How Self-Sufficient are You?

United States
June 16, 2007 5:00pm CST
How self-sufficient are you? I was raised by a very strong woman. She deplored weakness of any sort. She raised her children male and female alike to be self-sufficient, thereby never having to depend on anyone else for the necessary things; cooking, cleaning, sewing, laundry, yard maintenance, fixing small items. I find this a trait that has fallen by the wayside, especially in the younger generation. I am married and my husband is a good troubleshooter in fixing most things. However; I do derive pleasure in trying to do it myself without having to ask for help. I have torn apart a few lawn mowers in my day. Popped the hood on my cars when they were acting up, and crawled under some of them, too. I have torn apart houses, helped remodel the same, I worked with my husband as an electrician's helper for years, and did receive a few memorable shocks! That is not to say that I do not have my weaknesses, because I DO! If I have never thanked my mother for anything else in this world, I thank her for teaching me to be self-sufficient. I was just wondering, how self-sufficient are you? If a problem arises do you try to tackle it or do you call a repair person? Or do you just wait for someone else to fix the problem?
6 people like this
12 responses
@tmlnmr (1850)
• Canada
17 Jun 07
I think I am very self sufficient. I was once nicknamed "Jill of all trades" LOL. If something breaks and my hubby is around he will kinda take over and fix it himself but id he isn't around I do it all. He won't even let me hang a picture! Then he complains that he doesn't have enough time to do everything. Well Duh! If he is gone for a bit and I do something he will say that I should have waited till he got back. We have had several discussions on how I am not helpless and can do some things myself but he just won't hear of it. I have learned most of it myself though not from my mom. I want to take a mechanics course so I can understand more of the vehicles that we use.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jun 07
My mom put the urge there, but like you I have learned the how to by trial and error and I am still learning. Twenty years ago I did take a small engines repair course, I have forgotten a lot of how to fix a small engine, but I still remember most of the part names. I enjoy doing for myself. I makes me feel like I do have t be so dependent on a man for everything. It is very empowering for me.
@tmlnmr (1850)
• Canada
17 Jun 07
Yes I agree I like to do things myself I am just not sure if he thinks I am not capable or what? It frustrates me when he does that!
@bcl_me (582)
• Philippines
17 Jun 07
Gee, doing all that repair works is such a big deal to me...I am not strong enoung to handle a hammer. I cant even lift a chair myself...as compared to you...you are such a very strong woman indeed! You are so admirable and I believe that you can make the difference. Having to know all that is such a huge achievement and I must say it is really one of a kind...very very rare for a woman.
• United States
17 Jun 07
Thank you for your kind remarks. I also thought that it was rare for a woman because a lot of the women that I know personally are not like me at all. But, after reading some of the responses here, I am happy to find other women just like me!
@shelagh77 (3643)
17 Jun 07
I am physically disabled so I do have to ask for help maybe more often than most people do, but when I was assessed by the community physiotherapist she was absolutely horrified by the way I got into an out of the bath and was surprised I hadn't managed to drown myself. I also had the sink half off the wall through using it to help myself stand! My partner and I are forever coming up with new aids to help me to do things myself. I recently scalded myself making a cup of tea, the spout hit the cup and the contents tipped straight onto me, so now we have a block of wood in place so that a cup can not tip in this way. I have not stopped making the tea! I do all my own cooking from scratch and I can still knit really well. My sewing is rubbish as i can not grip the needle and I do not risk ironing, I have dropped the iron too many times. for all that though, I have read all the survival guides and have included a link to an extreme survival guide which deals with the ultimate test, when you are literally in the middle of nowhere, but there are some very good tips which would stand you in good stead in any emergency. http://www.bcadventure.com/adventure/wilderness/survival/index.html We all have different strengths and weaknesses but I do think it is our responsibility to do as much for ourselves as we can. I have built a "survival kit" of bottled water, first aid kit etc which we keep at home to be prepared for most events. If you are reading this and thinking it is much more fun to get everyone running around after you, just consider this. If there is a genuine and terrible disaster every person who is able to do something for someone else is helping to save a life. Every person who could help but lies there is doing their bit to prolong the suffering of someone else. Hmmm getting serious there, better shut up.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jun 07
Absolutely, that is true in all aspect of life. There is something to say about helping oneself as much as you are able and not depending on others. You did not lay back and allow your weaknesses to overcome you but are adapting so that you are still able to do what you can for yourself, regardless of the obstacles. That in itself is a commendable thing.Thank you for the link :) Serious is OK, too :)
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
17 Jun 07
I don't mess around with electricity as we are on 220 volts here, but otherwise I am fairly self sufficient. My mother is quite like what you describe, and we sued to say the only thing men were good for was to move around heavy furniture. She never gave any indication that there was anything we couldn't do because we were girls, in fact quite the opposite, she was clear that the sky was the limit for us. I think it is sometimes hard for my husband because I don't like to be led or told what to do, which isn't necissarily a traditional female role as far as he is concerned!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jun 07
Yes, my husband used to become so angry with me..he would say why don't you wait and we do it together? No, you HAVE to do it yourself. He doesn't say that anymore. If he calls and I say so and so has broken, he ask did you fix it? If not that's okay, or did you try this or that? I do think that most parents limit their daughters in this area. It's really a shame. Not all women have a man at home, then what? I know women that while their husband's are working outside doing manual labor won't even step outside to offer a glass of water. I am usually out there with a tool belt on and my fingers right in there helping. Helpless my eye! lol Yeah..lifting heavy things is another matter, I don't anymore. But, I do disagree with your mom on that point, men are good for more than that:P Incidentally just for GP: I am a very feminine woman:) Thank You, I enjoyed your response.
@chluvcw (31)
• United States
17 Jun 07
Sounds like your mom taught you a good, life long lesson. Now, I dig into just about everything if I can. We also, didn't have an easy time growing up, and you had to learn to "make do" with what you had. And if that meant either fixing what was broke or going without, then well, I tended to try and fix what was broken. Now I have a job in which I do just that, fix broken things. Those early lessons in life DO pay off when we get older, I guess, huh? Hahha
• United States
17 Jun 07
And now you are one of those people that others call for repairs! Yes, I agree, the lessons taught when young last a lifetime. Thank you for taking the time to share.
• India
17 Jun 07
I think I am a self sufficient man.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jun 07
That is a good thing to be :) Thanks for responding.
@nangel78 (1454)
• United States
17 Jun 07
I am as self sufficient as I can expect myself to be right now. I have areas I need to work on of course. There are things I would like to learn so I can be more self sufficient like sewing for example.
• United States
17 Jun 07
And I am sure that you will do fine learning how to sew. We all can't do all things. But trying is half the battle. And we are never too old to learn. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
• United States
16 Jun 07
I think that your mom is a wonderful woman and she did an astonishing job. I am still amazed. Best Regards Esther
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jun 07
Thank you and I think that my mother did a wonderful service for me, also. I wish more women were taught to do the same. There is a feeling of empowerment when you know that you can do something for yourself. Thank you for responding, it is appreciated :)
@rosie_123 (6113)
17 Jun 07
Well I guess I would say very in some ways - and not at all in others! I was bought up to believe that women were equal to men, and certainly I am totally self-sufficient when it comes to intellectual pursuits, and also doing things such as holding down a professional, full-time job, handling finances, travelling the world alone, spealing various languages, dealing with any problems that arise with my pets etc. I would never expect a man or anyone else to "keep" me financialy or otherwise - my partner and I are totally equal partners in our relationship. However - if you're talking about practical stuff like fixing appliances or even sewing and knitting etc - I admit I am totally, 100% useless - LOL! I guess if I am honest, I was a bit of a spolit little rich girl as a kid - went to a posh English private school, where we were taught to speak Latin but not to cook or clean - and I'm still a bit like that now. If something goes wrong I csll a repair man or throw it out! I certainly wouldn't have a clue what to do with my car - if I break down I'll just ring the AA and call an engineer out- that's what I pay my monthly subscriptions for!!
• United States
17 Jun 07
Aww..see, now I am jealous! LOL Well, working full time and being educated says a lot, also. If you can afford to hire out help then I don't see anything wrong with that, either. Thank you so much for responding!
@azimsay (543)
• India
17 Jun 07
I am also not neccesoy self sufficient.Beacause I am always staying alone,no relative to me .But some times we need some body else.
• United States
17 Jun 07
Yes we do need others. We ALL need someone sometimes. We sometimes have to do what we have to do ourselves. Thank you for taking the time to share with us.
@vivienna (582)
• Venezuela
16 Jun 07
It's a very good thing your mother did to you. Myself, I was raised without having contact to the practical side of life. When I married, I was not quite sure how to boil water for tea. Eventually I learned to not depend on having things done by others but put a hand on them. Now, although I have some knowledge about How Do Thinkg Work, I prefer to call a specialist, but mostly for lack of time to do-it-myself. There is just one area where I'm near to perfection: computers and networking. No software nor hardware problem will beat me, while there still is life in the circuits. And I'm glad for it! :D
1 person likes this
@tredale (1309)
• Australia
17 Jun 07
I like you, was raised by a strong women, who admire greatly. I will put my hand to anything. I dont always succeed but only seldom fail. I am proud to say I will be in the tool box as often as my husband. What I cant fix he normally can. I love getting my hands dirty and dealing with trades persons. We are renovating a house at the moment and I will study up and if there is something we cant do we will get in the right people. Loved this post.
• United States
17 Jun 07
I also love getting my hands dirty. The hardware store and lumberyard workers are a wealth of information. If you really want to know how to do something, go to your helpful lumberyard..there is a guy at 84-lumber here that I swear knows about every subject in construction under the moon. I or my husband always call first to ask if he is working if we need to know how to do something. Then we will go to pick up supplies and ask him how such and such is done. I own my own toolbox. My husband has to ask to borrow anything because he has a tendency not to put my tools back in the box. Grrr..this is so annoying. He likes my hammer better than his and has tried to trade me..even bought one very similar to it and tried..but, no..it just didn't have the same feel, so no deal..lol Thank you so much for responding, I love knowing that there are other women out there like me!