Do you tell your children to hit back if somebody hits them?

I tell my kids that it is never ok to hit. If someone hits them, I tell them walk away or if it continues to tell an adult. There was a boy on my sons bus that was kicking him and hitting him repeatedly. My son didn't tell us but he told his teacher (she called us) and she sat him down and talked to him about it. He didn't do it again. Had my son hit him back, it may have continued and most likely he eventually would have gotten in trouble too.

we took our eldest daughter for karate lessons for just this reason, if anyone tries to hurt her she will hit back and hit back hard. She knows to do this first blessed be

when i was younger, my parents always tell us to defend ourselves physically if necessary. we were taught that there are times when the solution is not to hit back but there are other ways to do it. and so, in my life, even if others really hurt me a lot, i never hit back. instead, when in school, i go to the teachers and tell them about what happened. the other (my enemy) and i will then be ushered to the prefect of dicsipline's office where we can talk better about the situation. and gladly, i always end up the winner! yehey! and the other getting punished. atleast, in that way, i did it in a good way. however, as i have said, there are instances when defending ourselves by hitting back is necessary. just that i haven't been into such a situation yet... hopefully, never. have a nice day! anne

If they are beating the child, and they are beating them badly, then yes, fight back.

I taught my son to defend himself but to also choose alternative ways of settling an argument, adults don't go around pounding each other into the ground because they can't agree.

No, my 7 year old is not confrontational at all, and hasn't had any problems, however my 5 year old was sent home 3 times this year for hitting other kids when they disagreed. I am working hard with him on keeping his hands to himself. He has never been hit at school, but I wouldn't want him to hit back, not sure what I would do! A child kept teasing him at school and flicking him in the back and he wouldn't stop, and my boy turned around and slapped him, and got sent home.I told him he needed to use his words and tell the teachers what was going on, that's what they are there for. I dont know how I would feel though if my son was being hurt/teased on a regular basis.

Yes I always did tell my Kids to defend themselves if they got hit But I have to say not one of mine came back that smart lol

it is a different way for me. i told my kids to tell me immediately if somebody picks on them. they must never fight back by themselves because, they can get badly hurt in the process. when this happens i talk to the teacher or the school principal then, the child will be called and i talk to the child. i would like to know why he did so. if he says that it was my child at fault, my child will be called in, too. i want to be fully clarified on things. if i find out that the child is a bully, i will face the child's parents at the principal's office. these steps are important to observe. lots of bullies are put in check this way. besides, we just don't know how many more children we have spared from quarrels and more difficult incidents by doing this. believe me when i tell you that some kids even regard what i do with respect. there are some who recalls how much i have helped them with their bad behavior checked and cut for good.

My mother was a minister and she taught us never to fight back, but to tell the teacher. All this did was cause us to get beat up more. Every now and then, she would come down and speak up and we would get beat up some more. Elementary was very hard for my two sisters and I. We got beat up just about every day. The worst part about it was that we got beat up just for being us. They called us homie, back then, this was not a good thing to be called. We stuck out like sore thumbs and a lot of the kids teased and picked on us. This did a lot of damage to our self-esteem and I for one, still have not recovered from the things that went on back then. I am a big girl now and can easily hurt someone, but I still do not like to fight. Now that I am older, I don't get into many fights. The funny thing though is that my best friend is a big bully. She use to hang out in the street and she has been in jail and was put in the hole for like three weeks for fighting. So at first she would always try to fight me, when we got into an arguement. One day, I playfully hit her and she turned around and hit me three times, so hard that I was almost crying, but I didn't want to fight, so I simply walked away. Then not to long ago, we were playing around in my apartment and I put her in a choke hold and slung her on my bed and it scared her good. Now when I talk about fighting she gets all upset and wants to change the subject. One day she was playing and talking mess to me. I told her that I was going to put her in a choke hold again. She said, "No, we are not going to play sling the Leslie anymore." That made me laugh and it also made me feel good, one because I knew that I could protect myself if I had to and two because I didn't have to worry about her trying to bully me anymore. She says that she always knew what I was capable of, but I had just never used it before. I don't care what kind of B.S she comes up with just as long as she leaves me alone. With friends like that, I couldn't afford any enemies, but we are both learning from each other and becoming better people.

Hi disvachic, how are you? Well, I have always raised my children and my granddaughter to keep their hands to themselves. But a few years ago we had an incident of a little girl bullying my granddaughter. She used to come home and tell me how this little girl always hit her. I went to the school and complained that my granddaughter was not hitting this child and they needed to speak to the parents, or I would. After that, my granddaughter came home and talked to me over dinner to tell me that the girl hit her again. My granddaughter started crying and she said..."Mommy, I don't bother her and she hit me in the face and I went away from her and she followed me and hit me again"...Why does she keep hitting me?" Needless to say, I was livid!!!! I told my granddaughter that if the little girl hit her again she had my permission to smack her back. I was so angry seeing my granddaughter in tears. Well, a few days later the little girl hit my granddaughter again...BAM!!!! She got hit back and she never hit my granddaughter again, I went to the school when they called me and explained what I told my granddaughter. They couldn't say anything, I had spoken to them numerous times and they knew it. Today, it is about 4 years later and the girls are friends now...I teach her right but wrong is wrong. Also the little girls parents have numerous issues in their lives and the child is only acting out, but she can't use my granddaughter to release her anger. Children need to be taught to be nice and respectful but they also need to know that they are not to be a bully's target. Your son just did what you told him to...Mom said it was ok to defend himself and perhaps the other child hit him too hard or in the wrong place to call it play...Nice discussion, take care disvachic!

I have always been told to hit back also. And first, it was very hard to me, so other guy mad fun on me. Finally, I learnt the lesson by myself and started to make others respect me. So I think it is good to tell childrens to hit back, if they have a moral sense about justice and when the other deserves a hit...

My son is only 15 months old so he is not old enough to understand yet but I plan on teaching him to defend himself. I think every child should be taught to defend themselves otherwise they will be bullied. I will make it clear that he should NOT hit anyone unless someone does it first and it's out of self defense. It's what my mother taught me and I plan on doing the same.

Dear Friend, I will never tell my chidren something like that. They will be used to take revenges if i tell them to do so. That's the starting point of revenge as far as i concern Thanks

i think your son is so cute and funny story and sad

I will tell them to fight but just if they cant resolve the situation with peacefull tools. It`s allways better to avoid conflicts.

girl see that is how kids are. that is why when i talk to my son i go step by step so that i don't forget something and he can't use that with me. first i tell him if someone bothers you tell the teacher. if they don't do anything tell the main office and make sure you tell me. if the adults at school are not taking car of it then if this kids bothers you again, kick his A$$. then tell the teachers your mother said it was ok. i want him to tell every possible adult and teacher first. make sure they know that he is putting his hands on you. he has a cell so he can call me if anything goes down. my son is kind of a big kid and the other kids do pick on him at times. but he is no punk. and i don't want him to get hurt or hurt anyone. and i tell him no fighting in school. no play fighting and for sure no real fighting. it can be a bit much with boys, but you just have to keep your foot up their behinds!

Yes, unless and untill he is innocent and wrong.

i don't have any kids but my mothers friends kids come over all the time and she has two lil girls and the youngest tells us almost everyday that these kids keep beating her up. we tell her on a regular if he/she (cuz its a boy and girl that beat her up) hit them back. she never does it she says if she hits them she's goin get in trouble. she says she's better off tellin the teacher (mind u she's only 6) but i guess the teacher isn't doing anything because its been goin on for months. so i think i'll be teach my kids when i have them hit them before they get the chance to hit u and if they hit u knock them out just until they get to high school.

LOL Isn't funny how kids can be so smart this days? But irritating at the same time!

I feel kids should never be told to hit back, even when they are playing. If anything serious happens they will be equally implicated even though they were not the ones who hit first. You should perhaps tell him to report to an adult of who hit him so actions could be taken on him?