Would you ever breakup via E-MAIL??
By mean_queen
@mean_queen (1713)
Malaysia
June 14, 2007 9:46am CST
I just read in a magazine that this girl was dumped via E-MAIL? How low can you go? It just shows how cowardly that guy could be. Only if he was halfway across the world and they happened to be in a cyber relationship to begin with, then I might understand.
Having said that, would you ever consider breaking up via e-mail? And why would you ever choose that method?? LOL~!
And to those who have been dumped via e-mail, share your stories.. Pleaseee..:P
Thanks a bunch guys~!:)
7 people like this
41 responses
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jun 07
I HAD to break up via email once! I was in an entirely different country. I was in Egypt for 5 weeks and phone calls aren't exactly easily accesible and neither is a visit to or from America. I had met a guy in Seattle that I regularly keeping in touch with (and falling for) and I didn't think it was right that I was talking to this guy via email more than my boyfriend. I had to let him know that it wasn't going to work out. Good thing I did...I married that guy from Seattle! I wasn't going to be back in America for a year so I had no choice but to do it by email (otherwise I wouldn't have!)
2 people like this
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
14 Jun 07
Haha.. Like I said, it's kinda understandable if your halfway across the world. It would have been hard to keep that kinda relationship going on anyway. Glad to know you did marry that guy in the end~! It shows how sure you were when you dumped your ex boyfriend and it wasn't just infatuation from your part.. All the best Amstardam~! ;)
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2671)
• United States
14 Jun 07
The only thing I can see email being a positive thing is that it provides a way to calmly collect thoughts. If there is a lot to say, you can take your time, really think it out and let them know how you are feeling. With out emotional drama or interuption. That is if they did that. If it was just a 'I don't want to see you anymore' email then it was cowardice. But unfortunatly those are the times.
1 person likes this
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
14 Jun 07
That's a really good point there nicolec~! I guess you're right in that sense. Words are laid out and there aren't any interruptions. Sometimes when we wanna talk to a person, we're already interrupted even before we get to explain anything, which then is followed by a really big argument. I agree with you that it would benefit in that way~! I think this way should then be followed up by meeting that person again face to face. Don't you think so?
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
15 Jun 07
Definitely not the easiest.. Life is never that easy to begin with anyway..
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
14 Jun 07
if someone dumped me through an email I would definately go and look for him. That is SO disrespectful. I mean if u are having a relationship, atleast u can do it face to face.
I would be glad to have gotten rid of him though, coz that would prove that he is not a real man =)
1 person likes this
@inallduetime (741)
• United States
14 Jun 07
I have never been dumped over email but I have done it. Sometimes it is needed. In my case, I was here and he was in another state doing his internship. He later got the job, the relationship continued just fine. He would come home, I would go visit home....long story short after a while the relationship did become strained....talking on the phone only resulted in argument after argument, same as in person.....soon phone calls became few in between...thus I decided enough was enough and broke up with him via email. It was needed and the only really good option at that time - so that we could both go forward with life...
We still talk now though so it wasn't as bad as it might appear. You do what you need to do, given what you have to work with.
1 person likes this
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
14 Jun 07
I think I can understand your reasons since you guys did stay in different states. I would just like to know why you didn't do it over the phone? I think that during that time when everything was going downhill for the both of you, it didn't really matter how you broke up. I think your ex-bf would have expected it. Some poor ones got dumped without any clue as to what hit them!
@jolenegreen (1209)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Sounds cheesy to me, LOL. I would smack him right on the face. LOL. Not manly at all...LOL. Too funny.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
14 Jun 07
i hate cowards. and breaking up through emails or text messages is the most coward way of doing it. i even had some exes who they just went away. i did not even know where they were or what's our stand on the relationship. they just escaped. ouch. but that's true. there are lots of people who are coward to say things face to face. ... anne
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
15 Jun 07
I really can't understand why they just choose to disappear from the face of the earth~! That's just weird~! My friend got dumped that way too..He never gave an explanation whatsoever.. It was months until she finally gave up on him. It's just unfair to treat another person like that~! Beats me...
@dopey22girl (3319)
• United States
22 Jun 07
No I would never do that, because that is low. I would tell the guy to his face, but be very gentle about it so as not to hurt his feelings. I have never been broken up with through email, but I have been through msn (the chat service) which was really low!
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
•
14 Jun 07
i have never broken up with someone by e-mail, but my last boyfriend did dump me via msn...
it wasn't pleasant, but that's the way it goes i guess, we were far apart from each other at the time, and we were having problems, so he ditched me during an msn conversation... that's life.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
14 Jun 07
even if just through msn, that's still sad. atleast, he should have found ways to see you and tell it to you face to face. it's the only proper way to do it. not in any means using technology... anne
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
15 Jun 07
yeah, I guess people have depended on technology so much that they even breakup using this method.. sometimes it would be better if there were no such convenience at all so these guys won't be able to get away with it that easily~! lol.. :P
@Abbyey (760)
• Philippines
14 Jun 07
If the relationship is an online relationship i think its just normal too.
If the relationship is physically you are both in the same place then thats is LOW and COWARD way to break up.
However i do give the benefit of the doubt why he did it that way and not call or meet up with her to tell that he wanted to break up.
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
15 Jun 07
Well, if it happened to me, i would definitely not give him benefit of the doubt. Maybe a week after it happened and I can think rationally, then may I'll give it to him.. LOL.. thanks abbyey~! ;)
@seinfeld (184)
• India
14 Jun 07
hi mean_queen....lol...nice discussion there...i being a guy think it is really coward and insane to do such a think...i think it happens when either people are not in a serious relationship or the person doing this is void of feelings...no matter how sour the relationship has got i would never do such a thing...infact breaking up is such a hard thing cause you were in love with the girl/guy at some time and you still care for that person deep inside...i think in such a situation one must talk it out and explain the partner what went wrong and why we need to part our ways....doing that over e-mail,sms just shows the callous nature of todays youth....neways getting a bit heavy.. hope it never happens to u...lol...take care...bye
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
15 Jun 07
hey there seinfeld~! :) it's great to have this kinda insight from the male species. even though trying to talk would most probably lead to a huge fight, it's better than just e-mailing. I hope it never happens to me too~!! Or else I'll hunt him down! LOL~! thanks for replying.. ;D
@masterviajero (697)
• Philippines
14 Jun 07
to be honest, id been dumped via email too! hahaha.. its a long distance relationship, shes from the US. we're together (is it the right word? haha) for over a year.. she first emailed me and then i called her.. i wasnt doing fine at first coz i loved her, but i was able to cope..
so if its not a long distance relationship, i think its a coward act to break up via email.. maybe the person is guilty of something or afraid of how the partner would react!
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
15 Jun 07
owh really?? well, in your case i guess there was no other way for her to breakup with you. a phone call would've cost so much especially knowing that the call would last for hours.. :P
@fleur_petal (883)
• India
14 Jun 07
no way. i thnk personally feel its the most cheesy way to break up. it clearly shows tht u r not a brave personn tht u r not evn matured enough to take the responsibilty of a relationship. i hv nvr been broken up via e-mail n i hope i dn evr!!!
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
14 Jun 07
I feel the same way too~!! That would be really scary.. thanks for responding fleur_petal~! ;)
@loverenth (136)
• Philippines
14 Jun 07
We have a saying "don't do unto others.. blah blah blah," .. I guess you understand my point.. :-)
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
15 Jun 07
LOL OMG NO!! that is SO cheesie to me and such a whimpy way to go about it too ya know...Step up and be an adult about it rather than a coward as far as I'm concerned
@lisado (1227)
• United States
15 Jun 07
I can't imagine being that big of a wimp. Even if they were across cyber space, and across the world, this should rate at the very least a phone call. Breaking up with someone isn't usually pleasant but the least a person can do is to tell them in person. My husband is in the Navy and when they go out on cruise (6 month or more deployment) quite a few of the guys end up getting "Dear John" emails. Their girlfriends (or boyfriends since women can do this, as well) can't handle being alone for so long and they break up and find someone else closer to home. Breaking up via email, though, is just tacky.
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
15 Jun 07
No, I wouldn't do something like that, although I did have to send a dear john letter to a guy who wouldn't take a graceful hint.
I heard that Britney Spears sent her husnabd a text saying they were going to divorce. I wonder if that was true? At the time I thought it was media exageration, but as events unfolded it seems plausible enough.
@nielcdg (709)
• Philippines
15 Jun 07
I would think that love via internet is hard, let alone breaking up through email unless your relationship was in the real world in the first place. I would think that an internet break up through email of IM is cruel, insesitive and disrepectful of the other person's feelings towards you. Its cowardly and most especially unworthy. If you were emailed saying Im dumping you...just reply "You dont have to because I already left you!" lets see how they feel about that!
@joeyboyjay (36)
• Philippines
15 Jun 07
For me, a break up must be made face to face even if things will turn out violent LOL. What I experienced was worst - she broke up with me through SMS or text messaging. I can accept being dumped but not that way. It's too dehumanizing. Anyway, I have to move on and just laugh off this pathetic incident in my life.
@xenpen (90)
• United States
15 Jun 07
I've broken up with someone over IM before, and I've been dumped over IM by someone.
Now I didn't mean to break up with my previous boyfriend over AIM, but he refused to come see me (he was living in Columbia while I'm in St. Louis). I didn't have a car so I couldn't go to him to do it face-to-face, which is how I'd rather have done it. I didn't say "Come here, we need to talk." He was planning to come see me, but when I said that we need to talk, he called off the trip. Breaking up that way made me sick to my stomach. I tried to soften the blow while still remaining honest about my feelings, but it made me feel so bad. We're still friends though; he came here not too long ago and we hung out for a bit.
Now my current boyfriend, he broke up with me over AIM. He said he'd rather not waste the gas to come see me. He broke up with me over AIM while he was surfing the net at work. And he said some pretty harsh things while hidden behind that screen, let me tell ya. Even afterward we still managed to be friends. A year later, we got back together and have going good for 2 years coming this july.
Heck yes, breaking up with someone online can be horrible for both the giver and receiver. I've had it happen both ways, but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.