My sister's wedding
By luintaurien
@luintaurien (972)
United States
June 21, 2007 6:51am CST
My sister got married on May 27, 2007. It was a wonderful occasion. She told us to be there at 12:30 for pictures. She showed up at 1:30 herself. She was absolutely beautiful. She wore slippers and her wedding dress had spaghetti straps and lots of embroidery and beading. She wore white. They had it outdoors at a park in Omaha Nebraska. The park was along the Missouri River so they had the bluffs and trees in the background. The wedding was short. They had written their own vows but forgot them at home so they made them up on the spot. They were so beautiful that I cried. The did a unity sand instead of a unity candle. Her colors were yellow and purple. Very pretty. They did bubbles because the park wouldn't let them use bird seed.
The reception was beautiful. They had it at the Forte in Omaha. They food was great. They had fruit and cheese for apetizers. The meal was vegetables, potatoes, London grill beef or chicken with gravy. They had to buy 170 plates and had 60 people show up. The cake was deocrated with flowers rather than the standard bride and groom on top but was still very pretty.
The only downside was my mother's griping about the fact that she had invited her ex-boyfriend's family since she feels close to them and keeps in touch with them. They were brides maids in the wedding and ushers. My mom thought her sisters should have been bridesmaids but I didn't mind because I couldn't afford it anyway. I couldn't afford the dress and hair and nails so would have refused. For all of my mom's griping, all of her ex-boyfriemnd's family showed up and only one of our uncles showed up out of 6 on my mom's side and 6 on my dad's side that wasn't so good. I think that my sister had the right to invite anyone she wanted to one of the most important days of her life.
How would you feel about this situation? Would you agree with me that she should invite whomever she chooses to the wedding with out being critisized?
5 people like this
20 responses
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
22 Jun 07
Your mother spent far too much time griping about things that were no concern of her, to enjoy her daughters wedding day and I think thats rather sad.
Your sister had the rights to invite whoever she wanted, and your mom really should have respected that decision.
I'm getting married in May next year and we have a few people on the list that may feel slightly uncomfortable with other attendees there, but the fact of the matter is that it's our Wedding day and we'd like them there.
Your mom should have kept her mouth shut on one of her daughters biggest days of her life.
Congratulations to your sister and her new husband.
2 people like this
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
4 Jul 07
I think it is mom's way of bashing her grandson's other family. This is his father's family that my mother did not think should be there. I think they had every right to be there because they are a part of her family in a waeven though the two of them never got married.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
21 Jun 07
Yes because sometime we just don't like family. Being family is not a guarantee that the family is going to be close or even like each other. It was her day and she should invite whom ever she pleased and had in her wedding those that she wanted. she might have known that you could not afford the necessities to be in her wedding so that is why she chose the ones she did. sometimes mom get over proactive. As you will find out when your little one grows up. We never change in that.
2 people like this
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
3 Jul 07
That is probably it. My sister did know my circumstances. She knew that I am planning to go to Virginia again soon and needed the money.
@samson1967 (7414)
• India
21 Jun 07
Your explanations took me to your sisters wedding and reception. Marriage is the onetime special occassion in everyones life. It is the day of bride and groom and they have all the rights to invite everybody.
2 people like this
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
3 Jul 07
Thank you for the comments. I think that they did the right thing by inviting people they wanted there instead of being forced to invite someone they didn't want there in the first place.
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
3 Jul 07
Thank you. I think that we all had a good time. Even though I left the reception very early due to Nicholas being too tired to not be a crab, I think it was a great time that none of us would change for anything. It was almost perfect.
@ElicBxn (63593)
• United States
22 Jun 07
Its your sister's wedding, she has the absolute right to invite ANYONE she wants. I'd bet your mom is gripping because her mom did her wedding & she didn't get to do one. There might also be some guilt over the ex's family showing up and the bio family being absent.
If you get tired of hearing your mom gripe, ask what exactly about it is bothering her. It may be that once she tries to put it in words, and you can refute her preception, that she will get over it.
1 person likes this
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
25 Jul 07
She also expected us to go to college and get jobs that would get us out of the small town where we live. My married sister and I have done this but my brother and other sister still live at home.
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
4 Jul 07
My mom had to have her mother's permission to get married. She was 17 at the time and they had to go to Kansas and get married in the courthouse. She would not wait any longer though.
@ElicBxn (63593)
• United States
4 Jul 07
There you are, she wanted to have her "dream wedding" thru her daughter. When her daughter refused to be compliant her only resort was to complain.
Probably your sister will get as tired of it as you are at some point & tell her to get over it. I wouldn't expect it tho.
Is this the first time your mother has tried to live out her fantasies thru you guys? I would kind of think not, unless this is the only fantasy she had that she wanted fulfilled.
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
4 Jul 07
she did the right thing..weddings are not written in stone and who knows what tomorrow may bring? she is still keeping in touch with people she cares about..if this wedding last the test of time then nothing is wrong..but since she knows that most marriages have a low rate of success and the chance of a failure is about fifty fifty..thne she did not burn her bridges behind her..
I have been married and divorced..nobody marries and thinks that they will divorce..but one should always think about the posiblity and never take anything for granted...life is so unpredictable..but you are very nobel to not make a fuss..you saved money and you had a good time...that is the main thing.enjoy
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
25 Jul 07
Thank you for your thoughts on this. I did enjoy it a lot. She is very special to me even though there is some sibling rivalry.
@claudia413 (4280)
• United States
21 Jun 07
Your sister's wedding sounds like it was beautiful. It's a shame that more people didn't show up since they had to pay for 170 plates. Your sister had the right to invite whoever she wanted to her wedding. Your mother had no right to criticize.
At my granddaughter's wedding on June 9, 2007, the wedding cake was decorated with the same flowers that the bridesmaids and maid of honor carried. It was beautiful. I'm attaching a picture of her cake(s). I'd love to see a picture of your sister's cake also.
1 person likes this
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
4 Jul 07
I hope she sends us pictures of the wedding very soon. I want to see them very badly.
@hockeygal4ever (10021)
• United States
4 Jul 07
I agree with you... it's her wedding, let her say who she wants to share the special day with and how.
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
25 Jul 07
Thank you for your comments. I think my mom was just showing frustration but no one else really cared as much.
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
22 Jun 07
It was her day and I do agree with you she should have invited whom ever she wanted. I think your mom is a bitter old women who needs to learn to keep her mouth shut. She sounds a lot like my mom always finding the negative out of everything.
I hope your sister had a good day no matter what.
1 person likes this
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
4 Jul 07
My mom is exactly like that. there has to be something negative about everything. then again there can be negative found in anything if you look hard enough. She had a great time, but she wanted us to stay longer than we could. She did understand though that with a two year old it would have been very hard for us to stay any longer.
@gizmo528 (731)
• United States
22 Jun 07
It sounds like she had the wedding of a lifetime and one that she will always remember. I think that she had the right to invite anyone that she wanted to without people criticizing who she invited. As long as she was comfortable and her fiance were comfortable with who was invited then it shouldn't matter. After all, it is her day, her wedding and her dream come true day. :-)
1 person likes this
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
4 Jul 07
Thanks for your comments. I think my mother just has this passive aggressive streak that runs through her.
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
4 Jul 07
I will try to get some pictures to share. she has not sent any out or anything yet.
@wangchunxia (701)
• China
22 Jun 07
Firt of all, i would like to say:congratulations!
How wonderful it is!
1 person likes this
@magnel (2263)
• India
21 Jun 07
First of all, please congratulate you sister for her marriage.
Yes, of course, your sister has the every right to select whom she wants to call for her marriage, but there are other things also that we have to take care of as we have to stay in the society. So we have to call in those people as well whom we might not like. So everything has to be taken care of while preparing the list of guest for the marriage.
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
3 Jul 07
Thank you for your comments on this. I think she did the right thing by inviting her friends instead of just the people my mom wanted there. It made it her wedding instead of my mom's wedding.
@nicolec (2671)
• United States
21 Jun 07
Sounds like a wonderful wedding. And you are right. Your sister has every right to invite who she wants. And to have whom ever she wants in her wedding party. If your mother had a problem with it, she could have quietly discussed it with your sister months ago, not at the wedding. Sorry, but that's a bit tacky.
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
3 Jul 07
Oh but she refused to talk to my sister about it at all. Instead she talked to the rest of us kids hoping that we would tell her how upset she was about it. That is when it gets to be unbearable to be around my mother.
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
21 Jun 07
Yes I agree with you your sister does have the right to invite anyone she wanted to to her wedding just as long as her new husband didn't mind then that is all that matters. My little sister is getting married in July (finally) after being with the same man for about 25 years. They are going to elope to Vegas and do it alone because they feel they have been together too long to have a big wedding. Now I disagree with my sister about that but this is what SHE and Her husband to be want so I can't argue with her. And If she did have a wedding I would be the one to be her maid of honor and like you I would not be able to afford it. So I am happy with her decision and your mom should not have griped on what is suppose to be the happiest day of your sisters life.
1 person likes this
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
3 Jul 07
The funny thing is that she refused to gripe at my sister. She just griped at the rest of us. You are right though, your sister should be able to do anything they want for their wedding.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
21 Jun 07
As long as the groom had no objections to whom she invited, than sorry to say your mom should have stayed out of it. It is after all your sister's wedding day and things should be as she wanted. I was in my sisters first wedding, but not in the second. I did not feel slighted at all. If she wanted other people to be her bridesmaids, then so be it. I didn't even have a traditional wedding with bridesmaids, etc the importance of a wedding day lies with the couple. They should do exactly as they please on their special day.
1 person likes this
@fatragu (677)
• United States
21 Jun 07
It sounds like she had a beautiful wedding. What park in Omaha did she have it at? I wanted to have mine in the park down in the Old Market that has the little river that goes through it with all of the fish in it. I think that since it is the only day in their lives where everyone will be and should be totally focused on them that they have the right to invite anyone that they want. When my hubby and I got married we told my family not to come because they were 8 hours away and we owned a restruant in Tecunseh at the time so we were at work and took some time off to go across the street to get married and then come back to work. I told them not to come because we wouldn't be able to spend any time with them so I told them to save the money and just come out when our daughter was born almost 2 months to the day later. My hubby and I had actually decided on purple, turqoise, and yellow so that is neat. Congrats to your sister.
1 person likes this
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
3 Jul 07
It is a park on the same street as the zoo and the baseball stadium. It was just a little park with a gazebo. No other facitilties.
@searing (5)
• China
21 Jun 07
I can imagine that your sister was very pritty with wearing the
wedding veil,and the marriage was aslo wonderful.i 'm sure every
females want to get a prefect wedding.me ,too.
i hope your sister will have a happyness life with her family
after wedding.
@luintaurien (972)
• United States
3 Jul 07
Thank you for your comments. It was a very beautiful wedding. I loved it.
