My hubby is sad :(

The first months and the last month are the hardest. Feeling "blah" at this point is pretty normal. That's the point where all the excitement and emotion from the preparation for the deployment and the deployment wears off. War is basically a waiting game, but your senses are picqued so the waiting becomes unbearable... almost as unbearable as when the waiting stops.

Hello,4cuteboys,sorry to hear that,i can understand how boring and lonely your husband is. Honestly i do have any ways to help him out,what i suggest is you can keep in touch with him by calling,emailinh him more often so that he will not feel alone. Hope six months will be passed quickly. Good luck to him and you. Take care.

Would it help him to get cards from us MyLotters? Maybe with little prayer cards or a small whimsical insert? If we can't help, have you used some of those free e-cards? They have some funny ones and some serious ones, that might cheer him up. Whatever I can do to help, PM me or reply, I'd love to help. : )

If it is medical concerns maybe you can ask the name of his medicine and if you know his doctor better consult him too. Try in soft voice and tender concern ask him how he feels so that you can relay the message to his doctor and maybe the doctor can prescribe a better anti depressant medicine for him. I too am not happy when my honey is sad or stressed. I would try to always help him relax or unwind or even to make him laugh bringing out a smile from him. :)

I am so sorry to hear that. It must be terribly hard on you feeling like there is nothing you can do. But I bet all that you do is having more of an affect than you realize. Can you do anything from this end to have his meds. adjusted? Be strong, hon, for your kids and for yourself.

I'm sorry to hear this hun. Does he have internet access yet? I wish there was something I could suggest you do, but I don't know what to tell you.

Remember that antidepressants are not magic pills that fix everything. It would not be normal for him to not be sad and or disturbed at this separation. If he has too much free time, things will prey on him, and make his heart heavy. My first husband was on a variety of anti depressants in his lifetime. As far as Hippa laws go, he can write and sign a release, having it notarised for you to discuss his medical information with the Doctor. As far as the power of attorney goes, it depends on if it is DPOA for health or financial, and generally they can only be called into effect if he is proven or shown to be incompetent. At least, that is how that situation works where I live, I know because of a position I held in a long term care facility. I had to deal with those issues. Nutritionally, if he can get some B12, that will help to alleviate the depression, and will not interact with his meds. Sublingual is the best as it is quickly absorbed by the skin under the tongue. He needs to keep well hydrated, and he needs to go to bed and get some sleep at the right times and not screw up his body clock as that will affect how his antidepressants work. Hugs to all of you, bless your hearts.

I do haev to agree with the first speaker. The first and the last weeks are the hardest. U will adjust with time. I know that it is hard to be apart - but if your love is strong then u will manage =)

Wow. That's rough for both of you. Encourage him to get at least 20 minutes a day of aerobic activity and to be in the daylight as much as possible. [I don't know what his assignment on base is, obviously.] Encourage him to do pleasurable activities - play cards, chess, write letters, etc. Does he have access to email? I found that what helps me when I'm depressed is to focus on doing something for someone else. I'm sure there are more than enough needs there for him to find a helping activity that is meaningful for him. Perhaps he can collect items the civilian hospitals need from folks back home. There was a Marine in Afghanistan who had people in the States sending him empty medicine bottles for the civilian hospitals there. Connect with a church or civic organization that would be willing to send "care packages" to him and his buddies there. Our church has "operation chocolate chip" where we each bring in cookies, as a group we pack them for shipping and send them to someone in Iraq. I've also helped collect small items for deployed military personnel at Christmas. No reason why that couldn't be done any time of year! Get your friends to send him cards and letters, too. A deluge of mail is bound to cheer a person up. And be sure to tell him that there are thousands of us here in the States who are praying for all those deployed in harms way.

Awwww man I know the feeling 4cuteboys and sorry to hear what your husband is going through. My husband was the same when he went for ONLY five weeks and was homesick the first day he arrived in Africa. Only because we communicated online via chat everyday, kept him sane as well as the occasional call. He wasn't on meds but he was at one stage telling me if anything happens to him and so forth, I know what to do, which scared the hell out of me because its not what I wanted to hear at that time. I was constantly texting him pictures of my son from my mobile to his email account, because he was missing him a lot as well. I was sending 3-4 pictures a day just so it felt like he was still home. I don't know what else you can do, maybe if he was able to get a webcam and yourself too, maybe that might help, just to see you and the kids through that?!? We did that when my husband came to USA first, before my son and I joined him four months later, that helped sooooo much! I hope it gets better for you both, i'll be thinking of you :)

I am so sorry that he has been having problems with his anti-depressants and being sad and missing his family while he is over there. I think all you can do is what you are doing now, just remain supportive and keep up with the care packages and emails. I write poems, song lyrics and silly stuff that will put a smile on my guys face or at least let him know I am thinking about him across the miles. Your right material stuff can only do so much. Well, if I think of something else or get any ideas from other wives I will pm you. Talk to you soon!

I am so sorry, my friend....It must be so difficult for both for both of you.... Have you thought about writing him a long letter telling him about all of the things that you are looking forward to when he returns?? Just a thought... Have the boys make him some little personal notes, drawings, paintings...things that will show their feelings about their Dad.... I do not understand an inability to have his medications adjusted while at this base though...wonder why? are all of the base set up without medical provisions like this? You have so much on top of you right now...hubby gone, you at home with 4 boys and another on the way...I am worried about you....please take care, my friend....I know that I probably was not much help...but I do care...you and your family will be in my prayers....

Chat can help, or maybe call him and try to comfort him. Always sent sweet messages maybe it can help.

Never give him depressing news from home when you write or phone. If you have bad news? Wait until he's home, unless of course it is something he must come home for! Encourage him to seek out friends to hang out with.

I don't know what advice I can say, but seems like everyone else older than me lay it down to you and suggest things for you to do. I just want to tell you that I feel for you. I've been in that situation when I had to go somewhere else abroad to do some personal affairs. Only, it was me who suffered it, just like your husband. Being away home and the life that you have been accustomed with is hard. I know, I need to sacrifice and at the end it pays off.