How to handle this situation?

It is really sad & very painful situation to be in.As you have said that you have been been verbally abused.It is really diffucukt for anybody to be in a situation like this.Actually you must tell your mother in law .If not that whole people will turn against you & it will make your life more problematic.

I am sure, it will be very hard for both of you to handle this case. because, they are older than you, and normally older having bigger ego and more power to control. and for sure, it will be a never ending problem. so i suggest you to discuss this matter to your parents, since i read that the house is equally shared-. ask your parents advice or ask parents to divide it in to two houses. or maybe if you agree to leave the house, ask for compensation (it's like you selling your part to them). make a family meeting to discuss and find a solution. No body can deal with this for long, they will wait for you to give up or you will make them leave. because i think, if only 2 persons involve it's easier, but if two families involve is harder. I think That what i can suggest you to do, to deal with this kinda situation. Dont make a negative perception, better try first to talk to your MIL. say that you need her wise decision to solve the problem.

hi Ashgun, A lot of advice is already given... I would like to add that in a quarrel people often say (or shout) more things and not in very well chosen words, than when they talk reasonably. Quarreling or fighting is just very emotional and when emotions are on the loose.... I don't see why your SIL would badmouth you with your MIL, but apparently she tends to do so. IF she does, then talk t your MIL as soon as possible. Even better: talk to you MIL (whom apparently is important to you) and tell her what hapened. That way she at least hears the story from both sides. Furthermore I agree that you should try to find your own place to live. (I take it you newly weds moved in woth your BIL and SIL). Even one room of peace and happiness can feel like a palace, where as a big house with angriness and shouting may feel like a prison...

Having more than one family living under the same roof, no matter how big the house is always a bad idea. As much as you try to compromise, eventually, both families start wishing for some peace and quiet, or one family doesn't like the way the other family does something, and so on. Then it creates a rift. My advice would be to go to your MIL first, and give her YOUR side of the story. Then at least if your SIL does go to your MIL, at least she has your side too, and she can make up her own mind. I think if you guys are living with them, it might be time to look for your own place to live. If they're living with you, then maybe you could tell them that maybe it's time for them to move on. Try to compromise in the meantime, and hopefully, things will settle down a little bit. I wish you luck.

I have to go through it with my MIL. My suggestion is to not let them get under your skin. Maybe you and your husband can get out more. Sometimes making up excuses to go run an errand that can't wait until tomorrow is a good excuse. I know that my MIL hates me with a passion and is always picking fights with me and my husband. Then soon the arguements between me and her and him and her turn towards my husband and myself and the idiot MIL turns and walks off satisfied that she started something between my hubby and I. What I would do if I were your husband and yourself is just live your life. Ir their child gets hurt that is on them because they are not paying close attention to her. I know I may sound cold and heartless, but it seems to me that your SIL and BIL don't like you and your husband around. I would suggest that you both save money and move out. I don't know your exact situation but I am offering my suggestion and to tell you that you are not alone on this in the world.

It is never easy living in the same household with another family. A lot of give and take is required from both sides to live in harmony. From what has happened, it seems there may be some underlying currents in the existing relationship, such that every little incident gives both sides the opportunity to flare up and damage the relationship further. That's how a little reprimand from your husband escalates to trading of hurtful insults from the other side. Also since you said that your BIL and SIL always fight over small matters, then by nature, they may be the quarrelsome type. So even if your husband is right in reprimanding their daughter, it is not surprising that you get this reaction from your BIL and SIL. I think you need to examine some things, such as: were you and your husband already not in good terms with your BIL and SIL previously when you first got married? Is there something that was not patched up and which cause the underlying rift to explode each time some incident like this occurs? If so, you may need to reconcile this first, and things may improve after that. Also, did your husband over-react when reprimanding their daughter, as in he may have raised his voice excessively when he could have done it more gently? This may have contributed to the negative situation. I think you and your husband should sit down with your BIL and SIL to talk things out calmly and rationally, and make an attempt at reconciliation. If it is difficult to sit down and talk, perhaps get a third party trusted by both sides to come in and mediate. Sometimes this helps. If you try these and it still does not work (because the other side refuses to be reasonable and cooperate), then one party may have to consider moving out. But I think this should be the last resort.

It's always hard when there is two families living under the same roof. Who is living with who though? Are they staying with you guys or are you staying with them? If they are staying with you, you could tell them it's time they start looking for their own place. If you stay with them, then maybe you and your husband can start looking for another place to live? SOmetimes situations like this will never work out, even more so when kids are involved. For now, I would brush it off and try to forget about everything they said and just be peaceful with one another for the time being. Hopfully soon, the living situation will change. If you don't see you or them moving anytime soon, then have a family meeting and try to set some rules down that works with everyone. If they don't like their child being yelled at, then maybe they should control their child more. SOmething has to work out here. Work together. Maybe your husband shouldn't have shouted at the child, but they were wrong for calling you and your husband all those not so nice things. Good luck!

I agree with the opinions given here by other posters. No matter how big and spacious your house is, there is no space when your living under one roof. Being as far as you can with your BIL and SIL would do a great help in fixing the tension you are encountering there. I guess you cannot prevent that from happening since they are in their territory and they have been there before you came there. So build your own nest and probably you'll find peace in building your own family.

It is always best when there are two families living under the same roof for some ground rules to be laid down. It is sad that this has happened. It generally hard enough to get along with in-laws without something like this happening. This discussion is 1 week old so I don't know if you have come to any solution yet. But with the things that were said it probably would be best if you guys found another place to live. Even if you do that you will still need to patch things up because they are part of the family and even though they should not have done you don't want to split the family up.

The best arrangement is to move out of that house as soon as you are stable enough. If that is not possible, try to let both sides cool down, then wait and see what happens. If your husband can talk it out with your MIL, so much the better. But if things worsen, then you have no other option but leave at once. Two or three families in one roof invites misunderstandings, especially if they have kids. There will always be some rooms for irritants, even how minor they may be ...so, try to discuss these things seriously with your husbands, and the best options that you can take to live in peace together.

sorry really sorry to see this !!! families on the same roof a big problem so just try to stelle down in somewhere not near yout family