I dislike intensely my mother

Only one question.. have you ever tried to understand her? No one is perfect, and I'm sure there are things you don't like about yourself either. I'm also a mother and there are things I don't like about myself but I can't change, and I'm afraid that my kids will not forgive me later.. and sometimes I also don't like my mother.. but I know that she tried to be a good mother and she loves me, the problem is that her life, her experiences, her past didn't let her be different. If you think that she had to understand you, what about trying to understand her?

This is very sad. Your Mother must have responded very negatively to whatever you told her when your were 15 years. Has your Mother ever tried to make it up to you? Has she tried to reconciliate? Wou;d you like your relationship with your Mother to improve eventually? My husband is in a similar situation. He has not talked to his older sister for many years. He will even attend a family evnt, if she is there.

I had many big time disagreements with my mother, we fought a lot but I do believe deep down you always love your mum, you can't help it she is a part of you and I think mothers have a hard time sometimes cutting the cord from their children and like everyone they make mistakes, BELMCstar I am not making light of your problem or preaching to you but please don't let anything come between you and your mother...My Mum is gone now and even though she gave me a very hard time in a different way at the end as she had Alzheimers I would just about do anything to have her back....it is too late once they go Bel, and you will miss your mum...you are a part of her, just remember everyone makes mistakes....hugs to you....

I lost my Mother many years ago and I miss her terribly.However,I despise my father intensely.I won't go into what he has done but several people on Mylot are aware of it.Your Mother should stand by you no matter what!.I can understand your disappointment in her.She should be your protector and fiercest supporter!

There are many times i "dislike my mother", but since i am a mom of 3, and mostly grown.. i hope in my heart they will not be typing about me someday! I can't speak for every mom, but giving birth and rasing children comes with no instruction booklet, and to be honest i know i made a couple of mistakes here and there. But the bottom line is that they are a part of me, and no one in the world or no action from them could make me love them anyless. Parenting is not easy, you are stuck with the kids from the moment they come out of you-you don't get paid, you work lousy hours, and you spend all your money on them, and your time. But, i can honestly say, even tho my mom drives me nuts sometimes, i could not imagine hating her, or not being in her life. Someday you will not have a mom. just remember that.

Not all of us are fortunate to have good and caring mothers. Unfortunately that is the cards we as humans are dealt. My mom was pretty cruel, but she has changed over the years and has made some changes and we are now very close. So, I do know how you feel about disliking your mother very much so. I am not sayng that will happen for you, I am just saying it is not easy to live that way. It is hard, but if she is that much of a negative impact on your life, it might be better that she not be in your life. I do want to say one thing, parents make big mistakes, we aren't perfect. What if you were in her position and you made the wrong decision with one of your children? I just want you to think about that. I had to take a long good look at why I was so mad at my mom for so long. Most of the way she treated me was because that was how she was treated. I was raped w hen I was 15 by my boyfriend and she refused to believe me. She called me every name in the book and then I became pregnant which brought further shame on the family. She further persecuted me for it. I ended up miscarrying, but the scars still remain. I no longer hate her for that, for me to move on with my life I had to forgive her. I don't know the severity of your issue with your mother, but think about it. Take care and listen to your heart.

well i know i can't get to change your mind about your mother but then i would just want you to realize that she is human and also have her excesses just like we all have ours. "To err is human but to forgive is divine" say a saying which i am sure you are popular with. Why not like call her to talk about it, "a problem talked about is half-solved". I know how deep your dislike for her is cause i have also been a victim of mothers neglect and fathers abuse but then i still see them as people that i can't do without. Now that you are a mother and you have kids, i would think you wouldn't want your children to have that kinda intense dislike for you. One thing you can do to free your heart is to talk to her about it. I am not saying you should go against your wish if you don't want to do it don't but then you wouldn't want to go to heaven with a mind full of dislike towards anyone. Forgive and forget, lives too sweet to build it on one person except yourself

I dont believe ether is right i mean i know that your mom should believe everything i mean no matter what if your child tells you something you should check inon it and all but yall also have to grow up and remember you are family and should still love each other if something bad was to happen i know you would have rather talk then to send a message i learned from experience so you should forget it i know it hurt you and all especially when it is something that affect your life and all. but you should learn to love again it is yopur mom and i odnt know how much you have gos in your life but i promise mens it up let god show you dont hold grudges and if you ever have hard times they wont be so hard because little things like that afect your future i promise.

That sounds so sad, but I totally understand where you are coming from. I would have the same feelings as to what you have, if its something major then I would never forgive, unfortuntely I keep grudges.

I am so sorry to hear about this but as parent we realize that love has no bounds and it is hard to picture a parent not being there for her child . There is nothing that I can think of that my child would ever say to me that I would turn my back on them for . It is the loss of your mother if she was not willing to take the time to listen to you and help you get through whatever tough time you were going though in life . Our children are never going to be carbon copies of this and we all need to know this . They are going to be their own individuals with their own thoughts that are going to differ from ours but they are still our children , our babies that we raised and if we did a good job then we need to realize and allow them the choices they make in life . If your mother really truely cares then she should be there for you no matter what , the fact that she isn't doesn't look good on her part for a mother loves her child through anything and everything .

Hi, BELMCstar, Kindly do not dislike intensely your mother. You see, people were brought up in different situation and events. Your mother would have faced some problems in her early life which would have made her to act like that. Therefore please forgive and forget. She is afterall your mother. In our cuture, we consider our mother and father is more than God. Further we never start anything without their blessings. Whether we believe in God or not but we respect and look for parents blessings. We consider blessings of the mother or father is more important than anythingelse. Kindly forget the past and start a new relationship with your mother.

I don't exactly know what the reason is why you dislike your mother so much. You must be feeling so hurt to feel that way. Is there no possibility that you two could talk about it once and for all? Its hard when you hold a grudge against another person. If you harbor hate in your heart, you will miss out the good things that may come your way. She is still your mother, if there was one person that you owe your life to, its her. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive.

My mother and I don't have a close relationship too. But I don't know if I can already call it a 'dislike' or something. Being the eldest and being a girl, she made me feel that I'm sort of a competition for my father's attention. That's why I grew up feeling closer to my father than to her. It's a pity because I envy daughters who are really close to their mothers. This changed a bit when I had my baby because I needed her to teach me a lot of things on how to care for my baby. But then now that my son is already 2 years old and I can already handle him, my mother and I are slowly drifting away from each other again.

there are instances when we do not understand the actions of our parents. and at times, it's normal for us to have grudges against them. but my friend, no matter what happens, they are still our parents and nothing can change that. how old are you now? how many years has it been since you last talked to your mom? maybe alot has changed since then so maybe it's about time that you consider talking to your mom in person (not through phone calls nor SMS). maybe you could ask her to listen to what you've got to say...talk about what really happened when you were still 15. talk about the present and your plans for the future as well. listen to what she has to say and maybe you could still patch things up... hugs