Watch out! Are any of these your 'Friends'??
By mean_queen
@mean_queen (1713)
Malaysia
June 17, 2007 5:31pm CST
Nowadays, it's hard to find true friends that will accept you for who you are. And in my lifetime, I've met these type of 'friends' that I would try to steer clear from in the future.. Do you have any 'friends' like these?
The Blamer
This is a person who consistently blames you and/or everyone else for her problems. The world and the people in it always seem to create havoc for this person, and instead of taking responsibility for her life, she'd rather blame others.
The Complainer
This person likes to hear her own voice. She constantly complains about what isn't working in her life and yet gets energy from complaining and dumping her frustrations on you.
The Drainer
This is the needy person who calls to ask for your guidance, support, information, advice, or whatever she needs to feel better in the moment. Because of her neediness, the conversation often revolves around her, and you can almost feel the life being sucked out of you during the conversation.
The Shamer
This person can be hazardous to your health. The shamer may cut you off, put you down, reprimand you, or make fun of your or your ideas in front of others. She often ignores your boundaries and may try to convince you that her criticism is for you own good. The shamer is the kind of person who make you question your own sanity before hers.
The Discounter
This is the person who discounts or challenges everything you say. Often, she has a strong need to be right and can find fault with any position. It can be exhausting to have a conversation with the discounter, so eventually you end up giving in and deciding to just listen.
The Gossip
This person avoids intimacy by talking about others behind their backs. The gossip gets energy from relaying stories, opinions, and the latest "scoop." By gossiping about others, she creates a lack of safety in her relationships, whether she realizes it or not. After all, if she'll talk about someone else, she'll talk about you.
So have you met any of these people in your lifetime?? Tell us about your experience with these 'friends'..
Thanks for sharing~! ;D
7 people like this
21 responses
@chenee08 (591)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
no one is perfect right? even in friendship... i have a friends who loves to complain, my bestfriend is a drainer..everytime we're together our topic revolve her its like ME, MYSELF and I... but it's ok with me i'm dealing with them now. beside what friends for right?
@nafeesa_mohd (281)
• India
18 Jun 07
i had so many friends, but not a true friend till now.... i feel only my fiance is my best friend because we match each other perfectly and thanx to god for that..... in my college i had a group of friend who are everything you mentioned above.... apart from that they're selfish.... dont know the meaning of friendship... irresponsible people.... i can forgive anyone among them since it didnt cause much loss to me exceot for one girl and she's nithya... i hate her to the core.... she is a cheater.... worse than a cheater.... she'll do anything to get her job done, the cheap and the cheapest girl i ever met as my friend.... i really regret.... she even stole my another friends mobile to buy herself a mobile.... she cheated me on cash, for which i had to stay without pocket money for more than two months.... she was roaming with her boyfriend or may be not, i can say she was dating a guy who is video jockey and he has also acted in many films as comedian for his money and his car.... she left her college work (our final year project) and she would appear only when we had to report our work.... she would stand there and put some butter and cheese to what i say and manage to pretend that she had good part of all the work that was done... worse friend i had in my life, and will never forget in my life.... i wish that anyone in the world and i should not get another friend like her...... worse experince shared...... see ya....
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
19 Jun 07
OMG~! That's really bad.. I can't imagine how you were able to call her a friend, and still manage to be around her. I haven't encountered anyone who has cheated me that way before. People like that only make you wary of who you're about to encounter in the future. Thanks for sharing your story nafeesa~! :)
@smoke_gun (1243)
• Malaysia
19 Jun 07
these are the reason why friends is needed,mean_queen.
because we are human with unperfect personality,when we are judging to others,the others judging to us too.yes,i admit that some friends really make us sick from their attitude and behavior,but i think i'll find out what make them being like that and try to help them from such illness behavior before the situation going too bad,the only reason-we are friend.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
18 Jun 07
If we are honest with ourselves, we will see that we are all guilty of at least one of these. No one is perfect and no one has the right to judge others on these faults. The main energy should be focused on fixing ourselves.
Ever heard the terms, "Birds of a feather flock together," Or "like attracts to like?" Remember, everytime you point a finger, there are four pointing back at you. I don't remember seeing anything about The Judger.
I am not trying to be mean, but when I was reading this, not only did I see my friends in this, but I saw myself also. I guess right now I am being The shamer, good thing we aren't friends right?
@TinaCL (429)
• United States
18 Jun 07
Well, I've had a few drainers in my life. When I was in middle school, I was friends with this girl who was sooooo needy. Both her parents were career-obsessed nutcases who never paid attention to her, so she took it out on me. She always wanted to come over my house because she wanted my mom to be a replacement mom for her. Arrrrgh talk about clingy! Everytime we got together, she was always clinging to my mom and being possessive of her. Ewwww!
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
19 Jun 07
LOL~! Poor you~!! Good thing you guys don't keep in touch anymore, or do you?? :P
@ateiris (53)
• New Zealand
18 Jun 07
No matter what kid of friends they are, if they are beside you in all aspect of your life ups or down it does not matter, Friends are the people you can run when no one are willing to be with you, friends are the one that are willing to listen no matter how mouthy they are, they stop and listen...With a friends in all shapes it helps you mold of who you really is and they are the one that helps you to realise that in this world...we are tend to give and take no matter what kinds of relationship we have.
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
Well I've been to places, met different types of people and learned different types of personalities/behaviors. All those you've enumerated, I already encountered. I find it not a big deal at first, but I get annoyed if they continuously do it and seemed to be like enjoying it. That's the time where I confront them, ask them what their problem is and make a mental note to be extra careful at them from that time on. Because for me, I can be easy to befriend with, but I also have limitations to preserve my dignity and integrity.
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
18 Jun 07
OMG! I have all these people in my life and they are called my relatives!!
The blamer and complainer: my sister
The drainer and shamer: my mother
The discounter and gossip: my grandmother (mother's side)
I also have a friend who is a blamer, complainer and drainer. It just depends on her mood at the time.
Great, now I have to find new relatives and a new friend. LOL :)
@McGrady (9)
• China
18 Jun 07
I have many friends .Frankly speeking ,some of them are these type of person which you have said. Because nobody is perfect ,i think constantly that all of them are my friends!
@SilentRose19 (1733)
• United States
18 Jun 07
I think that I have a big "Shamer" problem, he's always putting me in a sad place. He's my ex-boyfriend, and he's horrible. He and my husband are friends now, and have been for a while. I don't have a problem with that, because he supposedly forgave me for our previous relationship. So we became friends, well at least I thought we were. He constantly is putting me down, picking on me, and making me feel like a horrible person. My husband and I recently moved from texas to georgia, and this person hardly contacts us. The other day I got a call from him, and the only reason he called was to tell me (my recent dye job) that my new blonde hair looked bad. He's like " Your not a good blonde, it looks like crap you should change it back." I felt horrible because I've never tried blonde before, and i was feeling bad about it already. My husband was so mad, and we're still angry. I don't know of the other ones, except for that "gossiper" one. I've had alot of those, its very common to have at least one sometime in your life.
@jmespinosa82 (498)
• United States
18 Jun 07
I have had some friends like all of these but when I moved to another part of the country met my husband and go married it all changed. At first we did have a friend that wanted us apart and still tries to call and say things that aren't true to see if we fight. We have steered away from people like this now and we are happier. I think it is better now too because we are happier and I feel like I am living in a fairy tale sometimes, because our life feels so perfect. Great topic by the way.
@SilentKillerSri (208)
• India
18 Jun 07
Well first of all..congratulations on having such a fab layout for us. Luckily now that i think of it ...i have had the best gang of friends...who dont fit into any of these categories. i may have met these kinda ppl ..but i hardly care bout them..to recollect any such incidents ...i hope TOUCHWOOD my friends circle stays out of the 6 types u mentioned above.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
18 Jun 07
Sadly, I actually have had some of those people for friends, but get what you can get sometimes.
@raja316ram (279)
• India
18 Jun 07
I think you better cut off their friendship immediately.. I know there are all kinds of people in this strange world, but we can atleast choose only people who are good enough to be our friends. I dont frankly think you can make good friends with any of the characters you have talked about..
The kind of friends i have are:
Charmer: One who is always charming and always takes steps to make others happey.
Encourager: One who encourages me in everything i do or if i dont fare well in any particular thing.
Gamer: This type of friend loves games as i do so i have good company... :))
@daveisdavid (878)
• Singapore
18 Jun 07
I've friends that belongs to those categories except shamer. In fact, there are times I behave in some of these categories.
@nielcdg (709)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
Fortunately I steered away from fake friends like those in my lifetime if they are like that in the first place they shouldnt be your friends they are all emotional vampires.
The friends that i do have are these
THE DEFENDER: A person who will stay by your side whe you are being attacked by other people verbally, mentally or physically the are stickers no matter what.
THE CHEER: They always do their best to cheer you up when you are down and they think its their mission to make sure your are not down and out for the count :)
THE CATCHER: A person who will take care of you in the face of trouble, who will take no expense to help you get through your problem.
THE SHELTER: A person who will not tell you the bad things that are around you and wont allow you to panic when there is something wrong.
THE COUNCILOR: A person who listens intently eventhough you are going on and on and wont judge you but yet he will try to go to your level and make you feel you are not alone.
THE WELCOMER: A person who makes sure that you are always a part of the fun and wont take no as an answer when there is a big event for the whole gang.
THE PEACE MAKER: A person who makes sure that all conflicts in the group are resolved as soon as possible and will stay neutral as long as they can and would be impartial when it comes to evaluating who's fault it is exactly but wont blame and instead will suggest a compromise that will bring back the bond that was almost severed.
THE GATHERER: A person who calls on everyone's atttention when there is a problem too big for one person to fix alone, he usually divides the work load to make sure no one feels obligated.
These guys are my friends and Im proud of them Im the Gatherer in the group and the councilor :)
@tredale (1309)
• Australia
18 Jun 07
Hi mean_queen at times Ive had all of these types of people in my life but I wouldnt really call them friends they were people that I hung out with for a bit. I have all these qualities myself at times but not just a quality but I have known people who are vexing on the spirit and now make a strong choice not to have the one type around me. I think we all have some of these qualities at times.
@ordna01 (5)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
I have met all these type of people but one thing we should keep in our minds that those people that surrounds us, either we should call Him/Her as bad or good types of friend, mold/shape us to be a better person ( depending on His/Her approached to the person).We could'nt evade those person so we are the one to be the instrument of influencing them for good and in exchange it would build in us patience and greater understanding that eventually turns to great accomplishment.
