Help! My friend is spending her family's last dime.

It will be very difficult if not impossible for you to make your friend see what she is doing to her family. The only thing I can think of is to absolutely put it all down on paper the cost of different brands of ice cream, the price of different brands of clothes. Add up the prices she would normally spend, and the lower costs for the same item, show her the difference. I have a feeling that this is someone who lives in a fantasy land where she believes that 'something' will happen to save them from ruin. When the end comes and she does see, don't do a lot of "I told you so", just offer to help her learn more frugal ways for the future.

I wonder if her husband has put his foot down with her. If not I say walk away and let her fall on her butt. Then wait for her to come to you when she has goose eggs in her account. She's probably using credit cards left and right which only makes it worse. Those won't last long either. Just tell her hubby, he better find a job fast, before she puts them into the poor house. She's living a lie, she wants everyone and I mean everyone that includes the super markets to see that she can afford the good stuff. Once they see that your buying the cheap stuff, they think they will think they can't afford that. I will only buy a few things that are brand named, rest I don't care because it's just like the brand name, just with the store's logo on it. I have learned though from being cheap, that some cheap stuff is a waste of money and I would have saved more just by paying the extra by getting the brand name. Your friend will have to hit rock bottom and that includes the credit cards before she will wake up and see the light, by then it will be to late. She thinks she's living the high life, wait until she's in the check out at a supermarket and your card is declined, lol. When she comes crying to you about it, say oh well, I could of sworn I told you so, but I'm sorry but I can't help you. I have my own family to take care of.

I think you are right. She should be cutting back as much as possible before her family has no money to work with at all. My brother-in-law and his wife are bad with money also. They buy their kids a new toy every time they go to the store and they buy brand new movies all the time, yet all their bills are way behind.

well i have a friend who is in a similar situation...she is used to buy top stuff for herself and her child... i think in my friends case, she is making an honest effort, but maybe in your friends case, she is in denial? or just doesnt get it? all you can do is suggest... you can get top stuff @ thrift stores sometimes too!!

wow she maybe trying to live a fancy life, i guess its up to you to convince or show her that things like that isn't really or does not really require you to buy the most valuable or fancy thing. Convince her to save more or better yet leave her alone and let her experience everything by hand i know its hard but what better way to realize a mistake than having to undergone it, if she really is very stubborn and doesn't listen to you.

Wow, tough situation. She shopuld have cut back the minute money stopped coming in. Do they have enough savings to live on? Or did her lifestyle not include setting some back for a time such as this? She'll get a rude wake up when she can no longer afford anything.

even if how rich a person is, he should atleast try and save something for the future. noone knows what will happen next and so, having savings in the bank will surely help. i hope your friend will realize that people do not live on expensive items alone. being happy living in simplicity and trying to save some for the future make a life worth living.

It sounds like she hasn't completely come to terms with her situation. She probably doesn't want to admit that they can no longer live the type of lifestyle that she is so used to, so she's going to continue on as if nothing is wrong. I think you should just keep talking to her and remind her that living frgually isn't a crime, nor a sin and that sometimes even the best people hit rough spots that they they must spend time conserving and spending wisely.

I have always been fairly frugal. My ideas about it all are save now so I can play later. But when money gets tight I am the first to tighten up the finances. I cant understand spending money I dont have. It is frusturating for me when I know someone close to me is having financial trouble and they are still eating from a drive up or blowing money on other thigs. $5 here and there adds up and when you need the money, you are cheating you family if you spend it. Just my opinion. It would drive me nuts.

I agree witht he posters who said you friend is probably in denial of what happened. Loosing yor job, or having the main breadwinner in your family loose his or her job can be a really traumatic thing. It brings up lots of emotions and is pretty scary. I'm not saying what your friendi s doing it right, in fact, it's the opposite of what she should be doing....but by not making any chanes to her spending habits, so is probably tying to convince herslef that things can go right along like they always have. Change is really scary. Maybe you can help by starting slowly with her. Pick one thing...say ice cream, and mention that the store brand is just as good as the name brand, or even feed her the store brand without her know and see if she can tell the difference. Perhpas there is a thrift store where she can get brand name kids clothes at thrift proces? Hoipefully soon rather than having the "spending fever" she'll have the "looking for a good deal fever".

It seems to me that your friend has two options. Option one: buy less expensive products or Option two: still buy the more expensive things, but fewer of them. When I need to take a step back and save some money, I think really carefully about what I can do without. For instance, do I need to buy that extra pair of black pants when I already have 2 pairs of different black pants? Probably not. I also think about the things that I need to buy the more expensive version of. For instance, my face wash might be more expensive, but it is the only thing that works for me. So this means that I need to cut back somewhere else. Like maybe buying less expensive cereal for breakfast...because I care about that less than my clear complexion. Perhaps you might try introducing your friend to how much fun it can be to save money and look for bargins. It's like having that "omg! look what I got on sale!" feeling over and over again. Take her to some thrift stores and maybe outlets so she can pat herself on the back for geting designer clothing cheaper. She just needs to know that she can get the things she wants, she might just have to look someplace else to get them. I think the trick is to convince her that saving money is not too hard and not a punishment. Saving money is a good habit to have for a lifetime.

It sounds almost as though she's trying to deny that their financial situation is hard right now. However, telling her that she has to conserve isn't going to do any good. Her husband is the only one who could talk to her enough to make her see sense. When someone is accustomed to living a certain lifestyle, and then that changes suddenly, they find it very hard to adapt to the new situation. Especially where finances are involved. If the situation gets extreme, maybe having a chat with her husband, and just mentioning that you're worried that she seems to be spending quite a bit even though he's out of work might help. He then might be more willing to talk to his wife. I wish them all the best of luck for the husband finding a new job soon.

If she can afford it, let her be. You are the one who thinks she doesn't have money. From my experience, more people lie about their finances than not. I have been cheated enough time in the past - believing people are quite poor when they are even richer than me. So I would say leave her be. She has money to splurge. If it is me, I can't even splurge even if I want to - I don't even have money to start with. The fact that she can continue to buy things prove that she has money stashed somewhere.

You are not the only one thinking that way. You are right, your friend should start cutting back. As a friend you may just keep reminding her, but the decision will still be on your friend. There is nothing wrong on spending to maintain the lifestyle but make sure that there is something had set aside to sustain the basic needs, education, food, shelter and have something in case of emergencies etc. I knew people like this, they spend to the last dime and most of the time spend more than the amount they earn. As a result they've been in a big debt, a reminder does not work, still doesn't realize how to save or spend wisely. So what we can do? Nothing, let them be.

No this is not normal but other then try to talk reason to her there is not much you can do . There are a lot of people who don't know how to manage there money and money seems to burn a hole in there pocket and if they have a dime they have to spend it . She is not going to change her ways until she digs herself in deep and gets a bad scare or unless someone can reason with her . Chances are she doesn't see this as a big problem and feels that she needs to do this because this is what she wants and she figures she has to have it . The most you can do as a friend is be there for her when she needs you and try to talk to her about how her spending habits are going to hurt her if she doesn't learn to manage her money . Best of luck !!

beautyqueen you could talk to your friend until you're blue in the face and it won't make a difference. It sounds like she'll have to learn the hard way. I'd be surprised if her hubby isn't already on her case about it. It's my opinion that even if you do have the money to buy name brand top of the line stuff you're better off doing what you can to save. It's not right to spend your last dime to maintain a certain lifestyle, but in this day and age it certainly seems to be the norm.

Ask her, does she want to be bankrupt? or live in a fancy place. Give her a difficult question "Its either me as your friend, or your fany lifestyle".