what is your choice:love or responsibility?

If he does not loved her from the beginning, then he should have had the child. There is no ground that he can divorce his first wife legally. If he can proove that his wife is sexually not compatible to him and willing to pay the compensation to his wife and child there are chances of getting divorced.

yeah. I understand him. but i think he must be responsible for everything as a man. don't hurt anyone. if he truly love the girl, just may she can find a good man. because u married alrealy, and u have not the right to marry with her. and the turly love is necessary not staying with the lover sometime. Missing someone is better than staying with her/him. something missing is precious. huh.

I think your friend should have thought about this before marriage. I think it's horrible to marry his wife have a baby and then say hey I did not love you. I love someone else. Your friend need to sit down and really think this over. Is it possible he is just infatuated with the new girl?

That is really so tough and painful to figure out. I think it is in our mistakes that we learn to move and find another way. I think there is goodness after being so honest to be transparent in everything he feels and plans. I know he is a kind of responsible person. It's such that it happened and the thing is, we really can't teach love. Yes, we felt pity or appreciate for everything, event, person, that we may see but not to the extent that we love it at all. Problems like that can be resolved by starting a cup of coffee or tea in a mild and good communication between the parties. Yes, there is good thing when starting a good conversation of which everyone has an open ear to listen from a free mouth that speak from the heart.

This is the problem with arranged marriage, this happens also in our country to those who practices this century-old customs. It's like a "thing from the past" now, since we live now in a fast-paced life. Most of the countries from the east are influenced by the west, some are liberated and don't practice any of these anymore. I think love is the most important thing that matters here, because without that, a relationship won't work good. Responsibility comes next, to the individuals own family and not to his/her relatives.

I will prefer responsibility more then love because when we can finish our responsibilities then we get a lot of time for love.

i dont think a man doesnt take his responsibility deserves any kind of "love". he can "love" anyone, even a female dog, but he should be responsible for his deals.

It's a sad story. I can't understand arranged marriages at all, there something like that would be absolutely unbelievable. Anyway, the guy is father now. He has a child, his flesh and blood. He has lived with his wife three years, and it seems their life is quite OK although he doesn't feel great passion for her, isn't it? And he met this other girl only a couple of months ago, and wants already marry her... No, it wouldn't be a wise choice, I'm afraid. I would suggest your friend to choose responsibility, and stay with his wife and child.

This is difficult. I would never marry for less than love - but it is also not in my culture. Here we marry the person we love - parents do not arrange marriages. I do belive that he should not have had a kid with her so soon if he was not sure. I do not have a problem with people getting a divorce AS long as he still takes responsibility for the child. You can never divorce a child!

Responsibility is more important, especially since there is a child involved. He should have thought about his love for his wife, or non-existent love before he went and fertilized the world with another child, he needs to stand besides his wife and forget that he loves another, how can he even consider leaving with such a young child needing his love and attention for the rest of his life, how can he be so selfish as to put his life before the child that he created, he needs to think of his responsibilities before he considers himself in his life.

These cultures where there are prearranged marriages confuse me. I can't see myself marrying someone I didn't know nor love at the time. I could not live with someone and try to love them in a marraige. Now as far as my feelings in this with the culture of this set to the side, I would go with the one he loves. He can still be a responsible father. But can he love one woman and live with another raising a family? That's my feelings being from thre States. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~

I think this man is very wrong to have an affair. He is already married. His wife doesn't make any mistakes. If he doesn't love her, why he married her and even had a kid? Since he already made the decision to marry her, then he should to be a good husband and father. It's just a shame reason that explain that he didn't love her. It's just arranged by his parents. He is an adult, if he didn't want to marry her, nobody can force him to do so. And how to explain that they have a kid? It's just so irresponsible to love another girl when this man has a family. It's totally wrong. I think he should stop his affair and try to be a good husband and father.

I think it is a sin to get married without love. He will keep sinning if he continue with the marriage he is into. But if he married his wife, it is against the church to divorce. I can't say anything more than what I think is right. I do not believe this man do not have love for his children and his wife. God bless!

Wow..this is a tough one. I don't think there actually is a right or wrong decision here. This is a very heavy matter and I think only your friend can answer this question. What he needs to do is to come to a realization of what is more important to him in this life. Either way, there will be different consequences. Both good and bad. I have a friend who is somewhat in a similiar situation. She never did love the man she married, but because of sticky situations she had to do it. She has a 3 year old son and she used to think that eventhough she doesn't love her husband, the right thing to do is to stay together for the child. But she finally realized that staying in the relationship is destroying her and she's ready to divorce him at last. People will judge her for this and I am sure the same hting will happen to your friend regardless of which path he chooses. But at the end of the day, he's the one who has to live with his situation. In my opinion, the best advice you could give him is to just be true to himself and do what will make him happy, but he has to be mentally and emotionally prepared for the consequences. Hope this helps you Angela :) Best, R.

I will prefer responsibility more then love because when we can finish our responsibilities then we get a lot of time for love.

What i really think is one must give preference to responsibilities.. & He have had a child.. He has been with his wife... & Just because he met one girl again, he should not leave her wife.. Love is fine but responsibilities come first

He should stick with his first marital commitment and stop seeing the second woman. Love is fleeting, arranged marriages are typically grow to be the happiest because they are without that crazy lusty silly insecure feeling that comes with love, which doesn't last.

The marriage right from the start is a mistake...a big mistake. I mean, if they don't love each other why would they marry. If I were in their shoes I will never marry someone whom I don't love. Next mistake is for them to have a child...if their marriage was not consummated there is a greater chance for them to file a divorce. They don't need to worry bout who will get the child, etc. My advice to you is this...just tell your friend to do what he thinks is right and where he is happy.

Hmmm, thats complicated, if your friend can't find mistakes from his wife or even from his inlaws what would you think the best way for your friend to say or to explain to his wife that he wants to marry again with someone he really love? How do you think his kid will think about their father? Have you ever tried to ask your friend what was the real feeling he felt for his wife? how about his feeling for his own family now (His kid and his wife)? Do you think their marriage got problem? How could he stand to be with someone he eally doesn't love in one roof? and they has their kid too??? I know sometimes boys will be boys but --- well, I dont know what kind of friend you've got and i dont want to judge someone But I just only want you to know and I want you to ask this to him (to your friend), To whom he could give and surrender his whole life? not for better but for worst. He should think all the negatives first and think the positive side of his problem before doing any move. Remember, Happy endings always comes at the end.... So I wish all the best for your friend ....

I would like to know whether or not the woman he is married to is in love with him. He should've been aware of the possibility of falling in love with another woman the moment he agreed to have an arrange marriage. Since he already has a child with her, it's better to be selfless for the sake of the child. Then again, the kid should be happy as long as his parents are happy and as long as the parents stay good friends. If the woman is not in love with him either...I'm sure they can reach a compromise with each other. Have he discuss this with his wife yet? Or is he keeping it as a secret from her? He met this girl for only several months and he's thinking about marrying her already? Getting married shouldn't be like getting a boyfriend that you can just change every now and then. This is why the numbers of people getting divorce increase every year. The best way to go about this is for him to talk to his wife. Since it's only several months...I'm sure he might change his mind again. I'd say wait and see what happens. If he can't take it...definitely talk to the wife. Then together, if she agrees, talk to the kid TOGETHER (both wife and husband). I hope this helps. =/