Does it matter if your lover has been 'around the block'??
By mean_queen
@mean_queen (1713)
Malaysia
June 10, 2007 7:37am CST
In today's world, it's only common that your lover has already slept with someone else. So that means you're not the first. Doesn't really matter, right?? Or does it?? How 'experienced' does he/she have to be to actually turn you off? Some people might not really mind if there have been 2 or 3 or maybe even 4 before you. But what about 7? or 10? Would you feel insecure? But let's face it, if there did happen to be that many, you might not know about it~! LOL~! So in reality, how many is too many for you??? And why?
7 people like this
14 responses
@eachen2002 (889)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Maybe it's being a little shallow,but if i really like the guy.The only thing I really care about is that he's with me.I don't want to want compete with anyone else and if the guy if feels that insecure about who I've been with then maybe it's not right for us.
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
11 Jun 07
I don't think being in love is shallow at all... Some might think so, I guess but it's perfectly normal.. thanks for your response~! ;)
@helloravinder (433)
• India
11 Jun 07
I think it doesn't matter that with how many your partner slept with before you if he/she informs you before making a relation with you. But if he tried or try to hide something then its better to kick him/ her out.
1 person likes this
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
11 Jun 07
Yeah.. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a guy and suddenly he tells me he's slept with 20 girls in the past~! LOL.. It's better to find out beforehand.. But then again, if I'm already so much in love with him, maybe I'll just let it past.. Well, after I make sure I'm safe from any diseases that is! LOL..
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Yes, it would matter to me if my husband had been "around the block". As it is I got turned off a bit when I found out my husband had slept with one other girl. 15 years later I still get a little jealous that I was not my husband's first. And knowing that he and another girl did "it" gives me a grossed out feeling, so I try not to think about it, though I can't help feeling this way every once in a while.
By the way, thanks a lot for bringing this question up. Now I feel grossed out all over again. Yuck!
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
15 Jun 07
Awww.. I'm sorry~! If it really is important that you be the first, then I guess I would understand why you're so P.O'd. Well, try to think on the bright side of things. He's all yours now right? And if it's been 15 years already, maybe he doesn't even remember that other person.. Okay, I'll stop before I do any more damage! :P
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
15 Jun 07
No need to be sorry mean_queen. You were just asking a question. Yep, he's all mine now. I know that's all that really matters, but sometimes it still bothers me. And even though he only had one partner before me, who is to say how many partners that girl had before him.
Look at it this way, if one person had a total of 2 or more partners and their partners each had 2 or more partners, and those partners each had two or more partners, the list could go on and on. In a way everybody would be doing everybody else. In this day and age isn't anybody worried about diseases or even morals for that matter? All people seem to care about is jumping each others bones (the majority of them anyway), and making love to that one special person is a thing of the past...
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
10 Jun 07
It doesn't matter to me. My partner is 8 years older than myself, I expected that he had a full life before we met. I guess if it were an incrediably high number; say they were in the 20s and had been with 100s of people I'd be concerned. It would suggest to me that they didn't have much self-respect & just slept with anyone.
1 person likes this
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
10 Jun 07
yeah, you do have a point there~! thanks for responding~! :)
@8ctavarium (552)
• Australia
11 Jun 07
It doesn't really matter, as long as it wasn't done randomly and that it had happened during a past relationship and not a late night out. After all, if you and your partner were together and went 'around the block', that wouldnt seem wrong would it?
1 person likes this
@fleur_petal (883)
• India
10 Jun 07
well in todays wrld its really diff to find a person who hsnt slept around may it be in a fling or serious relationship or one night stand. but 4 me if my guy hs slept around wt mre thn 3 gals thn i wud surely bid him farewell. i thnk till 3 its ok not mre thn tht plz.
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
10 Jun 07
I wouldn't mind if my girl has had some experience before me. But I would appreciate it if she would be honest about it and tell me about it. More importantly, she should not sleep around while she's committed to me.
@bluishrose (2289)
• Philippines
10 Jun 07
Yes totally agree! It would be nice if the guy is experienced and would really satisfy each other.
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
10 Jun 07
LOL~! Yes, many would certainly love the more experienced ones. With that said, just make sure we're all taken care of and no diseases are transmitted! =P
@ChampagneGiggles (699)
• United States
15 Jun 07
Honestly, other than health reasons, it really does not matter who my fiance slept with in the past, as long as he doesn't still do it. He was married once before and is into 'free living' so I know he's seen a bit, but we have roughly the same number so it's not a big deal. I think as long as yall are about on the same level it's ok.
@bluishrose (2289)
• Philippines
10 Jun 07
well for me i don't mind how many girls he has slept with as long as he makes sure that i'm gonna be the last. There's realy no harm if he sleeps with many girls "before" so its the past already.
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
10 Jun 07
you're right.. i guess being the last is what matters.. :) thanks for responding..
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
11 Jun 07
Well, if you prefer being the one in command, then yeah..it is better.. LOL~! ;D
@jolenegreen (1209)
• United States
10 Jun 07
This is a great question! LOL. My husband was my first, as was I his. If he were to tell me today that there were other girls before me I think I would be a little Jelous or mad! LOL. But I dont know if it is only becuase we have been together for sooo long or what. But I think that TODAY if I just met him and he told me...Hey ive slept with like 10 girls. I dont think I would care. He was single right? It dont matter to me. Does this make sense? LOL
I guess what I am trying to say is as long as they are single, why does it matter. Hey they get a little then they do, if not then OH WELL...LOL
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
11 Jun 07
LOL.. yeah, it makes perfect sense jolenegreen.. I can see your point. I don't think I'd react any differently if I were you too.. thanks for your response.. :)
@katke84 (21)
• United States
11 Jun 07
It doesn't matter to me. My husband has been amrried before me, and after his divorce, I know that he went through a period of "going around the block"...lol.
It matters to me how he is NOW. I know that he'd never cheat on me, so his previous experience is irrelevant. I'm happy with him, he's happy with me, and I'm focusing on OUR life together...not the life that he may have had with someone before me, if that makes sense.
I think it is what you make of it. You can choose to focus on the present/future, or you can dwell on the past and be miserable. I choose the present. :)
