You don't like your son/daughter's fiance...
By rtydata
@rtydata (80)
Philippines
June 5, 2007 1:59am CST
Your son/daughter is getting married soon. He/she is deeply in love with this soon to be partner. But this girl/boy has a different relation with you. You just don;t seem to click at all. She/he shows you a different attitude when your child is not around. Do you make a move and tell your child that the person he/she is about to marry may not be the right one? Can you bear to see his/her happiness disappear just like that? Or do you stay mum about it and be a monster in law later (haha). I'm curious to know what you guys would do. I would probably tell my daughter if her fiance approaches me with a different attitude when she's not around. I can't stand people who pretend. And I'm not about to hand off my daughter to someone who's just going to hurt her and her family later.
3 people like this
7 responses
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
5 Jun 07
I would tend to agree with you also. I would probably tell my son and let him make up his own mind. He might think that I am meddling in his personal affairs so I would just quietly and nicely tell him what she is like when he is not around and then for him to make up his own mind. My son's happiness is more important to me than my own :)
2 people like this
@ajinomoto23 (1057)
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
There are many tragic stories about chosing a wrong mate. The problem is parents can only guide who their children should choose to be their life time companion.
@pinks0da (328)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
That's hard, proving of something not so good about a person to someone who adores him/her. If I would be the parent, perhaps I would find a way for my son/daughter to see that side of her/his fiance but not by saying it to him/her because my child would think I am overacting or being paranoid. Meanwhile, if I see that my child really loves the other person then I would not be a hindrance to that. My kids are handfuls yet and that would be way later than sooner, but if it's gonna be their turn, I trust that they would really know the person they will be marrying. :)
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
We want to raise our children and give them the best of everything. We teach them what is right and what is wrong and hope that when the time comes they would make the right choices. In case they make the wrong choices or decisions, I just let them learn their lessons no matter how hurtful it may be. They have lessons to learn and life to lead and with that they would have stronger characters.
So to answer your question, I would talk with the fiancee and ask what the problem is and if we could work it out. If not, I would tell my daughter about our differences and leave the rest to her. I would trust her enough to do the right things and make the decision based on the strenght of her conviction.
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
5 Jun 07
While, I would and have told my children about these types of things.....be prepared that at the time...your son/daughter may be temporarily blinded and will not respect your wishes in this matter......sometimes, we all have to learn some things on our own...
Be strong, and remember that just becaue they do not chance their plans...does not mean that they do not love you...and that they will need you when things blow up in thier face.......
Take care, my friend.
@arianasmum (223)
• New Zealand
7 Jun 07
Unfortunately this is a tough call but I wouldnt say anything my mum did I didnt listen and found out the hard way. If I had listened to my mum things wouldve been different but I would not of had a beautiful daughter now a teenager so some good does come out of some bad. My child will learn for themselves as I did.
