I am so hurt

i hv read urs msg its really bad to know but its long relationship of 12 yrs -----may b u r not able 2 give her enough time as much she needs --may b she feels alone --what i feel she wont b physically attracted though its high time (12 yrs) --she might b suffering from depression ---according to me u should give her a chance becoz child alwaz suffer parents separation-----plz think y she took this step------whats a reason behind it----y she did after a long period ----not in her early years of marriage i think if she was a characterless lady then she would hv done this in her early years of her marriage

First let me say I am so sorry for your loss I understand your feelings as I just recently lost my mother. It takes a lot to forgive something as you are dealing with, and only you can decide if you want to do so, first I would try to find the reason as to why it happend.If she was doing this for 8 months I dont believe she dose love you and I would ask her to leave.Maby some time apart would be good Although Im not sure I would NOT allow her to take my child when she leaves but that is up to you.And I certenly would not give her my home for another man to live in. I would not make it easy on her , she did wrong you and in a big way, I can also tell you that I know people whom have broken it off in front of there husbands and went right back a few weeks later.So how can you trust her? To forgive her or not is something you have to decide in your heart but I would find out the reasons as to why she was cheating on you, sometimes its something she is not receiving from you that she needs, although she went about getting it the wrong way. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and hope for the best for you, anytime you need to talk I am here.

What ever has happened has happened. There no point in brooding thing over. Take a wise decision and follow it. So ask for opinion of others. Think pros and cons and take decision by yourself.

I am so sorry , I know what a hard time this is for you , my daughter just lost her best friend today and we are all still reeling from the fact as he was only twenty one . I wish I had something to help take the pain away . As for your wife this is something you will never forget and the pain will probably always be there but things can get better . I say this because I went through this before and it still hurts to know that somehow I wasn't good enough or that I would never have done this myself . We have children as well and even though they would have been with me it didn't change the fact that I felt that I was a failure if I took their dad away from them because I know how much he loves them and them growing up without him there every morning and every night broke my heart . In the end your heart will tell you what to do . You have to decide what you want to do and just remember not to let family and friends tell you what you should do . YOU have to do what it right for you . Right now you are in a lot of pain and your feelings are all over the place but it won't change the fact that you still love your wife and even though you are hurting more then you ever thought possible the feelings of love don't just disappear . I wish I could take away your pain because no one deserves this pain and no one deserves to feel they were not good enough but remember that it wasn't you . You did nothing wrong . Your wife chose this for whatever reason and now it means that you have a lot to decide about weather or not you can forgive her enough to move on . Don't force yourself to make this decision overnight and go with your heart . Do what you feel is best for you as this is your life and you are the one that has to live with the decision you make . Just remember it will get better and try to talk as much as you can to find out how you feel yourself . I really wish I had more to offer because I do understand how devestating this is and even now I find it hard to face the fact but even so I still love my husband despite what happened and even though friends and family don't agree with my decision , they are not the one's who have to live with it . Best of luck in whatever you decide to do but do what you want and even though you don't know what you want right now , it will come to you .Life is short and we have to do what we can to be happy with the time we have here , so take what you can to be happy for you . Again I am so sorry to hear about your week and hope things will get better for you because you don't deserve this . Take Care !!

Oh, honey,i am so sorry to hear about all of this. To not only find out of your wife;s infidelity, but to lose your father so tragically at the same time. i really feel for you. Honey,i know it is hard, but i don't see how you can forgive her. i never could. Cheating is something that i just don't have any sympathy for at all. It won't besomeone else sitting in your chair in your house rocking your daughter to sleep. You paid for that house and that chair and you have every right to stay there. Have your wife leave instead. She caused this mess.

hmmmmm this's interesting.. luk up u're a man u can't b so down abt this... b brave face it.. it might be destined for you so its happening.. take life as it comes... let him come & go you don't bother if you trust your wife.. Trust's the most improtant thing in any relationship may it be affair or married life... if you trust her then you can very well get back to her at least for your daughter's sake see to it that in this commotion your daughter's growth isn't affected.. don't let this affect you too much!! maybe if you can bring up your daughter alone by yourself then you can go in for a divorce think a lot & take a decision!! forget everything all'll b fine!!

I agree with RainShine. This is not something that you should try and come through alone. Both of these experiences are deep and tragic for you. It's too much. Stop driving pass this person's house. It solves nothing and it is just immature. It's not hurting him, it's causing you pain. Why would you do something that will cause you additional pain? Do you need some more pain? Get with someone who has a calm head and a peaceful heart and talk this through with them.

Hello Dan i am really sorry for all the trauma you are going through right now and i read some of the posts here and all of them have given you good advice so i hope you are a little better now...i know its terrible loosing your dad i lost mine 3 years back and i miss him terribly everyday and on top that the infedilty i am sure it shattered you but iam sure you are strong look for strength within and remember 'when the going get tough the tough get going' take care and i will keep you in my prayers and your sweet little daughter as well i ope you find the strength to move and the best thing to do even if you dont stay with your wife is to forgive her and let go of the pain maybe after a year or so if you really want then you guys can get back togther otherwise make a clean break and both of you move on. it may sound cold but thats better than living with pain and guilt....