Is it best to get out of a relationship when the feelings die?
By ESKARENA1
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
16 responses
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
my professor said that once the love is nowhere too be found in a relationship, you have to let go. Don't wait for anytime for the time is now. You need not to get the exact time and place. If you feel that the love is gone, say it immediately. Don't let the other person hope for nothing.
In your friend's case, it is a very difficult situation since marriage is in the middle. If there's really no love, then maybe think and think and think again maybe there's a solution but if there really is nothing, then let go and have a divorce. sounds easy to do but actually, very difficult for it can be a broken family.
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
5 Jun 07
yes i know it must be extremely difficult for her, thank all the gods that im not in it, lol. However, she clings on
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
5 Jun 07
yes i truely hope she does find happiness but i cant see how
1 person likes this
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
yes being in a situation like that is very hard to handle. maybe she's there because God knows that she can surpass all those problems. God Bless her and Good luck to her. I hope her happiness in life soon. =)
1 person likes this
![](/Content/images/ajax-loader.gif)
![](/Content/images/ajax-loader.gif)
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
5 Jun 07
im coming round to it. In truth i think she stays because she wants to, nothing more
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
5 Jun 07
i tell her this almost everyt day but she finds excuses to stay, the latest one is that she has worked hard to build her life style up and cant just walk out
1 person likes this
![](/Content/images/ajax-loader.gif)
@lonely_f16 (2146)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
yes, I think when two people do not love each other, It would be twice harder for them to cope with the day to day problems as husband and wife. I bet he is really sad despite having a family and into marriage. Everyone deserves to be happy like what they say.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
5 Jun 07
she will tell me long and hard how unhappy she is, how she is in a living hell, but has stayed for over 30 years
@lonely_f16 (2146)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
I hope she doesn't regret it. I mean you just live once in your lifetime but then maybe she hasn't loved a guy yet so she stayed or am I wrong?
1 person likes this
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
30 years of hardships is so long! I think your friend really needs to make a decision now and be happy. =)
1 person likes this
@rb200406 (1824)
• India
11 Jun 07
Many persons are stuck in thse types of situation.actually many don't come out of this sometimes for family,sometimes for any other pressures or just plain don't have guts.But any way this depends on the person.If a person can live in a realtionsip just for sake of it without love,its there choice.Yes it is difficlut but one has to think sometimes otherwise .But if the situation is very bad than it is better to end it.
1 person likes this
@donsky14 (5947)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
No...its useless. Whats the point of staying in a relationship if you don't love the person anymore, right? For me, I think she should think of her own happiness as well. She's the one whose gonna live with this person for the rest of her days. She should really think about that.
@sandwedge (1339)
• Malaysia
6 Jun 07
work on the marriage. it happens to most couples. its just all the interference like work, children, community that inserts itself between couples. the feelings never die. once the couple separates or divorce, then they REMEMBER the love they felt for the opther but pride will stop both from speaking it out.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
6 Jun 07
but surely if she is unable to be who she is in the marriage, she is unable to express herself, shouldnt she leave?
![](/Content/images/ajax-loader.gif)
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
5 Jun 07
Honestly I dont think it is healthy to stay in a loveless relstionship at all. To be honest your friend should leave as soon as they can so that both of them can move on with there lives.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
5 Jun 07
yes i agree but she has so many excuses its difficult to get through it all. Its as though she really wants to stay
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
5 Jun 07
I was married once and it was definitely a loveless marriage and so very hard to stay in it for the children, I tried for a few years but I finally gave up and thought anything has to be better than that, it is so awful to be unwanted in a relationship, much less a marriage. I would say no, get out while you can, be free to live your life and feel the love that you have been missing for so many years.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
5 Jun 07
she has grandchildren and an extended family, all of which think she is happy, but she cries and tells me how unhappy she is
@arpita_onlinejob (508)
• India
5 Jun 07
i dont think we should continue with the relation.we shouldnt break for silly reasons but because of family staying inthe relation is stupid. i would never continue if my relation was no working.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
5 Jun 07
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Alot of people stay in an loveless relationship for many reasons. I do not believe in it at all. I think if the both of you are unhappy with each otherm then it is time to separate from one another and try to find happiness in some other way. It is not healthy to stay in a relationship when no feelings are there.
1 person likes this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
6 Jun 07
Hello,eskarena,if the feelings die,I think the relationship will be boring and it will be hard for both parties to stay in relationship,if the couples do not have children,it may be better for them to separate if they have try hard to keep the relationship but fail.
If they have children,it may be the problem of responsibility that they want to stay in relationship,if you consider this as well,it may be better not to get out of relationship.
Anyway,I think it depends on situations.
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
6 Jun 07
well, althgough there are no young children involved it is a very complex situation and not one she can walk away from easily
@derek_a (10874)
•
5 Jun 07
I would say your friend needs to focus on this question and exclude all other thoughts from her mind for about ½ hour a day for a month. Then she should get her answer coming to her spontaenously. I would never recommend hurry on these questions and whilst she feels she has to ask advice, do nothing but wait and ask her self. Best advice in the world, is not take advice - the answer is in the question and it needs to be asked with a degree of intensity.
I say this because being in a loveless marriage is obviously her karma at work, and to act rashly, she would at some time only end up having to learn this lesson again. She needs to transcend the dilemma she is in. It may not be what she wants, but it would be what she needs - want and need are two different things.
Karma is never easy, and the lessons it teaches are not easy either, otherwise we would all die of boredom :-)
1 person likes this
@maiax2k6 (535)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
"Life's too short, get a divorce", so does a billboard say. maybe the statement's done with pure humor, but there's a lot of truth in it,where our seekings and longings are directed towards our peace and happiness and contentment if not for the lesser headaches and heartaches and pains.
I have been in the same situation as your friend and it's never been easy especially with children and societal or religious pressures. One has to try, and exhaust all means in fixing the marriage and that is just what i did for long. but there can only be enough efforts to be done. At one time, you just have to say goodbye to things that can never be fixed. I then believed in the saying "to pray for courage to change the things you can, and acceptance for the things you cannot change". i'm not saying that i have already passed with flying colors. me and my kids are still in the process of coping - but this i say, that when i made that steadfast decision to leave the marriage as against people frowning on this unpopular choice, if only for myself, it was one of the best decisions i've ever made - hence we're now better off in many aspects. there's no more quarrels in the family, no more struggles, we have moved on and looking for better things. i think that your friend likewise deserves a second chance at happiness, and of feeling feeling right in a relationship if this comes along. she has to make a decision for herself and not to be pressured by other people's thoughts because afterall, it is her life that she has to take care of too.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
6 Jun 07
i really couldnt have said it any beter, you are exactly right, at the end of it all it has to be her decision for whatever the reason
blessed be
@Luckywuyan (360)
• China
6 Jun 07
i've never being in a marriage ,but i just think if i were the person ,i would get out of the relationship.
a loveless marriage can not exist too long,and it will add the twice bitter to the two ,so how should we suffer this? so i prefer to edd this and chase another happy one?
that is just my opinion,maybe that is a little childish,i have no experience.
anyway,thank you for asking ,my friend.
1 person likes this
@jazmin08 (173)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
yes, get out of it coz you'll end up feeling sorry for your partner.without love whats the essences of your relationship.
![](/Content/images/loading.gif)