Never just plain sailing... (kinda advice wanted)

You should not interfere in husband and wife relationships. Once you had an experience with your friend for interfering in her life. She is old enough to take of herself. What is going to happen will happen.

He needs his A$$ whipped. She is going to have to be brave and press charges on him. She needs to stand up for herself and put his sorry A$$, coward A$$ in jail. Does she have a safe place to go, does she have a dad or brothers. I hope things get better for her.

that's crazy, here in canada, the police do not need her to file a complaint they will automatically arrest after the assault, that came about after a woman was killed in Quebec and she never wanted to lay charges. I would suggest that the mother get a social worker or contact a woman's abuse center to see if she can get some advise as what to do, this girl is heading for the morgue sooner than expected.

Why can't she leave him and temporarily move back in with her mom? She needs to have a plan of escape and then follow through. Her life may be in danger if she stays with this creep. Why would she want to? Especially if she ends up in the hospital. I cannot understand how a woman can go back to this kind of treatment. Of course, I don't know the whole story. The police will probably be useless. Maybe there is a shelter she can go to. Do a search on the Internet and you might be able to find help for her.

I feel bad for your friend, Joey, as I've known someone who's gone through this, and maybe still is in this situation. We're fortunate over here, because we've had a new law passed within the last couple of years. If the police are called into something like this, THE POLICE NOW LAY THE CHARGES, so these 'jerks' don't have to be charged by the 'abused one' anymore. This is good news for those in our part of the world. The best advice you can give her (as I gave my friend), is to get professionals to help her get away from him. I hope this helps.

i think ur friend's boyfriend is despicable n she shouldn't put up with his nonsense. i know love is blind n all that, but this is too much. well, since she asked u not to interfere, the least u can do is be there for her. maybe one day she'll pour her heart out to you if she knows that she has someone to back her. in the meantime, just take care of her n stay in touch with her mom. :)

heya joey, is there shelters or counsellors for abused women in your area? can she sneak out to go to one of these places? that is what i would suggest, i know this is an old discussion, but thats my advice...

may be just wait a little bit and see if she gets better then wait for talking to her later. if condition goes bad then you have to go there to talk to and think about talking to police by yourself if you seriously want to get involve in it and think she is a real friend of yours, You have to take some serious steps then

Joey I feel bad for you because you obviously care a lot for your friend. As a person who was in an abusive situation for 4 1/2 years I know from experience maybe a little of what she is going through. A person's perception of what love is can be very distorted especially when that is how the relationship has always been and they know no different. I can tell you this that no matter how much you try to get her out until she admits that there is a problem she will not leave. Abuser's have a way of making the abused feel as though they are nothing and can do nothing without the abuser. On average an abused women will go back to the abuser 7 times. Good luck with your friend and I hope all goes well for her.

This is really sad, but hey, when time permits, sit her down and explain to her that her life is in danger, and she must do what's right for her first. I hope she ends up ok, because its the end result that dont seem to go so well.

That is a really sad story and I feel sorry for both you and your friend. It is always difficult when you see someone being hurt and they seem unwilling to let you help. Perhaps her reluctance to accept help from you is due to a lack of support from her family if they fell out over her dating this guy. Perhaps she feels that by admitting to how bad things are she would just get the 'I told you so' response. If she is quite young she may also feel that she has something to prove in forging her own destiny and making choices and does not wish to feel pressured intoleaving this guy. Without knowing the full dynamics of the relationship it is hard to understand why she stays with him. As her friend the only real thing you can do is be there for her but at the end of the day if she chooses to reject your support then you can only respect her wishes and take a step back rather than push things and risk losing contact altogether. As for what to do the only thing I can suggest is what others have said and do some research as to what support is out there for her as regards to refuges and support workers. Perhaps you could arrange a casual meeting somewhere and give her some leaflets or numbers to look at. Shock her with a few statistics about how many women are killed each week by abusive partners and encourage her to take action. Remind her that you are her friend and will support her through every step but that it is her decision and if she chooses to stay then all you can do is be a friendly shoulder to cry on. Sorry for the lengthy response but you know me ;)

What country do you live in, not the UK anyway. Here the police has a positive arrest policy where the decision is taken out of the hands of the victim and she is a victim. That way the partner who is arrested cannot blame the victim for the outcome. Most murders are carried out by someone we know and in alot of cases, love. It is true that not all victim welcome help of any sort and see it as unwelcome interference. You should report to the police and not act directly as this could inflame the situation and you put yourself at risk.