my husband's secretry made me feel insecure

Sorry to hear you feel this way. Though you shouldnt feel bad or insecure because you must not forget that your husband chose YOU not her so he must love you. Plus if it did not work out between them you shouldnt worry, also she has a new husband her self so she isnt exactly looking for a partner. Its good that her and your husband get along as friends as many relationships can turn sour. Also if she is being so nice maybe she wants to be your friend and let you know not to feel threatened by her. Maybe you should tell your husband that you trust him and know that he will be faithful to you, but sometimes you need a little reassurance or something. One thing though, I do not know whether you thought of it or not but I wouldnt advise asking him to quit his job, as he may later resent you for losing a good job where he had a good friend. I hope I have been able to help and reassure you, I'm sure he loves you very much.

There is/was this girl at my husband's last job who just could not keep away from him. She always had to smoke when he smoked, go down to the gym whenever he went, ask for massages, lunch and after-work "get-togethers"- she was relentless. Now, even though they have both left that office, she still calls him and invites him out or to confide him! I'm not the jealous type, I never gave him a hard time about her - I figure, my man is my man or he's not - but this girl is cruising for a cuss-out! Oh, my husband is her friend, she can really talk to him, she really respects him, blah,blah,blah. I told him a year ago that she was trying to seduce him and he finally has to admit that she has crossed the line. She called the other day offering to pick him up from home so they could have dinner, drinks, go to the casino and "see what happens from there"! I just looked at him and laughed and told him to have a good time - oh, and by the way, where did he want me to forward his mail and his clothes? Needless to say, he didn't go. "Friends", my butt! Just because I am not territorial and insecure as far as my husband is concerned, doesn't mean that I am willing to be disrespected. My advice, Listen to your instincts, you don't want to be paranoid or insecure but you do want to trust your gut feelings. Trust also that your husband loves you. We wives have to be more confident in the men that we choose - confident that they will protect, honor and respect their vows to us. Relax, enjoy being a wife. Every man has a history with some woman somewhere, yours is just a little closer to home than most would be comfortable with. As long as she doesn't cross the line, relax and trust your husband to do the right thing - until he proves that he can't!