relationship, but could talk as friends. He hung up on me, but has been calling for the last few days. I didn't answer. I will say that beneath his "rush" there seemed to lie some other oddities. It pays to listen and observe carefully. I needed a certain comfort level before even entertaining the thought of meeting him. He did not offer that comfort level. Sad really because outside of his oddities there were some things I liked about him lol In my experience, anyone that pushes too hard has a reason and it usually isn't a good one.

I feel like you didn't tell me the end of a story! lol....so what happened? You know exactly what I'm talking about. This guy actually moved in with me after knowing him only a month for all sorts of stupid reasons but finally got himself an apartment and not far from here either...lol...but I've been very busy lately and seldom home. Yes he is too pushy and I'm wondering what his big hurry is?

I'm trying to take it slow but he seems to be in such a hurry for some reason. I guess time will tell.

I think all men are in a hurry. they either want to hurry and and make you their own or they want to hurry up and use and dump you. That is what I have been through and noticed.

you are right naty. there's nothing wrong with talking things out together. and ofcourse, better if you can keep him as a friend. atleast, you both start from there and who knows? it will develop into something else... and finally, you find yourself inlove with him.

If nothing else I would like for us to be friends but I think he's gone way past that now.

Men and not listening. They tend to do that. I think they dont listen cause they just want the problems to go away. I so hope that the 2 of you can get through your problems that you are both dealing with at the moment. It is a hard time for you.

I've been talking to him but he doesn't seem to be listening. We're both going through some stuff right now so I don't know what's going to happen in the end. I do want to keep him as a friend.

You hit it on the nose! I'm so afraid to take that risk again. Although I feel that he really does love me you just never know. I think I've lost all trust in men.

Everything requires taking risk in order for you to succeed. I know it is hard but maybe you could take it one step at a time. Give him a chance perhaps he is the one. If ever he caused you again pain you can always rely with voodoo, just kidding. Every failure is opportunity to learn from what happened. But what i want to tell you, don't close out your heart. There is always someone for everyone. We just have to wait. If ever he would hurt you, it is his lost not yours, so boo-hoo for him if ever. god bless you

I'm not so sure about him understanding. He does know what I'm about and my feelings about my ex but insists he can change them...ha ha....

I know exactly what your saying believe me. There are definitely no princes. He's about as close as I will ever get yet for me it's not enough. I have to wait and see what develops.

You are so lucky and I envy you so much. I do understand everything you said and totally agree with you.

Oh, my...I can so relate to you! I still want my ex who wants nothing to do with me and it hurts like hell.

This sounds horrible but I feel like I'm available if the right one does come along. I don't feel as though I'm in a committed relationship even though he probably does.

Wow, another one who has been there! Just when you think your the only one huh? lol....I'm never going to end up in a relationship that I'm not happy in. I've had my share of those.

One thing I will never do is settle. I've done it before and it got me nowhere. Friendship is a whole other ballgame and sounds good to me.

It must be something with these Boston men huh? lolol...my ex and I were together for 5 years too but now he wants nothing to do with me and it's killing me. This guy has great qualities but also some not so great so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm sure it will work itself out.

I see you have been there too...lol...sux doesn't it? I'm interested in him as a good friend and who knows what could happen from there? We're both going through some stuff right now so you never know.

I keep telling him to slow down and I need time so I don't know what more I can say to him.

I don't see why I should "set him free"...he is free to do whatever he wants to. I think we could be friends which was what he said in the beginning.

He knows I'm not over the other guy and that he's my "rebound man" so to speak but it didn't bother him in the beginning. I don't know how he feels about it now though.