what should I do when my girlfriend want to marry me ,but now I can not!~
By kevinxue
@kevinxue (6)
China
June 12, 2007 4:10am CST
several days ago ,I went my girlfriend's home with her to accept their parents and relatives' testing.first I love my girlfriens very much,however her parents want her marry one who is so rich that he can give her good life,but I ,a poor guy.second my girlfriend also love me deeply.so now I am so helpness that what should I do.now I just have graduated for only one year from an university,so I don't have enough earning to marry her ,to promise to give her happiness. Maybe there are not answer to my question essentialy,maybe the answer lie in my body.I should confindent that I can be getting better gradually on the basis of my hard work.
2 responses
@stribijev (229)
• Poland
13 Jun 07
At first I understood your words as "I don't want to marry", but after reading the post I believe you do. You may be making a mistake thinking that her parents don't like you because you are "poor" at the moment. That may be just an excuse in order for them to say "no" to a guy they don't know/they have seen for the first time/ the "guy that wants to steal our own daughter from us". I hope it is not the case like the one in Britain, by the way. If it is like what I think you and your girlfriend should be consistent in your relationship - as I have been - never lose contact, meet as often as possible, phone, sms each other - show the parents you deserve the feeling and their daughter. The whole thing that makes wonders here is TIME. In some months - or it may take years as it was with me - of CONSISTENT showing your feelings AND RECEIVING THE SAME from your girlfriend her parents would be glad they have such a wonderful son-in-law! But is it so necessary for you to marry? I understand you live in China? I don't know anything about Chinese culture, so my post might sound a bit out of place...
@kevinxue (6)
• China
13 Jun 07
HI STRIBIJEV
Thanks for your comment.can I know if you have gotten married. all lives on the basis of the economy in my opinion.what can we do if we can't feed ourselves.I agree that as you said maybe her parents need time or my empressement to accept me.of course I love my girlfriend ,but I don't konw how to do in case that her parents oppose utmostly.what I am afraid is that I can't take something out to promise to her parents that I can give their girl blessedness.when their parents assail me on the issue.I don't have any word to say.
Now I konw that I dont have right and the ability to bring forward the topic of marry.I also need time to struggle for improving of myself.and the other thing important is I should have confidence to struggle for our love.
@stribijev (229)
• Poland
13 Jun 07
I did get married after 5 years of wait. It wasn't a passive waiting, I wrote SMSs, phoned her, we met once or twice a year (we lived in different countries and needed a visa to see each other, but she was busy in her country and couldn't visit me often, and there was almost no one who could get a visa for me to go to her country)... My problem was quite different, but I think you are on the right way, just don't overdo with self-improvement :) I don't think we really KNOW what to improve in us when we FEEL the need to, so if you KNOW you are a very strong personality.
But as for economic side of life I wouldn't agree, maybe just because I am always very confident about my getting a job anywhere I go, I may be too self-confident, which almost borders on impudence. My wife says if we have an apartment, enough food and drink every day and money to pay our bills no more money is required. Again, I don't know anything about life standards in your country, so all I can add is that all you need is to get the necessary qualifications - which you have if you graduated from a university - and find a good-paying job. If it is difficult to do in the place where you live, you might find the job somewhere else (the capital is the best place, by the way, or any bigger city). Good luck in searching for a job!
The only thing is sure: don't give up if your girl doesn't. Only if she starts to behave like her parents, you won't stand a chance.
Good luck in all you do to make your dream come true!
