how to explain to kids that mummy and daddy are no longer together.

Where is the father right now? You and him need to both sit down and explain to them in terms that they understand that you and him are no longer staying together. You should do this at a neutral envrionment like the park or something. Let them know that you and your ex still love both of them very much but you both decided it was better to be apart. Offer this suggestion to your ex and see what he says. If he is a dink and wants to ignore his responsibility as a father, then it is up to you to let them know that you and him are no longer living together, but the both of you still love them so much and that you are glad that they are in your lives.

We share the same sentiments yellowgirl..Just like you i've ended a relationship, not recently but for almost 5 years now. It's kinda hard in the sense that you'll be making lots of adjustments. More so with the kids. If you both still love each other i see no reason why you cant patch up but if you think that things will not wok out then just let it go.Life must go on just try to think that you are not the only one who happens to have this kind of situation. As of now, I dont think that your kids are ready enough to understand everything but in God's time little by little as they grow older you'll be able to expalin to them the real score. I guess the best way now is to compromise with their dad on how your set up would be when it comes to the needs of your kids, morally and financially. However if those would be impossible then the loads of the burden will be yours. Thats the hardest part of being a mother. But i know you will, just continue to shower them your love and affection coz right now thats the only thing they need and of course the assurance that even if they wont be seing their dad often you are there for them. Just be strong and for as long as anyone of you has no plans yet of making legal actions regarding this matter..reconcillation is always possible. right? so continue believing in yourself..

With or without your ex, explain to the children that mummy and daddy have decided to make some changes. One of the changes is to not live together anymore. Reassure that this change is NOT their fault. In fact, over the next several years, you may have to remind your children many times that this decision is not their fault. Remind them that this decision was made so everyone could be happy. Yes, they will miss him. Redivert that feeling into something productive. Suggest to the children that when they are missing their father they should draw a picture or write a story or make a craft item. Then put all of these special projects into a box mark Memories. When they get older, they can go through the box alone, with you or with their father to see how their feelings had changed over time. This will help them to express their feelings of lose, anger, love, and even grief. Look for other healthy ways for the children to express their feelings such as playing ball, swimming.

I have gone through this twice. First with my first husband who is my daughters natural father and my second husband who raised her from the time she was two until she was 11. Both were very heart breaking situations. The 18 month old probably won't understand the entire concept right now and the 3 year old will have a hard time understanding it, but not impossible. Being honest is the best thing to do in any case. I got a book from the library to help explain it in terms my daughter could understand. You can read the book with them and there are pictures to also assist. There are books like "Moms House Dads House" or KoKo Bears: It's Not Your Fault (this one teaches about divorce and it helps the kids understand that it is not their fault, but yours and their dads decision to go seperate ways.) Try that and see if that works. Take care and keep your chin up!

I am so sorry to hear that. It's very tough. I think your children have the rights to see their dad and spend some time to stay with him. Please tell your children even if dad won't live with them any more, but you and he still love them very much.

well i think that you should talk to your ex and ask him that he should be considerate at times when you needed to call him during inconvenient times when the kids wants to see him. Though its hard on your part but try to put pictures of him on their rooms so that they would feel that somehow he's still around and that they would feel secure that whatever happens their father is still there for them despite the circumstances that happened between you and him...just try to sacrifice a little bit for them, though its really hard on your part but I know that time would come when your kids will understand the situation..kids are smart nowadays so I know they would understand you eventually.