Are you appriciated?

you should know that someone appreciates you every single day! you might not even know the person.. maybe its someone you smiled at, or passed by in a store, and you let them go ahead of you, or maybe even a person that you don't talk to that day, but are thought of. and i think your kids love you. so that will be appreciated all your life. but most of all, you should appreciate the fact that you get the opportunity to have your children and your husband and that they are healthy! time goes by so fast, you will one day be working full time, and wishing you had that time back when they were younger!

Cheryl, reading your post here really pulled at my heart. When I was a young mother I was not able to stay at home, I had to work. I can tell you that at first my husband really believed that taking care of the children was my responsibility, even though I held a full time job. I was still doing all of the housework also. One day I just snapped. I did everyones laundry but his. I cooked and fed only my babies and myself. I did not vacuum, nor did I do dishes other then what was needed to fed the children and myself. After about a month of this my husband began to get the point.. I needed help, it was his responsibility also, and that I was a tired wore out MOM. It took some time, but he began to make small changes, we divided our work schedules, so that one of us was at home all of the time with the boys. And my husband began to do his share of parenting and housework. I know you have heard it said that we teach others how to treat us. If we allow a behavior to continue that becomes the norm and then change is hard because we set the standards of treatment. Fighting is not the answer either. But you could start by saying okay if you do not want to watch OUR child for awhile so that I can nap or take a bath, I will call and pay for a sitter. Look for ways to circumvent the fight but let your husband know how serious you are. That a stay at home mom has a big job, that does not end at 5:00 when the normal work day is done. You do need time for yourself, what ends up happening if you are not allowed to refresh is that you will end up in resentment towards your husband. Take the control back, if nothing else research ways to get your point across with out argument or stress. It might not be easy at first, but in the long run you will be breathing and feeling so much better. Sorry for the long post... I have been through this and my heart goes out to you.

this is the hardest job ever and you should change that situation before it will get permanently. i guess you really had a good idea with that part time job and you should do it as soon as you can. in the worst case wait a few months so the baby will be a little bit older but don't forget to make the "daddy" take care of him for a least half an hour a day. this is goin to be good for the future father-son relationship and your husband will learn how to take care of the baby too. goodluck

A little over a year ago my fiancee and I moved in together. I have three young children that live with us. For whatever reason he assumed that I would want to work nine hours a day, drive twenty minutes to and from work, come home to cook and clean the house all by myself. On my days off I got to mow the lawn ( takes two hours at least). I would have to pick up all of his dirty clothes so that I could manage to get all six loads of laundry done. About a couple of months of my doing this I snapped. I told him that I wasn't his personal maid to wait on him hand and foot. From now on I wouldn't do anything. If he wants me to cook a meal then he has to cook one the night before. If he cooks I will do the dishes. If I cook he does the dishes and so forth. From now on we do things equally. I got sick last December and we decided that it would be best if I stay at home with the children. The same rules go for the most part. I do the majority of the cleaning but he still has to pitch in to help.

I have this same problem. I am a stay at home mom to 5 children. While my husband does work all day, I still would like at least some help when he comes home. I feel like my job taking care of five children (ages 9,5,4,2 and 2 months) is just as hard as his. He not only doesn't deal with the kids when he comes home, he also takes of his shoes and socks and leaves them for me to clean, constantly asks me to get him something (a drink, a snack from the fidge) and won't even answer the phone. I would love to go to work just so I can come home and pawn the kids off on him for the day. He would last about 5 minutes doing the job that I do.

Don't worry, just wait till your son grows up maybe 3 you can get someone to take of him so you can look for a part time job. I woke up at 4:00am do the washing, cleaning while the baby asleep. so when the baby wakes up everything is done already. I have enough time to take care of him the whole day, and when he sleeps , then i will sleep with him too, so by the time my husband arrives he can look after the baby for a while so I can prepare something for dinner. It's just a matter of time management.

i think its high time u showed them who u r are.just chalk out what u love to do(which by now u would have forgotten). go back when u were young u must have had some dreams like becming a singer, dancer or learning. just enroll into whatever u want to do, get ur family together and inform tht u need to do. most of the time, its our own fault tht we give in to the families needs. we have our need to and if u dont care for it, who will. i experienced the same, and one fine day i decided to be myself, of ocurse i do all the same work, but once i knew my worthiness and proved to myself and others tht i am a successful writer, i do the same work with more invovlement. u r frustrated and stressed out, just get out and enjoy,dont feel guilty u deserve it right away

I don't feel appreciated . I used to try to do everything for everybody but over the last year have got tired of being the one to do everything and everyone expect it and yet when everyone else would do something I would say how much I appreciated the help yet then would have it thrown in my face that I didn't realize how much I they were helping or whatever even though I said it everytime someone helped me out and when it was the other way around nothing was said . I would have thought they would have noticed but if they did they never said anything and have kind of given up on trying to help out more because obviously I was wasting my time as I don't believe that I was appreciated for all that I did .

You need time off also. This is a partnership. When he gets home from work you guys should have dinner and do whatever cleaning needs to be done and then he needs to spend time with his child, while you spend time with you. You also need to work out something for the days you he is off. You need to go out with the girls and be a woman and not a mother. Go shopping, get a facial, pamper yourself to the max. You have earned it.

I understand what you are going threw. When I became a wahm~ 15 yrs ago, I quit my job and opened an inhome daycare. My husband was just like yours...but I didn't just have my kids, I had others too. Finally I decided to go away with my sisters for a weekend so that my husband could get just a little taste of what I did every day and night. Well, that's all it took. One night/2days away and he realized that it is a job being a stay at home mom. Now he helps with the dishes, does laundry, helps with the kids and realizes that I need some me time once in a while.

My partner always made the comment on how easy I had it being able to stay at home and do nothing all day, until last week when he had our daughter for the whole day on his own, while I went to work, I didnt expect him to do anything else but look after the baby, unlike me who has to wash dishes, cook tea, clean clothes etc etc etc and by the time I got home he was exhausted, mind you he got out of bed 2 hours after I do every day..... I think he realises now that it isnt as easy as he thought it was!

hi, there. I know how you feel. Bring up or raise children certainly a job, and not an easy one. And nobody give you salary/pay check for that.LOL. Well, maybe if you do want a part time job, is it possible if you have any relatives near by that you can trust to baby sit your baby? When my daughter was a baby, usually I took a nap as soon as she was napping....so at least i can get 45 minutes rest. And I think your husband need to do some part taking care the baby. Doesn't he want to have some bond with his son? You and him, might need to attend some kind of parenting class just so he know, taking care a baby is a BIG JOB. Good luck to you!