The Cat's Bill Of Rights

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I just got this book from the library called "Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover's Soul" in that famous Chicken Soup series started by Jack Canfield and this one section was hilarious so I thought I'd share it with you. In the book it's on page 195, and here's a link to the website that posts the words: http://www.fromtheheartpostcards.com/ICQ/CatBillofRights.html I AM THE CAT AND I HAVE CERTAIN INALIENABLE RIGHTS:I have the right to walk over your face anytime I wish, day or night. I have the right to observe and comment on any and all bathroom behavior. Further, I have the right to be highly offended by any closed door. I have the right to smell your shoes to determine if you have been fraternizing or cavorting or frolicking with any highly questionable animals. I have the right to assist in any food preparation, cooking, cleaning or eating event that may occur in the home. I have the right to wake you at three in the morning if I find my food dish is not to my satisfaction. I have the right to tip over any water container I deem unsuitable for consumption. I have the right to meow at squirrels and birds that may dare to pass my windows. I have the right to inspect any grocery items that come into the home. Further, I have the right to inhabit any paper bag or cardboard box that you bring home for as long as I wish. I have the right to nap at any time and place I darn well please, without the distraction of being called or moved just because you want to sit down, wash your hands or use your computer keyboard. I have the right to assist in the changing of bed linens and to chase the phantom creatures that hide beneath the sheets. I have the right to look aloof when scolded for mistaking your toes for one of those pesky phantom creatures that hide beneath the sheets. I have the right to kill paper towel rolls that otherwise might sneak up on you. I have the right to sleep on top of any appliance that is warm. I have the right to your complete attention anytime you sit down to read or work. And, finally, I have the right to be loved, petted, pampered, and entertained, for, as you know, the best things in life ... purr. And, should you err in your ways, I will graciously forgive you. After all, you are only human, but I love you anyway. Signed, The CAT See how many you can identify with