My son was broken hearted
By raydene
@raydene (9871)
United States
June 14, 2007 1:39pm CST
My son started going out with a great girl in high school.They were stead through his last 2 years of hs and he went off to college when she was a senior in HS. They got on fine and were still together the next year. She was going to the same college so they would be seeing alot of each other.
This would be their 4th year together.When the came back at Christmas they didn't seem to mish to well but I thought they were just tired from finals for the sesmester.They went back for their spring session. I received a call from my son about half through the session .He seems very down.He said he would be home that weekend and that his girl was staying at college.
He arrived home a broken hearted boy.He told me that she had found someone she cared about and that he had met the other person and liked her.He said that they would always be friends but that she had discovered she was gay and he said that they had discussed it alot through the years that they were together and she didn't want to be but was tired of pretending to be something she was not.
It broke our hearts because we think the world of this girl and had hoped she would be part of our family one day.
My son has since married and has a couple of children but this gal is still a big part of his life.I'm am so glad that he was able to accept this and save the friendship because she is a wonderful loyal friend and that you do not find every day.
What are your thoughts?
Would you have been angry?
5 people like this
11 responses
@mummymo (23706)
•
14 Jun 07
That is such a touching story Mom! I can understand him being broken hearted but that would probably have been the case no matter what! I think this is one of the problems that occur when people are judgemental and bigoted towards those who are gay - they do not want to live life being ridiculed, harrassed and told that they are bad and sinners! It is sad that anyone has to pretend to be something they are not just to feel accepted by the wider society and I hope someday we will all learn to accept people for who they are not for who they love! In the end I think your son won - he married a lovely girl , beautiful children and he still has this girl as a close and loyal friend - what more could you want? The best mother in the world maybe - well he is extra specially lucky cos he has you! xxxx
3 people like this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Daughter you are too kind to me sometime ..well all the time..
If you start throwing away people for different thing you will find you don't have any left.That leads me to another discussion..I'll go start it and see ya there.
Love ya Doll
3 people like this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
14 Jun 07
I think at first I would be angry because it would be a shock and they had been going together for the length of time they had. But after the shock wore off I would be glad that she came forward before your son and her got married. It seemed like that was the road they were traveling. If your son can accept it I would be willing to accept it also. I am glad that he has stayed friends with her. It would be a shame to let a friendship go away because of this. It sounds like you are a person who accepts people for who they are and love them.
2 people like this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Well Sunshinelady had I been born perfect I might be able to only accept perfection in outher..hehe..
Yes I still love her to peices.She is a good girl and her whole family are our friend.We've eaten many meals together and spent holidays together.Too much to throw away.Besides you can't help who you are!
1 person likes this
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
15 Jun 07
That is too bad. However...it is better that she came clean and told your son...rather than it escalating. I do think I would be a little angry...especially your son. If she knew or even thought she was gay then why did she continue the relationship with him? It is very mature and big of him to want to remain friends with his girl...
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
15 Jun 07
No Ray I would not have been angry at all
Your Son did the right thing by staying Friends with her and supporting her all the way through
It is one of them things that happens and she was honest about it and not pretended to be what she wasn't and it would have been worse if they got married and she tried to make it work and then couldn't
He was broken Hearted but he also accepted it and supported her and I respect him for that
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
16 Jun 07
That is how look at it and that is how I would have handled it I am glad they are still good Friends it proves that the Friendship strong
I love you to Ray, you are one of my Friends I never want to be without
Hugs to you xxxxxx and from little Monkey xxxx
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
15 Jun 07
I think I would be very dissapointed at first, especially if I had no clue, but at the end I would have done like your son - tried and save the friendship.
I do not have a problem with people being gay and I would also have tried to understand her, and the feelings she have been fighting for so long. I would also know that she did love me - if not in that special way.
I am glad to hear that they are still friends =)
1 person likes this
@seinfeld (184)
• India
15 Jun 07
hi there...really sorry to hear about wat your son has to go through some years ago...but i think that as he has moved on with his life and married and has a couple of children..moreover she is still his friend and i think all's well that end...although i would have certainly been angry if wud have been in his place...but i guess life is all about learning frm your past and moving on...and since u said she is a very loyal friedn that u wont find everyday so i think its great on his part to accept her friendship...i think your son made a wise decision...good luck for your son and his friend...take care...bye
1 person likes this
@fellowlife (988)
• Nigeria
15 Jun 07
i would not have been angry cause i believe a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage and also i am not an advocate of been in a relationship out of pity because sooner or later something would snap.
I think they both acted out in goos faith and its cool like that.
1 person likes this
@stella1989 (2274)
• India
15 Jun 07
Well to some extent one can get frustrated after such long relationship...she comes up and says that she is gay ..and its not she discovered about it now she was knowing about it from the very beginging..!!
But afetr all this you still love her so I can nver get angry onnher ...but there can be little frustration.
But I have to accept it.
1 person likes this
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
18 Jun 07
That would be a hard thing for me to accept if it happened to me. Your son is very considerate to accept this about his ex girlfriend. I am glad that he has since married and has children of his own. That probably would of never of happened if his ex was not so honest about her preference.
@liana_pescarus (1168)
•
14 Jun 07
highschool relationship usually don't last through college, even if in highschool the 2 get along great.
in college, teenagers tend to have different disairs and expectations or maybe just to experience something else.
i'm sorry for your son, i've been through what he is going through, but i'm sure that he'll be fine and really meet the girl of his dreams.
all the best!
1 person likes this
