Can you relate with this?
@smilingurvashi (1151)
India
June 4, 2007 1:40pm CST
"I hate the way we are living together; fighting like cats and dogs, playing the blame game, and worse, not romancing!I don’t know exactly what is going inside his mind but I obviously know what I’m thinking these days. I’m thinking of him and not what he is today but what he was a couple of years back. He used to say,” I don’t have anything but still I’m happy with you. Thank you for coming in my life.” More than his words could say, his eyes used to tell how much happy and deeply in love he was with me. He used to hug me and I felt it to be the safest place in the whole world; he used to kiss me and my spirits used to dance; he used to lift me up in his arms and I feel I’m on cloud nine; and whenever I used to keep my head on his chest I felt the world was rejoicing for us! I frequently go back to cherish these memories to fill some life in me.
Things have drastically changed now for the worse. I have not felt that I’m needed in this relationship anymore. I feel as if I’m living on someone’s mercy and not love. I feel like a burden that is being dragged, God knows why. I feel like a culprit inside a jail living without any excitement left in life. Sometimes I feel like fleeing away from the jail and sometimes ending my very own existence. But something stops me, every time. There are still some strings attached. May be my love hasn’t diluted much. I never entered this relationship to end it one day. But I’m sure the situation is forcing me to do so. I’m fighting hard with it and still hopeful enough that I’ll win. But I’m alone in this fight against destiny and seems like the whole world is against me."Do you also relate yourself with whatever I wrote above? Do you think relationships can really take such a drastic turn where you can be compelled to live in your past? Or you thinkits simply my play with words?
3 people like this
11 responses
@ibsnet (1268)
• India
4 Jun 07
Hi urvashi I feel very sad with your present situation. But I hope that is love which you are bound to still now and you can't get it forgotten. It happens in life. Don't get upset. I suggest to discuss the whole stuff with your partner on your wedding anniversary or any special day taking your own initiative and turn him on. It often happens with men that they are busy with some other tensions in life. From your post it is evident you have a deep love and use this force of love to get your partner back. I am sure Love always wins and your partner also is on the same boat. So go ahead make a plan and turn him on with your true love. Don't get upset. You will win. If won share it. Will wait for that winning post from your end.
@smilingurvashi (1151)
• India
4 Jun 07
Thanks for empathising and suggesting solutions!God bless.
1 person likes this
@smilingurvashi (1151)
• India
19 Jun 07
Its been weeks now to how I felt this way. Instead of being a quitter, i tried my best to get back those magical moments again and the good news is that I won in this fight for happiness! We are happy again. Now I know the importance of communication in a relationship.
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
4 Jun 07
I can understand how you feel. This is the married life, but it still up to the individual. My hubby is a part time musician. He always said his life starts after his boring work. For the first three years of our marriage, he played less gigs and care me more. After that, he plays on more and more gigs and leaves me at home with our daughter. Honestly he touches the instrument more than touch me. Though there are only several sentence to describe my situation, deep down you can imagine how I feel. I am still learning how to cope with him and the family. Therefore, to answer your question. I only can suggest you to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Communication plays an important role in a relationship. All the best!
@smilingurvashi (1151)
• India
16 Jun 07
yeah I'll try to communicate more with him. Let's see if it works. Thanks
@Datingtheplayer (661)
• United States
4 Jun 07
ITs difficult... all relationships go through a rough spot in time and sometimes its easier to blame your partner than admit the truth....
I have felt unneeded as well in some of my relationships and its a hard feeling, but if you feel those memories will be revisited and feelings can be rekindled then try fight through these hard times... if you don't see the relationship surviving then don't waste time suffering through it.
@smilingurvashi (1151)
• India
4 Jun 07
I can understand what you must have gone through. Even I believe that rough patches are part of relationships. Its all about trying your best to survive those times. Thanks anyway to share your feelings!
1 person likes this
@Script (592)
• Australia
5 Jun 07
Unfortunately I can complete relate to what you are living right now. Relationships are hard work and the initial thrill of being in love does wear off after time. It's sad but it's true... and that is when the real true, deep love takes over. Loving someone and knowing all their faults and having them know yours is hard. But a relationship shouldn't be so hard that it has you desperately unhappy.
All you can do is communicate with your partner how you are feeling and ask him how he is feeling also. Keep in mind you can only salvage this relationship if he wants to salvage it also. If it is that you both want to work on what is hurting both of you within the relationship then you have a shot at 'fixing' it.
Life is so short that you can't waste years of your life trying to fix something that can't be fixed. You both deserve happiness, and maybe if you can't have that happiness together it might be time to part. I appologise for making the situation sound so simplistic when I know in reality it is anything but... be true to yourself and heart and you will be more than fine. And above all else be kind to each other.
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
I fell very sad about what's been going with you right now. I seems It reminds me of something In the past. I'm already done In that situation and I've succesfully pass the situation calmly and peacefully. I know what you really felt about it but maybe you should fight the feeling for it will make you fall and ended up as a looser. Maybe you should prayed a lot to give strenght to fight this and have faith that there is a time you will conquere and win this situation.
@toe_ster (770)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I was told that the falling in love stage lasts about 2 years. If after that first initial 'falling' part we don't gind something of more substance then it is not going to last. When you fall in love with someone you have your blinders on your eyes. You overlook their faults and negativities, because they are so perfect and romantic. At about the 2 year stage the blinders start to come off. You start to see the flaws and the arguing starts. Those 'in love' feelings seem to vanish and nobody really understands what happened. It was so good! How did it get like this? It is just that reality sets in. There is a book I was told to read called 'The five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. You might find it very helpful if you want to work it out with this person.
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
I believe that love don't always last that long...Men seems to have not much contentment in life...Not all but some men. Once upon a time they love you with all their heart but then when time pass these men turns to better to worst...Love is there but they can't control themselves to look for others or flirt with others...Sometimes love fades but if there is sacrifice and understanding sometimes it works for the better...but not always...I felt once that way with my husband...I tried sacrifice,understanding and forgiveness...sometimes I regret it but I know I do it more for the kids and not for myself...
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
It breaks my heart because I completely understand the discussion you have.It is because i can relate it.And i personally experienced it with my xhusband. Its not an easy situation. It can kill, and it can drag your soul in a place call hell.
We have our own choices. Though we need to sacrifice many things but we also need to love ourself.We only live in a short period of time, could we allow this to happen and be sad for the rest of our life just for the sake of holding on the "marriage"...? Damn!!!Love is give and take...It takes tango and it takes two to survive!!!
I had already my choices and here i am happy!!!I dont regret anything because, its been 4 years now, and my life is more happier than with him which he only brings out the worst in me!!!Now i know that i am more a better person compare before. Thaks God!!!
@cherriemae (3370)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
i'm sorry of what had happening to you this time friend..but in a relationship there are really situations that come into that moment that do you think that you know him that much, that everything would be as sweet as what you've thinking..but i think you need to have more patients when it comes to relationship because if you don't have, things will go into worst and may end into nothing..i can relate with that kind of experience and we end up with separation..were not living together but we have child and the time comes that were not in love with each other, and he leaves me when i'm still pregnant..but i believe that it's part of a relationship, that sweetness may disappear but need to move on..
@yellowgirl (7)
• Ireland
5 Jun 07
hi you sound exactly how i felt a few months ago but I was unable to stay ina relationship like that. I still love and probably always will but i was very unhappy and so was he i was so unhappy a few months ago I took an overdose and plunged into serious depression. I could not stay in this relationship. I recently left and know it was the right decision. even though we have to kids together. I know I made the right decision. everyone handles situations differently.
