What would you do about your mother in law

Sometimes people handle grief differently sweets and maybe this is her way. If you cannot ignore the way she is acting then I would suggest that you get whoever you think she would listen to most to sit down to explain that your hubby is suffering really badly and that she has to be more considerate of his feelings, support him rather than burden, but do it diplomatically as the last thing any of you need is more upset! I hope things improve with your mother in law rosa! xxx

I am so sorry to hear about your son, that is a dreadful thing for a parent. As for the MIL, you need to place some distance between her and your husband. It does sound like she is looking for attention or maybe she feels that her feelings are more important then other people's feelings. Are you and your husband going to a support group? There used to be a group called Compassionate Friends, maybe you can go to this group and find out if they have a grandparent's chapter. Maybe you could start one, that way she could learn to deal with her feelings with people other then you guys. In the meantime, you can begin to heal on your own with her making things worse.

I cant say i know how you feel as i have never lost a child but i have read a few posts on here by Grandparents & their comments are always something like : I feel as though i love my Grandchildren more than my own children. Now i'm not standing up for your Mother in law but if Grandparents do love their Grandkids more than their own kids then she would be hurting just as much as you guys are & i think her trying to top your husband is just her way of expressing that feeling. Only she's not thinking of how anyone else feels, only herself. I think she's cruel for doing it the way she has & i think a bit of time & distance from her would be the best way for you to fix this. I think if it were my mother in law, i'd want to have a decent amount of time away from her & not speak to her until my partner & i have had a chance to come to terms with the loss ourselves. I do feel for you, so very much & hope you guys can celebrate his life rather than grieve his loss soon. Kel xxx

I'm sorry for your loss. I think it is because all of you are mourning. The same thing happened when our dad passed away. Everyone seems to want their memory of him to be the most special of all because it is a way to cope. I think the same is happening with your mother-in-law. Is it possible to move away from her just until everyone has healed better? I believe mourning is personal. To try to one-up each other over who is mourning more just spreads unnecessary stress to everyone around. Maybe everyone to be apart for the time being.

first of all, im really sorry to hear about your situation having ur son pass away.. ok here is my thoughts... i do not think "jealousy" is the reason his mother is doing this, i would say it is a symptom of shock and disbelieve that ur son has passes away. I would say consult a psychiatrist about the situation. i believe your mother in law may love/miss your son too much causing her to be possessive of your son, even after he has passed away (if you dont know what it means, it means that she is making herself and everyone around her to think that SHE is the one who hurts the most) I think you should tell your husband that she is only saying that because she loves his son, so do not be upset. if you do not wish to take it as far as consulting a psychiatrist, yes you should talk to the mother in law hope that helps again...im sry to hear what happened :(

that sucks. well youve already talked to her so thats pretty much all you can do inless it irritates you to the point where you just can't talk to her anymore until she quits it.

OMG !! I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son and can't believe that any mother would not be able to see the pain her son was in after losing his child . Naturally he is more upset then she is as he lost his son and she still has hers . Who would even want to compete over something like that . She seriously has issues if she believes this is about her . This is about you and your husband and she must be some kind of control freak to even want to compare situations that she could possibly be hurting more then you guys . I honestly don't know what I would do but think that I would end up blowing up and asking what she was trying to prove . She is only making this harder for her own son because he can't talk about something that is bothering him so much and he needs to be able to talk about this and have some understaning not competition . Again I am deeply sorry about the loss of your son and wish you the very best for the future !!

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. If possible, why don't you and your husband try to distance yourselves from your mother in law. It sounds as if he tried to tell her how he feels and she wasn't listening. She sounds very needy. Have your husband talk to her again and tell her that he can't be around her for awhile because when they are together she hurts his feelings. Maybe this absense will make her become aware of what she is doing.

Sometimes , i think we should understand our eldership, because when their children grow up and they leave their parents , our eldership fell alone ,and you will find that we can not communicate with them easily, and we will find it is difficult for us !

Have you talked to her? I would take a moment to pull her aside and let her know that her choices are not only childish but she is hurting your husband in a time when she should be particularly understanding.