Parents Using Children Against Parents
By kbourgerie
@kbourgerie (8780)
United States
June 7, 2007 2:28pm CST
Something is really bothering me today. My ex and I split up after 9 years. Its a long story, but he has custody of my daughter and I have custody of my son. I really take issue with the way he uses my daughter as a tool to manipulate my life. He knows I won't move away or do anything that would jeopardize my relationship with her and he takes full advantage of his position. Although he has made it quite clear that the relationship is over, he uses my seeing my daughter as a pawn in keeping me close. How would one put it? He doesn't want me, but doesn't want anyone else to have me. What he doesn't realize it that it does affect my daughter and my son and that he should learn to keep the two seperate for their sake.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@lifeis2good (1183)
• United States
7 Jun 07
While I don't have any experience in being divorced - I can say that is alway awful to hear!!! So sorry you are having to deal with this - must be so rough for you!! But remember that your daughter when grown up will realize what he has done and won't like him for it at all!!! Kids are really in tune to what's going on around them. So they will see how the situation is being played around them. Remember you are the one who is smart enough to do the right thing and not use either of your children as a pawn.
Hope things begin to lookup for you!!!!
@kbourgerie (8780)
• United States
7 Jun 07
Thank you so much for the support. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
1 person likes this
@lifeis2good (1183)
• United States
7 Jun 07
Anytime - always happy to share with what knowledge I may have. And I have found that even if I don't share the same experience - I can still be there for someone knowing that I would want the same support from others as well. It always helps to have others to speak to about issues that are going on in our lives. Sending you a Great Big Hug and Good Vibes!!!!
@StillAlive (45)
• United States
4 Feb 08
hello I can relate I have a 5 year old daughter and left the home when she was 1 year old.It is tough to feel that I have to jump through hoops to see My girl. It appears as though you have Quite the situation. I feared her finding somebody else and all the other stuff that goes along with it. What can I do better? where can I be a better father? how can I make changes to keep my daughter stable? These are what's important.Maybe you are building monsters! Maybe your not that important. Also in keeping it between you and him it takes away from the little ones who believe me are shook up enough without all the tension fron mommy and daddy.When I see her with my Ex I do my best not to argue or fight because she absorbs it and she acts different when we fight.Please take your own advice and just do the best you can we can't change people, but we can change and you can make a differenc, I promise.
@kbourgerie (8780)
• United States
4 Feb 08
Thank you so much for your support. After quite some time I finally have my 11 year old son living back with me and that is joyous for me, but I do miss my daughter so. All I can do is hope and wait.
@StillAlive (45)
• United States
4 Feb 08
hello I can relate I have a 5 year old daughter and left the home when she was 1 year old.It is tough to feel that I have to jump through hoops to see My girl. It appears as though you have Quite the situation. I feared her finding somebody else and all the other stuff that goes along with it. What can I do better? where can I be a better father? how can I make changes to keep my daughter stable? These are what's important.Maybe you are building monsters! Maybe your not that important. Also in keeping it between you and him it takes away from the little ones who believe me are shook up enough without all the tension fron mommy and daddy.When I see her with my Ex I do my best not to argue or fight because she absorbs it and she acts different when we fight.Please take your own advice and just do the best you can we can't change people, but we can change and you can make a differenc, I promise.
