Is it wrong being straight-forward?
By msvenzon
@msvenzon (424)
Philippines
June 10, 2007 10:24pm CST
I usually get the wrong impression from people because I am straight forward when I say things. They see me as someone mean or rude when all I want to be is being real. I really don't like the idea of pretending or lying just to please others, it's not me. I believe not saying what is true or lying is being hypocrite.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@titaniumsoul (1191)
• Singapore
11 Jun 07
hi msvenzon,
I agree with you on being straightforward. I am a straight-forward person too. I understand people view me as being rude, impolite and etc so they can have a chance to get back to me. In addition, my friends are allowed to take revenge on me if I say anything that hit the nail.
In actual fact, people will defend themselves respectively in times of danger and trouble, so being straight-forward is nothing.
@titaniumsoul (1191)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
Recently, I read an article in the newspaper, it says that currently, graduates are liars to their resumes in order to get the job. Instead of having 3 years of experience, they claim that they have 5 years of working experience and that is the point which I can't take it anymore. Why just can't people be honest to themselves?
@pallidyne (858)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Well, most people expect everyone else to be politically correct in following whatever else is happening.
However, there IS a way of being straightforward and tactful at the same time. This was a hard lesson for me to learn in the corporate world. I had to stop gnashing my teeth and yelling over my cube wall, "You're solution is stupid!" to, "I really don't think that's a good (or the best) way to come at this problem."
And as I really don't know your culture down there, is it expected for women to not be as direct as men there? I've been in offices where that was the case-- led to some serious gender based tension, but it was there..
@msvenzon (424)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
Well, of course it does depend on the situation or place. And I don't think it's based in our culture if women shouldn't be too direct when saying something. It really does concern talking to people around your neighborhood, people you deal with everyday or even family or relatives.
@pramodthakur (2365)
• India
12 Jun 07
I love straight forward people. They are clear on every thing. Whatever they say, are nearer to fact. They keep nothing in mind. I find such person kind hearted and open minded. Such guys are fast decisive also. Do not comment anything on any subject. First appraise the matter then only comment but once commented be firm on their decision. But the world do not bother such person. A person giving false assurance is right person, mass think so. Because such person are soft-spoken. Do not try to heart anybody. By their sweet words, they win the confidence of mass. Whereas straight forward people have les friends. No matter for me. I am too straight forward.
@djmarion (4898)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
i have the same experience cause honestly speaking im also frank,, brutally frank especially if i dislike whats happening. i would always voice out my opinion and i wont care if they would all oppose me just as long as i know im on the right track.
but you know i realize that its not always good to say things because you know its true. sometimes we also need to obey, pretend if we must just to show respect or simply just to end up the argument.
@derek_a (10873)
•
11 Jun 07
I agree with you. I need to get past pretence and get real. Reality is truth and if someone dislikes you because you speak truly, then what they are asking you to do, is going along with their lies and pretence. Would a true friend really like you as a liar?
On the other hand, some people cannot take truth - they may be too ill or too emotional or weak. Then I would not say anything rather than cause them more pain.
But fit healthy friends.. Let's be real! That's my philosophy, but will say it's not always easy with some friends :-)
@alpine_007 (1469)
• Pakistan
11 Jun 07
no, it is not wrong being straight forward, i am also a straight forward person. people think that you are rude or mean ecause they think that you are not polite with them. i think that being straight forward is very good but you should try to make the person understand while talking to the person politely.
@san_here (207)
• India
11 Jun 07
Being straight forward is never wrong, and you are in the right way.Some people may feel it's rude at the moment but in most cases they will realise at a later time,and then they will agree with you if you are true to it.Only thing is that you are to sure about yourself about our side.
Straight-forwardness will help us many places, because we don't have to bother about what we told ,at a later stage.
But it may create some problems in some places, like even in some friendship circles, if there are people who don't know you much, they may misunderstood you.That is the reason some people always try to focus on the fairer side in such occasions. Also if you are in a proffession with direct client interaction , you cannot be straight forward always, because you may have to project the attractive side of subject.So i don't try for it in proffessional discussons.
But i will always try to be straight in a circle of friends and relatives, and there is less chance of misunderstanding.There were such misunderstandings in the past, but from my experience i tell you they will understand you at a later stage, and will like you more.
