Me at the funeral home

United States
June 21, 2007 10:59am CST
The day after my son died, we all met at the funeral home. It was a hard enough day as it is but then we had all of this drama that occured. I helped to raise my step son and there was no step in our family. He is my son no matter what anyone has to say. We were at the funeral home making the funeral arrangments with my parent in laws, Gaje's real mother and her mother, and our oldest son. We did not have a say in anything that was done for the funeral and we are the ones who was left liable for paying it. When it came time for the obituary, we did not have a say so in it either. We are the ones who had custody of Gaje and yet we could not voice our opinion in anything. The obituary was going to read Brent and Rosa florence and then the real mother. She did not want it this way and through a fit until she was put at the top of the list. Then she got mad and made them change it from Brent and Rosa Florence to Brent Florence and wife;Rosa. It was rediculous. She didn't even want my two daughters, who are 4 & 6, to even be in the obituary. She through a fit about it and Brent told her that she has had everything her way so she could just let us put them in there. My kids were raised with him and they never used the word step when it came to saying brother or sister. The Obituary cost $261, it is $5 a line. None of my family got to be in there and i pratically raised him around my family. They didn't get to be in there because his real mother didn't want them in there. I thought that this was wrong becsause she hasn't been around them much. The last time that she seen the boys before Gaje's death, was the night before Christmas which was five months before his death. Should I have handled this better? Was I being imature for wanting things differently?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@mummymo (23706)
22 Jun 07
Oh sweets I know it is hard and you have dealt with things really well. Gajes 'real' mother probably feels very guilty and knows that she hasn't been there for her kids, combine this and her grief mixed with jealousy towards you because of your relationship with the kids and that may be the reason she is acting the way she is! I know she should be thankful for the fact that you were a good mother to them but then she is probably not thinking rationally - guilt eats away at you! I think from what you have said that you have been dignified and mature and that is the best you could do! xxx
1 person likes this
21 Jun 07
First of all I am very sorry for your loss. I believe you had a right for your family to be mentioned as he was treated as one of your family and probably felt the same towards you. I guess at a time like that everyone has very strong emotions and things can get out of hand. I wish it had been better for you though and that everyone could have agreed. As Im sure that he wouldnt want everyone fighting, and loved you, and thought of you all equally as family. I give you all my sympathy, and wish you luck for the future, I wish I could be of more help.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jun 07
She has got to be feeling really guilty, because actually she was not this child's mom..you were..you was the one who fed him..washed his clothes..nursed him..not her..she has to lay her head down at night..I bet she has to be feeling really bad about herself..sad thing is..she is a bad person..because a child isn't taken from a biological mother unless she is unfit..and even then if the mother wants him..usually she can make better of herself and get him..you was his mommy..she is only his biological mother