What's wrong with two men holding hands?
By argie713
@argie713 (1809)
Philippines
June 16, 2007 9:09am CST
I rarely see two guys holding each other's hand. Me and my friends always hold each other's hand while we walk.
Here in our country, when we see men holding hands, we immediately conclude that they are gay. Don't you think it's unfair? Or it's just the people not getting used to it?
21 people like this
52 responses
@rinaaus (1201)
• Australia
16 Jun 07
I don't see any wrong when i see two men hloding hands... and i don't care that they are gay or not. I think we all have a right to show our feelings/ our love/ our relationship...
I think some people just don't know how to present their feeling in many ways, so when they see something what is different from them, and they think it's wrong. Nothing to relate with "used to" or "not used to".
3 people like this
@hardworkingmom (1130)
• United States
17 Jun 07
I personally think its nasty. 2men walking the streets holding hands no I can't se that unless they are gay. It don't have anything to do with showing eachother affection. Men show their affect in others to each other, not by hand and hand contact especially walking in the street.
2 women are more likely to be accepted in that kind of affection do to our nature of showing love through touch. Not men.
This is my personal opinion I'm not trying to offend anyone.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
17 Jun 07
If two men seen holding hands walking are considered to be gay, it is unfair to them. This is also a way to express their friendship like two women holding hands walking. Only very good friends will probably walk this way, I guess. But of course, it is better not to in order not to make themselves misunderstood. But even if they are, so what? This is their way of life. There should be nothing wrong for them to choose their own way of life.
1 person likes this
@bluishrose (2289)
• Philippines
16 Jun 07
Its not unfair. Guys in nature don't really hold hands, its not in them. so if we see two guys holding hands we tend to think their gay because they are not like girls who holds hands while walking. A hamd on the shoulder is fine but holding hands is a no-no!
3 people like this
@pamthegypsy (136)
• United States
17 Jun 07
Straight women in the US don't hold hands even if they are a couple. Gay men might, but I think I would know they were gay even if they weren't holding hands. If I saw grown people holding hands I would suppose one of them was blind! Americans are just not that touchy feely, a hug is even an uncomfortable thing for most. And if I see one man kissing another and they're not gay I know the one that got kissed is in big trouble...
crazy world huh?
1 person likes this
@stella1989 (2274)
• India
16 Jun 07
No..!
I see many men holding hands together..!!
And I have no problem with that!!
But I must admit that sometims I just carelessly conclued that they are gay ...!! But not always and what if they ARE gay ..I don't have any problem with.
But Its true in my country I do see many men holding hands together!!
It kind of common.
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@Flight84 (3048)
• United States
16 Jun 07
It would be assumed here too that men were gay if they were holding hands. I don't understand why there is such a double standard in the world today. Women aren't always looked at as gay if they hold hands, so why should men. Granted, they usually are, but why is it automatically assumed so quickly? I don't personally care what preference someone has because it's none of my business and it's not my place to judge someone. It almost seems like you can't be close friends with someone because you will be labeled.
3 people like this
@rockingmom (885)
• Philippines
16 Jun 07
in this very unfair world..almost all is unfair..haha, maybe we or people don't get used to it why they are concluding them as gay or lesbians, and one reason i think is that it is rarely seen...maybe also the macho thing for guys in the philippines also adds up..and only girls can do that ... i just agree with you..thanks..
@desertdarlene (8910)
• United States
16 Jun 07
I've lived in a diverse society for a long time and I don't really think much about two guys holding hands, though it is unusual and amusing when I do see it. But, I think if they're not gay, then they're from a country or society where this is common. If I don't know them, then I just go on with my life and I don't judge them.
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@desertdarlene (8910)
• United States
17 Jun 07
If I know them, then I know if they are gay or not and don't have to guess. In fact, I accept it even more if I know the person, especially if they are my friends, because I love them.
1 person likes this
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@callarse1 (4783)
• United States
16 Jun 07
It depends where you are from, in one of my pen-pal's country holding hands is acceptable with anyone and it doesn't mean that the people are gay.
There isn't anything wrong with them holding hands. It is their choice to hold hands. It depends because if you are with your friends and you all decide to hold hands, is that gay? What if it is a child and an old man, is that gay? I think not, and I don't see anything wrong with it.
Tear a part hate! That's what I say we do.
Now, it may not be the norm, but it's a free world we live in so we should be able to do something like holding hands. There are far worst things that can happen.
Truly yours,
Pablo
1 person likes this
@jess_d_blue (385)
• United States
17 Jun 07
exactly!
Holding hands is simply that - holding hands. Where the problems begin is with the intolerance between groups. Sadly, this is usually taught by the elders of the family.
If we could only get one generation to stop the hate. The world would be a better place for it all.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
16 Jun 07
I would think it all depends on the culture of the country they are in. In Asia where the thinking is more conservative, it would be weird to see two men or two women holding hands walking down the streets. They are sure to be incur some snooping eyes. People just know how to distinguish and identify if they are behaving naturally. However, if it is at the pub or else where, people can just accept such habits. Nothing wrong, it's a matter of getting used to it, just my opinion.
1 person likes this
@321633wy (1795)
• United States
16 Jun 07
We can't deny most people will assume men holding each others hand is weird .They are more likely to be judged as gay me regardless they are gay or not.It seems to be unfair for them,but what can we do to avoid people from not judging them as gay when they are holding each other's hand.....:)
I do believe not all of them are gay just because they are holding hand.
2 people like this
@firumon (501)
• India
17 Jun 07
Hi friend,
Here in india, there is nothing wrong in holding hands between two guys or two girls or even a guy or a girl.
We want to do that when we meet anyone.
Did everywhere in philippines belive this?
Shame shame puppy shame.
Friends renew their friend ship by holding their hands.
The whole compromise is through holding their hands....
Here gays are identified by their way of talking and their style of walking...
Anyway thank you for sharing this with us....
Take care dear, don't misunderstand anyone with out knowing the truth.......
2 people like this
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
16 Jun 07
haha.. a slight double standard..
But then again, if men were more open and act less macho about something as trivial as holding hands, then the public won't think too much about it too. But don't you notice that even when they hug, they have this MACHO hug that won't let the other guy's body actually touch theirs. They prevent it with their arm. Get what i mean? You see it ALL the time with guys. They shake that persons hand, then hug and use that arm to be the barrier. Hilarious. :)
1 person likes this
@jess_d_blue (385)
• United States
16 Jun 07
Obviously society has a problem with homosexuality. It's a sad fact but it is too often that I hear of someone being hurt or shut out simply for their skin color or sexuality.
Seeing two men holding hands or showing affection automatically puts them into a box of being gay. A father sees his son playing with another boy - wrestling or something of the sorts and although proud if his son wins, still holds the fear in his head that his son could be gay.
Hobbies like cutting hair, doing arts and crafts or even simply planting flowers in a garden have all placed friends of mine in this category even when they were straight as a ruler!
Women may be able to show affection for one another more easily but when seen as a successful carpenter or excelling in sports - they are quickly questioned on their sexuality.
I hate the double standard that it is "ok" for a woman to be interested in other women - but not for a man to be interested in or even acknowledge a mans' attractiveness.
I think love and acceptance is quickly being snuffed out in today's societies and more discussions on these subjects just may be a step forward on stopping just that.
1 person likes this
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Here in the USA ..usually holding hands even with members of the opposite gender means there is a certain closeness..I don't think even me and my sibling held hands..it's just not done.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
16 Jun 07
I agree it's not fair. I have m.s. and there are a lot of times i have to have help to get up on a curb and i need help from a friend so i have to grab someones hand to have help i hope no one thinks I'm gay. Once i get one the curb I pull lose from their hand.
1 person likes this
@coffeeshot (3783)
• Australia
19 Dec 07
Well I think that men generally don't hold hands unless they're gay. It's just not what they do, I think they would see it as a threat to their masculinity. However I encourage all men gay or straight to hold hands if they wish because it just doesn't matter. Spread the love people.
1 person likes this
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
16 Jun 07
I think it depends on where you live. Holding hands here can really mean anything, especiall when you see two women holding hands, but there are parts of the city that are much more populated by gay people and if you see two people of the same gender holding hands you can safely conclude they are gay. I don't think it's unfair because it's only an assessment on someone else's part if they believe two people holding hands are gay or not, it's not a judgment of any kin.
1 person likes this
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