Darling Dad Comes Out of the Woodwork (vent)

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So after roughly 12 years or more of all contact stopping, my darling dad has decided to get a hold of me. Honestly, I barely know the man, minus the one year that I lived with him at 8 years old while my mother moved to California and got settled. Any time before that, I'd see him when he'd go to take my brother and I to our grandparents house once in a blue moon, and then leave until it was time to get us again (something that just dawned on me recently--him not even being there for that). As a teenager, I think I visited him once, and whatever phone calls there were up until the time I was 16, were few and far between and usually because I was the one who had to call. Same thing with my grandfather, whom I haven't spoken to in about 15 years. When the birthday cards stopped coming and I got sick of being the one responsible for trying to maintain a relationship that was barely there to begin with, I gave up. My attitude turned into, "let him call if he actually gives a rat's." He never called and I was out of the house by 16/17 and couldn't afford to. Eventually, however, he moved and I wouldn't have been able to get a hold of him if I'd wanted to, since no one had his address at that point--which I discovered years later, after trying to send him Xmas and Father's Day cards. In words or less, I have had no relationship with this man. None. This was something that I accepted and got over years ago, and just learned to live with. In all honesty, since I have never had a relationship with him as a person, it's not like I have anything to miss. And sure, maybe I got bitter now and then when thinking of how much I was gypped in the Dad Category, but like I said...I got over it. Now, he's been hounding my mother for contact information. First he left an email address that she didn't understand and tried to leave am message to have him repeat it again, several times when he never called back on until several months later. In that message I guess he was playing the victim and wondering if he 'did anything to her to make her angry' (makes no sense to me, but whatever) and then repeated his email (his msg made it clear he got her msg, so its not that)...again, she immediately responded to and got no response. Same thing happened later on...he'd call and leave a message, Mom would call as soon as she got it, and he wouldn't call. She finally got fed up and just gave him my information (not sure I'm happy with that). Three months later he sends me an email, which I couldn't respond to (not that I knew what to say) since I lost my internet connection. Recently, he's left a message on my answering machine that's now stressing me out. To top the cake off, both his email to me and the phone message ended up ticking me off more than I already am with this nonsense, with his defensive tone and, "okay, you and your brother win the award for no contact!" What the heck? What is this man on? Seriously. The man's always been too wrapped up in business/hobby to care up until now. But that's okay, blame on me lol. I don't know the deal between my brother and him, other than them getting in a physical fight a long time ago. My relationship with my brother is about as non-existent as it is with my father (I've tried to rememdy that, but nadda). Yet it's apparently my fault entirely that contact has stopped with Dear Old Dad. It is apparently my responsibility now, as usual, to call my grandfather who has never once called me, sent me a card, nothing... ever, just as it has always been my responsibility, even as a little kid, to maintain any relationship with either of them. Whatever. At 28 years old, I am now trying to be at least adult about it. I do not -want- to talk to him, don't see the point after so long and have a lot of crap going on enough as it is, but I'm going to at least make the polite gesture and to be civil. However, I am having a hell of a time thinking of what to say. What do you say to someone you haven't spoken to in 12+ years and had no relationships with previously? I don't think I'm ready to talk to him on the phone--I can just imagine the questions of my life that I don't feel like discussing with him. I also worry that the self-centered, I-can-do-no-wrong tone on his will just set me off, and the floodgates of all the pent-up frustration will come spewing forth...and then where will be, hmm? lol Still, I can't figure out what he really wants...why the sudden interest after all of this time, no one's dying. The only theory that I have is noticing that his name is no longer in lights as it was last year, with the webstie that I found him on out of curiosity. I know that project (music director for a performing group) has always been his "baby" and is the main reason why, since before I was born, he'd never been around. So what? Mid-life crisis and now I get to pick up the pieces? Fun! Sorry for such long-windedness lol, I just find the whole thing confusing and frustrating. Anyway, any advice? What would you do?